She was his
by edenfalls81
Summary: Spike saves a blind girl from a vampire attack and they get to know each other. It could be love, if they don't kill each other first. Set during Season Six.
1. Chapter 1

1

Spike grasped the cold mug of beer and relished the feel of the condensation rolling across his hand. _God to be corporeal again, could anything be better?_ He thought smugly.

He swallowed the beer in three long swallows and nearly shivered from the heavenly taste of the cold brew. He wasn't sure if anything could beat the feeling of a cold beer sliding down his throat, well other than hot blood from an artery. He forced thoughts of warm pulsing blood out of his mind, he was one of the good guys now and thinking about human blood was a temptation that he didn't need.

He caught the bartender's eye and motioned to his empty mug. The bartender gave him a curt nod and refilled the glass. Spike drained the second beer as quickly as he drained the first and let out a low belch of satisfaction. He was tempted to order a third, but seeing as how he'd only been in the bar for five minutes and he'd already put away two pints, he figured the other patrons might start talking if he downed another.

In an effort to pass some time before ordering another round he pulled out a cigarette and went to light it.

"Hey buddy this is California, you can't be smoking in here!" The bartender shouted gruffly and pointed to a No-Smoking sign hanging behind the bar.

Spike let out a frustrated growl and pushed his stool back away from the bar and stormed out of the bar in a huff.

_Bloody damn health conscious Californians._ He thought bitterly as he stomped away from the bar.

He thought about heading back to Wolfram and Hart, he wasn't thrilled with that idea, but at least he could annoy Angel and maybe Harm would be up for another go in an office, maybe Angel's office. The thought of nailing Harmony on Angel's desk did put a certain bounce in Spike's step as he headed back towards the office.

He was halfway back to Wolfram and Hart when he heard a shrill scream pierce the air, followed by the sound of fist hitting flesh and a body hitting the ground.

"Get off me, cocksucker!" A woman yelled.

Spike smirked at the filthy language and headed towards the sound of the scuffle. The fight was coming from a narrow dark alley next door to an all night diner.

_Why do these damn woman always walk down dark alleys? It's like they wanna get killed._ Spike thought sarcastically.

He rounded a small corner and saw two vampires standing over a young woman in a waitress uniform, she was sprawled on the ground next to a dropped bag of trash. Spike realized that she had come back here to take out the trash from the diner and that the two vampires had jumped her. It almost made him feel a little bad that he'd thought she was a dumb twit looking to get bit, when really she was just trying to get her job done.

"Sorry to interrupt but the lady there still owes me a tuna melt. You buggers mind waiting to finish her off till after she gets me my food?" Spike asked sarcastically, he was leaning against the wall of the diner, looking casual and relaxed.

"Get the fuck outta here, she's ours." The bigger of the two vampires growled.

Both of the vampires were wearing black clothes and one of them had his eyes lined with black liner and his lips covered in black lipstick, the other was actually wearing a long black cape. Spike wanted to gag, goth vampires? Did these two have no idea what kind of an image they were projecting to the world about their kind? It was worth dusting them over their fashion sense alone, even if they hadn't been planning on snacking on a helpless woman.

"Well if you're gonna be rude about things…" Spike threatened and pulled a stake out of his coat pocket.

Just as he was ready to lunge at the bigger of the two the waitress on the ground reached out a foot and caught the vampire in the back of the leg. The vampire stumbled forward and straight into the stake that Spike was holding, his surprised face disappeared into a pile of dust after a few seconds. Spike's face was nearly as surprised as the now dead vampires had been at the ease of the kill.

The smaller vampire looked nervously from Spike to the waitress on the ground, it seemed that he'd decided one skinny waitress wasn't worth the trouble. He turned quickly and jumped over the fence that blocked off the end of the alley, Spike quickly threw the stake in his hand and managed to hit the vampire in the back with it. The dust from the vampire floated slowly to the ground and made a little pile next to the waitress.

Having taken care of the vampires Spike turned his attention to the girl on the ground. She was wearing a short waitress uniform that had pulled up in the fall and revealed a good portion of creamy white thighs to Spikes delighted view. Her hair was long and dark red and pulled away from her face by two silver clips. She had a pretty face, with skin that was nearly paler than his own and lips that were luscious and a bright pinkish color. Her nose was small and straight with a turned up end that gave her a cute pixie type of look. He couldn't see her eyes because she was wearing a pair of dark sunglasses that were impossible to see through.

_Christ, only in LA do people wear sunglasses in the dark._ He thought bitterly, god he hated Los Angeles.

"You alright?" He asked.

The waitress gave him a shaky nod and rubbed her elbow, where she'd obviously fallen.

"Well glad you're ok, night." Spike muttered and turned to walk away, Angel no doubt would have personally escorted the lady to her car, but hell Spike wasn't going to turn into a boy scout just because he was working for good now.

"Wait, where did those guys go?" The waitress called out as she picked herself up off of the dirty ground.

Spike rolled his eyes and turned back around. He was so sick of the questions from people he helped.

_What was wrong with his face? Why did he bite me? How come he disappeared into a pile of dust? How did you get so strong and so brave and so handsome?_

Ok well the last question didn't come up as often as Spike would like, he admitted to himself. But seriously, why couldn't people just be happy that they weren't dead and leave it at that?

"Uh well they ran off remember?" He mumbled, it sounded lame even to himself, but hell it had all happened fast and with those dark sunglasses on, she probably couldn't see shit anyway.

The waitress raised one eyebrow over her glasses and gave Spike a look that seemed to say, _You're an idiot, _but she didn't reply.

Spike turned once more to walk away. "Hey wait a minute." The girl called again.

"Oh bloody hell! Look I helped ya out and you're ok so I'm just gonna leave and get on with my night." Spike snapped.

"I'm sorry, I was just wondering if you could help me find my cane. Those guys grabbed it and threw it somewhere back down the alley." She replied, sounding slightly taken aback and really mad at his rude outburst.

Cane? What the hell would she need a cane for, she was obviously walking just fine. Maybe it was the name of a new cell phone or some other technological crap that Spike had never seen a use for.

"Well if ya need to find you're damn cane so bad, maybe you should open your damn eyes and take a look around. Who the hell do you think I am, your personal man servant?" Spike snapped. "Taking off those damn sunglasses might help you see better, bein as its night outside, if you hadn't noticed!" He continued.

The waitress let out a short sarcastic laugh and put her hands on her hips, "Well being that I'm blind, I don't think taking off the glasses is going to make much difference in helping me see." She snapped angrily.

A/N- So I have written fan fiction in awhile and I've never ventured outside of the Firefly verse, but I actually had a dream that started out this way they other night, so I thought I'd give it a shot as a story. Hope you guys like it! Reviews make me happier than being mean to Angel makes Spike.


	2. Chapter 2

2

Spike's mouth dropped open in shock and watched the girl skeptically. No way a girl who had landed a kick the way she did could be blind.

Look just forget it I'll find the damn thing myself." She snapped.

She walked a few paces away from Spike, knelt down, and started feeling around on the ground in front of her.

Spike felt like the world's biggest asshole as he watched the blind girl feel around of her cane, which he now got she needed to get around. Damn! He hated feeling guilty about shit, one more lousy side effect of having a soul. But he had to admit that yelling at a blind girl who had nearly had her throat ripped out was a pretty big dick move, especially seeing as how the blind girl had helped him slay a vampire.

"Ah hell love, I didn't know. I'll help you." He said, trying to sound as nice as possible.

The girl raised one hand up behind her and flipped her middle finger to Spike as way of an answer. He looked up to the sky as if looking for help from above and then tried once more.

"Look I'm tryin to say I'm sorry alright? I'll find you're damn cane for you, but maybe you could have just a little bit less of an attitude, you think?"

The waitress stood up and turned so that she was facing in Spike's direction. "You really suck at apologizing you know that?"

Spike felt his anger grow once more, all of his remorse and pity disappearing quickly. "Hey I did save your life ya know? You could be just a little more thankful."

The girl sighed and then winced and rubbed her ribs like they were hurting her. "Ok you're right, I'm sorry too. Thank you for helping me with those two men."

Spike didn't reply and instead began walking around looking for the cane that the girl was missing. It only took him half a minute to find it, it probably would have taken her much longer to find it he realized and felt another twinge of pity for the girl. He could tell as soon as he picked it up that the cane was badly broken. It had snapped at three different points and hung at crooked angles.

"Uh I found your cane thing, but it's broken." Spike informed the girl and placed the broken cane in her hand.

She ran one hand up and down the cane and fingered the three broken points carefully as if she was hoping she'd be able to fix it. After only a few seconds she threw the broken cane into the garbage can and let out a groan of frustration.

"Well that's just fantastic, the perfect end to a perfect day." She muttered sarcastically to herself, Spike's sensitive vampire ears were able to pick up her mutterings perfectly.

Spike considered walking away again, but he didn't just want to leave the girl alone in an alley and she didn't seem to be going anywhere, in fact she was standing with a kind of panicked forlorn look on her face. Her bottom lip stuck out in a little bit of a pout and as much as Spike didn't want it to affect him, he could feel himself getting aroused.

"So um, you want me to go inside and get your boss or something? Maybe they could help you out or something." Spike offered.

The girl sighed and shook her head. "Well considering the asshole I use to work for just fired me while I was taking out the trash and then locked the door on me, I don't think he's going to help me out."

Spike felt anger swell in him at a man he didn't even know. Spike knew he wasn't one to point fingers at someone for being a wanker, but man firing a blind girl and then locking her out was low even to him.

"Oh, well this really isn't your night is it love?" Spike answered uncomfortably.

The girl nodded and wiped a stray tear away from her cheek. Spike could tell she was embarrassed to be crying.

"Alright, well how bout I help you out to the street and get you a cab?" Spike offered.

She shook her head and shoved her hands into her pockets. "No that's ok, I um don't really have money for a cab or anything."

Spike had spent his only cash on the beer, things had been so much easier when he was evil, then he could have just stolen a car or eaten the cabbie. He nodded in understanding at their crappy financial situations, but then remembered that she couldn't see him nodding.

"Sorry I don't have any money either." He replied.

"Look thanks for the help, but you've done enough for me, I'll find my own way home." She answered.

Spike watched as she reached out a hand and felt for the wall of the alley and then began making her way towards the street, using the wall as a guide. Too bad she couldn't see the wooden crate on the ground near her feet, Spike could see she was about to run straight into it. He hurried to her side and grabbed her shoulder to stop her from walking into the obstacle.

She jumped at his touch and spun around to face him. "Whoa, you're really fast, I didn't even hear you coming."

"Uh yeah, I'm like a bloody cat. You're about to walk into a box." He told her and helped guide her around the box.

"Oh well thanks again, you just seem to keep helping me don't you." She observed and then gave him a nod. "Night." She added and walked away.

Spike was really going to let her go this time, until he noticed about five other things in the alley that were going to trip her up. Plus what was she going to do when she got to the street?

Damn, why the hell was he worrying about some rutting blind girl and why did his stomach twist so uncomfortably when he saw her walking away?


	3. Chapter 3

3

Spike stood in the middle of the alley for a few more seconds before he hurried to the girl's side and grabbed her elbow.

"Look I'll walk you home. But I'm just doin this so you don't fall and break that pretty face, so don't go thinking its cause I'm a nice guy or anything." He warned her as he started to pull her down the alley.

The girl gave him a sideways grin, "I promise I won't go thinking you're a nice guy. Thanks again, by the way. You might be a jerk but you're kinda like my knight in shining armor. So you really think I'm pretty?"

Spike nearly stumbled and his mouth dropped open, "Yeah well you ain't so bad ya know?" He stammered.

She ducked her head and Spike could see a pleased blush spreading across her pale cheeks.

"Here it will be faster if you just let me hold on to you while we walk." She said and then reached her hand up to grasp his shoulder. Spike tried hard not to notice her long slender fingers or the fact that she was wearing some sort of perfume that smelled like apples.

"I'm Lucy by the way." She added.

"Spike." He replied gruffly.

"Spike huh? Interesting name." She giggled.

They walked in silence to the end of the alley, "Left or right?" Spike asked when they reached the road.

"Left for three blocks. I'm sorry it's kind of far, is that alright? She asked doubtfully once they'd started walking again.

"I got all night love, no worries." He assured her as he led them both around a piece of broken sidewalk.

"I like your coat by the way. I've always wanted a black leather duster." She said quietly.

"Thanks, I've had it awhile. Wait, how'd you know what kinda coat I'm wearin?" He asked suspiciously, was this chick having a go at him? Maybe she wasn't blind at all.

Lucy laughed and squeezed his shoulder gently. "Easy. I can tell its leather from the feel of it and the smell and I can tell it's a duster because I can hear it swooshing around by your boots." She explained.

"How'd ya know it's black?

Lucy laughed again and gave him another shoulder squeeze, "What other color coat would a guy named Spike wear?" She replied.

Spike laughed along with her. "Guess that's true. Alright we've gone three blocks, which way now?"

"Right for another six blocks." She directed.

Spike looked carefully for traffic before he led Lucy into the street. "Why in the hell do you live so far away from where you worked?" He asked as they continued on to her home.

"It was the only place I could afford that would actually take me. Most landlords down in this part of town don't like renting to blind people. They all thought I was going to light my apartment on fire or something." She explained and let out a short bitter laugh.

"Oh. Well then how come you didn't get a job closer to your apartment?" Spike questioned. He wasn't sure why he was pressing this girl for information, she was a total stranger after all, and he was rarely interested in learning about the people he was actually acquainted with.

"Well as hard as it is to get an apartment when you're blind, it's even harder to get a job. Especially when you haven't gone to college. Mike was the only person who offered me a job, but he only did it because no one else would take the late shift in this part of town and he didn't want to work nights anymore." She explained further, not seeming upset that Spike was prying into her personal life.

"That don't seem to fair. Don't they have associations or something to help out people like you?" He asked.

Lucy laughed a little and gave Spike's shoulder another gentle squeeze. "People like me huh? Boy you really aren't one for political correctness are you Spike?"

"Not really love, always believed people should just say whatever the hell they want." He answered.

"Sounds good to me, you have no idea how annoying it is always having people tip toe around me just because I can't see." She babbled angrily. "I mean it's like people think I'm going to break or something… Sorry you probably don't want to hear about all this." She said suddenly and snapped her mouth shut with an audible snap.

"Wasn't bothering me none, to tell you the truth. I sorta know where you're coming from. I had a uh- …condition recently, everybody was always not talking about it. They'd just sort of pretend it wasn't there, bloody biggest elephant in the room ever." Spike commiserated.

"Condition huh? Like a disease? It's not contagious is it?" She asked mockingly.

"No it wasn't contagious, just damned inconvenient. But I got all fixed up good as new." Spike quipped happily.

"That's good. Wish someone could fix me up good as new." She replied whistfully, but Spike noticed that there wasn't any bitterness in her voice.

They had walked the six blocks since they'd turned and Spike slowed down as they reached the corner.

"Alright it better be around here somewhere, cause I told you I'd walk you home not to Nevada." Spike joked.

"Right across the street, number thirteen-oh-eight." She instructed.

"There ain't any numbers on the buildings love, you wanna tell me what color the building is, we got a blue one, a brown one, and a brown one that I think used to be blue." He asked.

Lucy laughed and gave Spike's shoulder a soft smack. "Spike I have absolutely no idea what color the building is. It's the third one from the right, five stories tall with six steps going up to the door."

"Got it." Spike replied and pulled Lucy out into the empty street.

Lucy's building had a numerical button lock on the front door and Spike watched as her nimble fingers flew over the buttons to push the correct combination. Fast as she was it wasn't fast enough to stop him from catching it with his vampire eyes. He memorized the number quickly, not that he was planning on using it, or coming back anytime.

"Ok well thanks again for everything Spike." Lucy said quietly.

Spike wasn't sure if he was imagining it or not, but he could swear that she sounded disappointed to be saying goodbye to him. What was really surprising was that he was disappointed himself to say goodbye to her.

"Do you want to come up for a minute? I mean it was a long walk, maybe you want to get a glass of water or use the restroom or something?" She asked, suddenly sounding much shyer than the mouthy girl she'd been when vampires had been trying to kill her.

Spike wasn't sure if it was a good idea or not, but hell what else did he have to do? Go back to Wolfram and Hart and listen to Angel bitch? Suddenly hanging out with Lucy seemed even more appealing than it had the second before.

"Um yeah, I could use a drink of water, thanks." He lied smoothly and followed Lucy into the shabby building.

"You actually live here?" Spike asked in disbelief as they walked to the elevator. The whole place was a dirty brown color, the walls, the floor, even the lights were a dingy brown. The elevator looked as though it had been built before electricity had even been invented. He wondered how Lucy could stand to live in a place so depressing, until he thought about the fact that she couldn't see how depressing it was.

"Sorry Lucy but I'm not getting into that thing, it's a death trap!" He exclaimed and pointed at the elevator, even though Lucy couldn't see what he was pointing at.

"Don't worry my apartment is on the second floor, we can take the stairs." Lucy assured him and pulled him towards the stairs.

Spike followed behind Lucy and watched as she trailed her fingers along the peeling wallpaper. He couldn't stop thinking about her hands, they were beautiful. His mind was suddenly filled with the image of Lucy's beautiful white fingers wrapping around his cock, gripping it tightly as she moved her hand up and down. He was so engrossed in his fantasy that he didn't realize Lucy had stopped and he crashed straight into her, nearly knocking her to the ground. Using all of his vampire speed he managed to catch Lucy just before she hit the stained carpet.

"Ouch! Jeez I thought I was the blind one here, what the hell?" She exclaimed as he set her back onto her feet.

"Sorry love I was thinking about something." He explained.

Lucy walked into her apartment and then stopped when she didn't hear Spike follow her in.

"So are you just going to stand in my hallway all night?" She asked.

"Just trying to be a gentleman, thought I'd wait until you invited me in." Spike explained, using the same excuse he'd used many times before.

"Well why would ask you to come up if you weren't invited?" She asked.

Spike wasn't sure if that constituted an invite or not, but the invisible barrier that pushed at him when he tried to enter, told him that it wasn't.

"So are you going to invite me in or not?" Spike asked again.

"Man what are you a vampire? Can't come in unless you're invited?" She asked and laughed. "Fine Spike, please come in."

Lucy walked into her darkened living room when she heard Spike finally follow her into the apartment. It was so dark in the apartment that it was nearly pitch black, the darkness didn't bother Spike at all, he could see perfectly, but under the guise of being a human he figured he should ask for some light.

"So you wanna tell me where the lights are love? Don't think I get along in the dark quite as good as you do." He asked.

Lucy clapped a hand to her forehead, "Oh I'm sorry I didn't even think about that. They're just to the left of the door, but I don't even know if there are bulbs in the sockets or not, I'm sorry." She explained sounding embarrassed.

It seemed strange to Spike that she didn't know if the lights worked, sure she couldn't use them, but every person she had over couldn't be blind like her.

"No worries love." Spike assured her and flipped on the light. There was one good bulb in the overhead light, although it was such a low wattage and the light cover was so dirty that the illumination in the room was little more than a brown glow near the ceiling.

"Did it work?" Lucy asked sounding concerned.

"Worked like a charm love, it's as bright as a noon day in here." He assured her.

A large relieved grin graced Lucy's face. The two stood in the small living room facing each other, in an uncomfortable silence, neither sure what to say.

"So do you want some water? Or maybe something to eat?" Lucy asked suddenly and hurried into her tiny excuse for a kitchen. She pulled open the refrigerator and ran her hands over the various bottles that lined the door. "Or I have juice, or tea, or beer…"

"Beer sounds great." Spike interrupted.

Lucy nodded and pulled two bottles of beer from the fridge, she opened both with a bottle opener and handed one to Spike. She tilted her beer up and gulped down half of it in a few seconds. Spike raised one eyebrow and gave Lucy an impressed smirk.

_Now that's how you drink a beer._ He thought, becoming more impressed with her all the time.

Lucy stopped drinking and gave Spike a sheepish look. "Sorry I'm a little nervous, I don't have people over to my apartment very often, or ever actually if I'm being honest."

"You don't invite your friends or your family over?" Spike asked.

He could tell instantly that it had been the wrong question to ask. Lucy's face twisted into a dark mask of pain and even without being able to see her eyes behind the glasses, Spike knew that her eyes had filled with tears. The look vanished almost as soon as it appeared and Lucy finished off the rest of her beer swiftly.

"I don't have anybody." She whispered, more to herself than him and pushed past Spike so that she could leave the kitchen.

"You don't have anybody?" Spike asked, disbelieving. He just couldn't grasp how someone like her could be all alone in the world and somebody like him had more people in his life than he wanted.

Lucy's face crumbled again for an instant before the indifferent mask reappeared. She felt her way over to her sofa and sat down slowly, but didn't answer his question. He could see her shoulder's shaking with silent tears.

"I'm sorry Lucy I shouldn't have intruded, I didn't mean to upset you." Spike whispered and took a seat on the couch next to her.

He shook his head when he heard the soothing tone of his own voice, he wasn't sure just when he'd turned into such a nancy boy, but he thought this girl was having a lot to do with it. He wasn't sure if it would be alright for him to hug her, not that he was the huggy type of guy to begin with, but she really looked like she needed a hug. He wrapped one arm around her quivering shoulders and gave them a gentle squeeze. Lucy sighed quietly and leaned into his arm. Since she seemed ok with that he put his other arm around her and pulled her closer to his body. Without warning Lucy's arms were wrapped tightly around Spike's neck and she buried her face into the crook of his neck. Spike allowed himself to relax into the hug and buried his face into her hair and inhaled the scent of apples deeply into his lungs.

Suddenly Lucy pushed herself away from Spike and jumped away from the couch. She backed up so quickly that she hit her own coffee table and fell to the ground. Her face was a mask of horror and when Spike stood up to help her she scrambled away from him.

"I'm sorry Lucy, I shouldn't have hugged you. I wasn't trying to scare you or nothing love." He began.

"What's wrong with you?" She whispered in a shaky voice.

"I was just trying to make you feel better. I wasn't going to hurt you." Spike protested, not sure why the girl would be so upset by a simple hug.

"That's not what I mean." She whispered, still looking terrified. "Your heart, it's not beating. What the hell are you?"


	4. Chapter 4

I don't own Angel or any of the characters in it or Buffy, only the OC characters are mine, everything else belongs too Joss.

So this story does have an M rating, but just thought I'd put a warning that there will be some graphic stuff of a sexual nature coming up in the next chapter or two. There you've been warned.

4

_Bloody fucking hell._ Spike thought and groaned to himself.

Here he was fantasizing about hand jobs and getting all mushy over the smell of her shampoo and he hadn't even thought about the fact that she might notice things like his lack of a pulse.

"Ok Lucy calm down and I'll explain. Unless you want me to leave, then I can do that." He offered.

Lucy seemed to be calming down, she shrugged and picked herself up off the floor. She looked intrigued but didn't sit down next to Spike again.

"No you don't have to leave, but I sure as fuck want an explanation about why you are alive when your heart isn't beating." She demanded.

Spike ran a finger through his platinum hair and stood up from the couch, he began pacing the length of the small living room. Lucy turned her body with him as he paced listening to his heavy footsteps and keeping him in front of her at all times.

"Alright, here's the thing…" He began and then stopped and paced a little more.

"Ok the thing is…" He tried again and then stopped once more.

"Spike I'm freaked out already, so whatever it is, why don't you just spit it out." Lucy suggested, not sounding quite as upset as she had just a minute before.

"Alright, remember when we came upstairs and I wanted you to invite me in, you made a joke bout me being a vampire, well you weren't wrong about that love." Spike revealed and waited to see if Lucy was going to scream, or laugh, or run from the room.

Lucy did none of the things he'd expected, she simply crossed her arms over her chest and nodded for him to continue. Spike dropped back down onto the couch and took out a cigarette.

"Care if I smoke?" He asked.

Lucy held out one hand, "Can I have one?" She moved over and sat again on the couch next to him and he handed her a cigarette. After lighting hers and his own, Spike took a long drag, blew out the smoke and watched as Lucy did the same.

"You know you shouldn't smoke love. It's bad for you." Spike reprimanded.

Lucy snorted with laughter. "Oh guess you don't have to worry about cancer do you, what with you being a vampire and all."

"You don't believe me do you?" Spike asked.

Lucy stopped smoking and felt around on the table for the ash tray, Spike grabbed her hand holding the cigarette and positioned it over the ash tray. She nodded her thanks and then shrugged her shoulders.

"No I think I actually do believe you. I mean you don't have a freaking pulse, but you're here talking to me and smoking, so I guess vampire makes about as much sense as anything else." She answered. "So are you allowed to tell me about being a vampire or is there some sort of vampire police that'll come get you?"

Spike laughed at the idea of vampire police, but then thought that it described Angel fairly accurately.

"You sure you wanna hear about all this love? It ain't a pretty world I live in and once you learn about this stuff it changes you, forever." He warned.

"Look around Spike, do you think I'm living in the prettiest of worlds anyway? I think I can handle whatever you've got to tell me." Lucy remarked and gestured around her shabby apartment.

"Alright love, you asked for it." Spike began.

He told Lucy everything about his long life, the evil he'd done and the good he was trying to do to make up for it. He didn't leave any parts of it out, not Buffy or his feelings for her, not his death or subsequent resurrection. He talked straight through the night. He couldn't stop wondering why he was bothering to tell his life story to a human woman he'd only known for a few hours, but somehow it felt right. He felt lighter than he had since he'd come back from the dead.

Lucy listened with rapt attention to Spike's story, only interrupting occasionally to ask a question or to get them another couple of beers.

"So you use to be evil, but now you have a soul and you're good now?" Lucy asked once he'd finally wound down.

"Well I don't know if I'm good, but I'm trying to be." Spike replied.

"But you don't kill people anymore right?" She pressed further. "I mean you aren't going to kill me or anything right?"

"Trust me love if I was gonna kill you, you'd be dead already."

Lucy seemed to consider that for a few seconds and then nodded her head and gave Spike a grin. "Ok cool." She replied simply.

"How come you aren't freaked out? Most girls woulda run screaming from the room by now." Spike asked after seeing how easily she accepted all that he'd told her.

"Well you said you aren't going to kill me and so far all you've done is help me so why should I be freaked out?" Lucy reasoned.

She gave Spike another bright smile and then jumped up and headed to the kitchen. "Damn I'm out of beers." She called and then walked back into the living room.

She stopped directly in a slant of early morning sunlight that was shining through the window and stretched, raising her arms above her head and yawning widely. Spike felt himself grow hard as he watched her shirt pull up to reveal a sleek white stomach and the smallest hint of a blue tattoo peeking out from the waist band of her jeans.

His arousal was cut short when Lucy suddenly gasped in pain and grabbed her side. Spike realized that she had to be sore from her brush with the vampires and he felt bad that he hadn't offered to take a look at her injuries sooner.

"You know love, I've got some experience patchin up injuries, you should have let me know you were hurting." Spike admonished gently.

"I'm ok, just a few bumps and bruises, trust me I've had worse just walking into things on my own." Lucy said quickly.

"How bout you let me take a look and make sure you're ok." Spike offered. "It would make me feel better." He added when he could tell she was going to refuse his offer.

She bit her lip and looked nervous, but nodded reluctantly and sat down on the couch next to Spike.

"Ok love, just tell the doctor where it hurts." Spike joked, trying to ease the uncomfortable look from her.

"My side is pretty sore." She admitted and pulled up the side of her shirt so that he could have a look at her ribs.

A dark blue bruise spread across her skinny ribs and around to her back. It stood out starkly from her pale skin and Spike winced in sympathy when he thought about how painful it probably was.

"This just ain't some little bump, pet, you should have let me know you were hurt a long time ago." Spike admonished gently.

"I'm fine Spike, really don't worry about me." She insisted and pulled her shirt back down to cover the angry looking mark.

"You really don't like people taking care of you, do you love?" He asked gently.

Her brow furrowed and she pulled herself back from Spike's reach. "I'm just not use to it I guess."

Spike didn't push her to talk anymore and instead proceeded to check out the rest of her for any further injuries. Besides the bruise to her ribs she had skinned both of her palms and one knee and Spike could also see that her left cheek was beginning to bruise and swell just beneath her dark glasses. Using paper towels from the kitchen he cleaned up the blood and dirt from her hands and knee, Lucy waited patiently as Spike patched her up, but she still looked as if he were giving her a root canal, she was so uncomfortable.

Spike returned from the kitchen once more with a towel filled with ice and held it up to her swollen cheek.

"Here this would be easier if you took these off." Spike remarked and moved to lift the dark glasses from her face.

Lucy jumped away from Spike as if she'd been burned and slapped his hand away from the glasses. "Don't!" She shouted in a panicked voice.

"Sorry love, I was just trying to help." Spike explained.

"I'm sorry Spike, I just don't ever take my glasses off in front of anyone. It freaks people out, so I just don't let anyone see." She explained in a quivering voice.

Spike gently put one arm around Lucy's shoulders and waited to see if she would pull away or not. When she didn't Spike pulled her a little closer and rubbed her arm comfortingly.

"Love, looks to me like you're getting one hell of a black eye, we need to get some ice on it, before it swells up too much more. Trust me it's going to hurt like a bitch if we don't get some ice on it soon." He explained gently.

Lucy looked torn for a few seconds and then nodded and pulled her dark glasses off, but kept her eyes squeezed shut tightly. Spike could see a dark bruise under her right eye and without the glasses he could see that her cheek was swollen even more than he'd originally thought. He gently brushed a thumb across her brow and put the ice against her cheek.

"You need to keep that on there for a bit love, you might as well stop squeezing your eyes shut fore you give yourself a headache. Don't worry bout showing me, I don't freak out easy." He urged gently.

Lucy let out a pained breath, but finally relaxed and allowed her eyes to peek open. Spike hadn't been sure what to expect, but her eyes were definitely nothing like what he'd imagined. Both eyes were a striking color of blue, but a blue so bright that anyone who looked at them would know they weren't normal. There was also no black center to her eyes at all, the pure crystal blue was completely solid. Spike could see how some people might find her eyes off putting, but he thought they were incredible.

"Don't know what you were worrying about love, those are beautiful." He whispered.

Spike watched as a myriad of emotions crossed Lucy's face, she went from looking doubtful and frightened to happy and hopeful in just a few seconds.

"Really?" She asked quietly.

"Really." He assured her and again rubbed his fingers across her brow and then through her hair.

Lucy sighed at his touch and leaned into his hand. Spike could tell how much just a little affection meant to her and it made him sad that she seemed to be so very alone in her life. After a few seconds Lucy raised a hand to Spike's cheek and brushed her fingers down to his jaw line. Her nimble fingers traced along the contour of his jaw and then up to trace his other features, she finished by brushing her fingers over his lips.

"You're really handsome." She remarked when she'd finished her exploration.

"Not telling me anything I didn't know already love." He quipped.

Lucy ran her finger along Spike's lower lip once again. "Your skins so cold." She whispered.

"Room temperature love, sorry body heats one thing you don't get from a dead man."

Moving slowly Spike ran one hand inside of Lucy's shirt and placed his cool hand on her bruised ribs. She sighed with pleasure and scooted closer to Spike. "That feels good."

She continued to trace her finger along his lips. Spike felt his cock grow hard and press against his jeans uncomfortably. He drew in a shuddering breath and tried to calm himself down, he was supposed to be doing good now and he wasn't sure if screwing a lonely blind girl who he barely knew would fall into the category of good. Lucy's hand drifted away from his lips and trailed down his chest. She reached under his shirt and began exploring the tight muscles of his stomach and chest with her sensitive fingers, using them to see what her eyes couldn't. Spike grabbed her wrist softly and stopped her movements.

"Maybe we shouldn't be doing this Lucy, we just met, I don't want to be taken advantage of you." He protested.

Lucy laughed and bit her bottom lip, the simple move made Spike even harder.

"I'm a big girl Spike, if I didn't want to be doing this with you I wouldn't be. Trust me you aren't taking advantage." She answered and then slid over so that she was straddling his lap.

Spike nearly lost all control of himself when she climbed onto his lap. Her pelvic bone rubbed enticingly against his erection and he could feel the heat of her warming his cock even through their clothes. She moved closer to Spike so that their lips were nearly touching, but she didn't kiss him, she just waited patiently for him to make his decision.

Heaving a deep sigh, Spike decided to stop fighting and finally pressed his lips tightly to hers.

A/N- So this story hasn't gotten very many reviews and I'm not sure if it's because I'm not capturing Spike or if the story just isn't that good, so any feeback ya'll could give me would be great, even if it's bad feedback. Thanks!


	5. Chapter 5

5

Grinning wickedly Spike grasped Lucy's hips and using them flipped her over and to the side so that she was lying across the couch with his body stretched out above her. She giggled excitedly, lifted her hips and ground her crotch against Spike's bulging erection, making him groan in frustration. It was when Lucy reached for Spike's zipper that he grasped her hand and slowed her movements.

"Ain't no rush love, we got all day." He whispered and then pressed his lips against hers' forcing her lips open with his tongue.

Soon their kissing became more heated and Spike was enjoying the sensation so much that he almost forgot about doing anything else with her, he wasn't sure there was any other time in his long life when he'd actually forgotten about having sex. Spike lay against Lucy's side with one leg draped over her legs and one long arm trailing off the couch and onto the floor as he slowly explored her mouth with his own, relishing the feel of her tongue as it massaged his expertly.

_God she's a damn good kisser!_ He thought as she rolled her tongue against his top lip and then pulled his bottom lip into her mouth with her teeth, biting it a little as she did so.

A sudden flaring burst of heat and pain shocked Spike out of his arousal. He jumped up from the couch and into the corner of the room so fast that even if Lucy could see she wouldn't have been able to follow his movements. Spike cradled his burned hand in the other hand and let out an angry hiss at the patch of sunlight which had moved across the floor in the last hour until it had burned him.

Lucy sat up and turned her head around in confusion. "Spike? What's wrong?" She asked in a panicked voice. Her nose twitched a little as she sniffed the air and a questioning look crossed her face. "Why does it smell like burning in here?" She asked.

"Guess I forgot how late in the day its getting. Damn sunlight is coming through the window, my hand got in the way." He explained and then made his way back over to the couch, carefully stepping around the offending patch of light.

Lucy reached her hand to the edge of the sofa until she could feel the warm sunlight on the back of her hand. "Wow you really are a vampire." She remarked with wonder.

"Well yeah, thought we were past this conversation." Spike snapped, still feeling grumpy that they'd been interrupted.

"No I know that and I believe you, I guess it just got a lot more real or something." She explained as she scooted closer so that she could curl up against Spike's side. "Is your hand alright?"

Spike checked the back of his hand and saw that the burns had healed already leaving only a slight red mark that would soon disappear as well. "Just fine darling, fast healing is one of the perks of bein undead."

Lucy rubbed her thumb across his hand and then pulled it up so that she could kiss the back of it. "There now it's all better." She whispered.

"Sorry I interrupted what we were doing, lord knows I was enjoying it." He said and pulled Lucy in for another kiss.

Very soon both of them were lost in each other again and reluctantly Spike had to pull back. "Love, that sun is moving fast, if we don't move soon, you're going to end up kissing a pile of ashes."

"My bedroom only has one window in it and I've got it covered up with a blanket, so I don't think the sun can get it." Lucy suggested.

Spike's face broke into a wide grin and he quickly scooped Lucy into his arms and headed down the short hallway that led to a tiny bedroom. Spike surveyed the small bedroom as he stood in the doorway with Lucy cradled in his arms. Her bed was a simple twin mattress and box springs which were placed on the floor without the benefit of a bed frame or headboard. On the wall opposite the bed was a small closet with a broken door which hung crookedly from its hinges. Other than the bed and closet the only other things in the room were huge piles of books. They lined the walls in stacks some of them reaching as high as Spike's chest, he could even make out stacks of books on the floor of the closet.

"So I'm guessing you like to read then love?" Spike asked as he moved into the room and set Lucy down on the bed.

Lucy's cheeks blushed furiously and she gave him a sheepish smile. "Yeah, I guess you could say that." She admitted with an embarrassed laugh.

Spike was getting ready to tease her more about the library in her room, but suddenly Lucy pulled her shirt off, revealing a red lacy bra, making her pale skin even whiter and enhancing her cleavage beautifully. Spike had to swallow a few times before he was able to move or speak. He was so quite that Lucy actually looked nervous and thought that maybe he'd left the room.

"Spike?" She asked uncertainly and reached out a hand to feel for him.

"Right here love." He answered, suddenly at her side, using his vampire speed once again to move faster than she expected.

She was startled to find him so close suddenly and jumped when he spoke. "You know you're way to quite, usually I can tell where people are by listening to their breathing or heartbeats, but with you its' like you're not even there. Maybe I should put a bell on you, like a cat." She suggested.

"Hey whatever works for you love, if cats are your thing I think I can manage that, I'll even meow for ya if you want." He joked.

"Spike there are a lot of things I want from you and none of them include animal noises." She growled in a low husky voice, which instantly brought Spike's erection back with painful ferocity.

Lucy lay back on the bed and pulled down Spike with her, pulling his shirt off in the same motion. He moved his mouth to her ear and sucked gently on the lobe making her suck in a sharp breath. Moving slowly he trailed kisses down her neck and shoulders until he reached her lace covered breast. Lifting her gently with one arm he snaked the other arm around her back and expertly unclasped the bra with one hand. Lucy pulled the bra off and tossed it onto the floor, she then lay back down so that Spike could look at her all he wanted. Once he'd had his fill of staring at her round firm breasts he gently sucked her right nipple into his mouth and swirled his tongue around it, Lucy's breathing sped up and she let out a little moan which made Spike smile.

He could hear her heart pounding furiously in her chest and the smell of her hot blood was suddenly overwhelming. His mouth watered at the thought of her blood, but he pushed the thought to the back of his mind and instead concentrated on the moment at hand. It was made easier to concentrate when Lucy grasped his belt and unbuckled it. Moving quickly Spike slipped out of his pants and then pulled Lucy's off as well.

He nearly lost all control when he saw that she wasn't wearing any underwear under her jeans, she moved her hands down to remove his underwear and smiled delightedly to discover that like her he also went commando.

With a swiftness that surprised him Lucy wrapped one leg around his hips and flipped him over so that she was on top of him. She then pulled both of his arms above his head and held them there with one of her hands.

"You mind? I kinda like being in charge." She whispered and then leaned over to bite his neck hard enough to hurt a little but not hard enough to break the skin.

Spike couldn't believe he'd managed to find such a woman, he loved it when a woman knew what she wanted in bed. Plus a little pain with his pleasure was a turn on like he couldn't believe. "You can be in charge all ya like love." He replied.

With a wicked grin Lucy lowered herself onto Spike's cock, moving so slowly that it was nearly torture, but one that Spike wasn't going to complain about. Once she had taken all of him into her she gave him one more wicked grin before she began riding him, starting slowly and then building to a furious rhythm. Spike looked up at her in amazement before grabbing her luscious ass and hanging on as she continued to ride him. He loved watching her build towards climax and felt himself orgasm at the same time that she did.

Lucy fell forward onto Spike's chest and breathed heavily, trying to slow her racing heart. Spike wrapped both of his hands into her long red hair and pulled her face up to kiss her.

"My God love, I don't even need air and that still took my breath away. Didn't know I could get this exhausted without somethin big and bad tryin to kill me." Spike chuckled.

Lucy looked up at him and gave him another one of those adorable pouts that turned him on so much.

"Oh so does that mean you aren't up for doing it again?" She asked with mock sadness.

Spike laughed and moving quickly he flipped Lucy over so that she was pinned under him. "Alright but this time I'm in charge."


	6. Chapter 6

6

Two hours later Spike lay sprawled on the tiny bed next to Lucy and watched as she slept. She was lying on her back with one arm stretched up above her head. He lightly brushed his finger down her arm and across her breast watching goose bumps rise up from his cool touch. She frowned in her sleep and shivered. Spike carefully untangled himself from her and covered her with a blanket to warm her up.

Once he was out of bed he wasn't quite sure what to do with himself. He stepped over to one of the large stacks of books next to her bed and picked the top one up to examine it. Flipping it open he found that it was in Braille and felt stupid that he hadn't figured that out earlier. He wasn't too disappointed, he wasn't big on reading anyway.

He left the bedroom and wandered out to the kitchen and opened the fridge, but then remembered that Lucy had already told him she was out of beer. He shut the fridge and stood in the middle of the kitchen, not sure what to do with himself. It was only ten in the morning and since the sun was shining brightly into the living room he couldn't even go sit on the couch and he definitely couldn't leave the apartment, not that he was planning on leaving without saying goodbye anyway.

A sudden knock on the door interrupted Spike's thoughts and he looked quickly down the hall to see if the knocking had awakened Lucy. She had turned over so that all he could see was the back of her head, but she didn't seem to be moving so he figured the noise hadn't disturbed her. He didn't want to wake her up, but he wasn't sure if he should open the door and he hoped that whoever was outside would just go away on their own. But another knock, more insistent than the first, dashed those hopes and he made up his mind to open the door and take a message for Lucy.

Spike pulled the door open a crack, using the door to block the fact that he was buck naked and peered into the hallway. A short pudgy man stood peering up at him holding a clipboard in one hand. He was balding with a bad greasy comb over and was wearing clothes that would have looked good on an elderly pimp.

"Lucy here?" The man asked as he looked Spike up and down and then let out a loud phlegmy cough.

"She's sleepin, I can take a message for her if you want." Spike offered warily.

"She owes me rent, wake her ass up." The short smelly man grumbled.

"She had a long night, I'm not waking her up. I'll tell her you stopped by." Spike snapped and moved to shut the door in the guy's face.

The man stuck one foot in the door and stopped Spike from closing it all the way. Spike had to fight the urge not to just slam the door shut with the dick's foot still in the door jam.

"Hey buddy, she's two weeks late as it is and she promised me she'd have the money by this morning. I want my money now or her ass is on the street!" The smelly man shouted.

Spike opened the door fully and stood naked in front of the short man, towering over him by at least half a foot. He took a menacing step forward and watched the little man flinch away from him, although Spike couldn't be sure if he was uncomfortable by his size and impressive physic or by his cock.

"Look the lady had a rough night, she got fired and attacked by a couple of asswipes. Now I'll tell her you stopped by." Spike hissed through clenched teeth as he balled both of his hands into fists.

The guy considered Spike for another few seconds before he finally backed away from the door.

"You know I'm done with this shit, you tell that fucking blind girl to pack up her shit, I want her out by tomorrow morning!" He snarled and stomped away down the hall.

Spike thought about going after him and forcing him to let Lucy stay, if he had to use violence to get the message across it would be even better. But taking one more look around the filthy hallway changed his mind.

_Lucy shouldn't be living in a shit hole like this anyway._ He thought as he stepped back into the apartment and closed the door.

Spike figured Angel would go ape shit to help a poor blind victim of a vampire attack out, especially one who looked as waifish as Lucy did. He'd probably have her enrolled in college by Thursday Spike figured. Plus Fred would go nuts having another girl about and judging by the amount of books Lucy had she and Fred could talk about all sorts of brainy things together.

Having made the decision to take Lucy to Wolfram and Hart as soon as it got dark out Spike walked back into the bedroom and curled up next to Lucy to try and get a little shut eye.

The first thing that Lucy thought when she woke up was that she had dreamed the whole thing, she lay perfectly still and listened to her room, hoping to hear some noise from Spike. She let out a sad disappointed breath when the only thing she heard was her own shaky breathing and the dull thumping of her heartbeat.

"Hey you're finally awake." Spike suddenly said from right beside her and Lucy jumped again.

"You have to stop doing that!" She shouted and playfully smacked out at him.

"Sorry love, but I've been going out of my mind, you don't have a tv do you know that?!" Spike replied.

"Yeah well tvs cost money, plus it's not like I can exactly watch one." She argued.

"And all your books are in Braille." Spike continued, not ready to be done pouting about his boredom.

Lucy laughed and climbed out of bed. Spike was delighted when she stretched and he was given a spectacular view of her tight butt and muscular legs.

"I thought maybe you were going to leave when I fell asleep." She admitted as she pulled a white t-shirt over her head.

Spike stood up and gave Lucy a hug from behind wrapping his arms around her and grinding his crotch against her butt.

"Why would I do that? I think I want a repeat of this morning, if that's ok with you." He answered.

Lucy nodded and pressed herself more tightly against him. "Sounds good to me. God I'm starving! We should go get something to eat." She suggested and pulled away from Spike so that she could finish getting dressed.

"Sorry love but I think I'm stuck here for awhile longer, seeing as how the sun is still out and all." Spike replied and flopped back down onto the bed.

Lucy pushed a button on the watch she was wearing and a quiet mechanical voice informed them both that it was 3:17pm.

"Ok well you wait here and I'll go get us something to eat." She amended. "I just have to try and avoid my douche bag landlord, he wants his rent."

"Uh yeah bout that um, he kind of came by earlier, I didn't want to wake you up. He kind of evicted you." Spike admitted. "Sorry."

Lucy turned around and stared in Spike's direction, although she was looking a few inches to his left than straight at him. "What? He evicted me? What did you say to him?"

"Hey I just offered to give you a message and he got all pissy. Then I kinda threatened him and well he said you had to move out by tomorrow morning." Spike admitted.

Lucy threw her hands into the air and let out an exasperated groan. "So now I have no job and no place to live, great, that's just so freaking great!" She shouted.

Spike walked over to her and put his hands on her shoulders, "Look I already thought of something so no worries, love."

Lucy looked skeptical, "What did you think of?" She asked suspiciously.

"I was thinking maybe we could go talk to Angel. I mean he's got this big old law firm now, he's got money coming out of his ass, he could help you out." Spike offered.

Lucy pulled away from Spike's embrace and walked into her living room, he could only follow her as far as the hallway because of the afternoon sunlight spilling in from the windows. He stopped and watched as she paced in her tiny living room.

"I'm not a charity case Spike! I'm not just going to go ask your boss for money." She shouted at him.

"Why not I tell him to give me money all the time? Plus he loves this type of crap, helping the helpless and all that. It's what he lives for love." Spike argued. "And he is not my bloody fucking boss!" He added.

Lucy let out an angry yell and threw a pillow from the couch in Spike's direction. It didn't hit him, but for a blind girl Spike thought she had fairly good aim.

"I. Am. NOT. HELPLESS!" She screamed.

Spike flinched at her angry words and wondered why he was so bad at talking to this girl. "Lucy…" He tried.

"You don't even know me Spike! Why do you think you get any say in what I do with my life?" She continued. "I want you to get out of my apartment, now!" She screeched and pointed towards the door.

"Ok love, but the suns out. I guess I could wait in the hall till dark or something, but can I at least have a blanket so I can get to the door without bursting into flames?" He asked quietly.

His words seemed to take the fight out of Lucy, she slumped down on her couch and put her head into her hands. "Wait Spike stop, I don't want you to leave. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have yelled at you like that, you were just trying to help."

"Love you want to come back to the bedroom so we can talk about this, without me stuck in the hallway?" He asked.

She nodded and followed him into the bedroom and then flopped down on her bed. Spike sat down next to her and pulled her over so that her head was resting on his shoulder.

"It wouldn't be charity love, I was thinking maybe he could give you a job or something." Spike explained.

Lucy nodded against his shoulder and snuggled closer to him. "Do you think they'll all like me, Fred and Wesley and everyone else you told me about?"

"They're sure as hell going to love you more than they love me." He joked.

"Aren't you sleeping with that Harmony girl? The one who is a vampire too? She probably won't like me much." Lucy pointed out.

"Yeah well Harmony is evil, so it won't matter much. Just buy her some unicorn shit, you won't be able to get rid of her, trust me." He retorted.

"Ok I guess maybe if Angel could give me a job that would be great." She finally conceded.

"So what was that you were saying about food earlier? Food and maybe beer?" He asked.

Lucy rubbed her hands over her eyes and jumped up from the bed. "Ok you wait here, and by here I mean naked in bed, and I'll be back in twenty minutes." She instructed and then proceeded to stick her tongue so far down Spike's throat he was pretty sure she could feel his tonsils.

"Yes ma'am I'll be right here waiting, naked as the day I was born." Spike joked and gave Lucy a mock salute and then felt stupid when he realized she couldn't see it.

"Wait a minute love, how are you going to go to the store if your cane thingy is broken?" Spike asked with concern.

"I have a spare Spike, don't worry. " She assured him and then felt inside of her closet for a second and pulled out another white cane, which she then unfolded.

"I'll be back soon." She promised.

Spike watched appreciatively as she walked down the hall, he couldn't get over how shapely her ass looked in her jean. He was horny just from watching her walk.

"Stop staring at my ass!" Lucy called as she walked out the door.

Spike fell back on the bed and laughed, wondering just how in the hell she had known he'd been staring.


	7. Chapter 7

7

Spike let out a low growl of appreciation as Lucy leaned back in the tiny shower and let the hot water run down her face and over her breasts. He stepped behind her and let the water warm up his room temperature skin so that when he held her she wouldn't get cold. Once his hands had warmed up he filled one palm with the apple scented shampoo that he loved so much and worked it into her long red hair. Lucy moaned in ecstasy and had to put a hand on the wall to steady herself.

"Oh God you are so good at that." She whispered.

After rinsing her hair thoroughly Lucy bent over with a razor and began shaving her legs. It was such a sensuous act that Spike nearly came just watching her drag the sharp blade against her pale skin.

"Ouch damn it!" Lucy yelled suddenly and dropped the razor.

Spike looked down to see a thin line of red blood coloring Lucy's pale leg. Tiny drops of blood splattered down onto the shower floor and swirled down the drain with the water. Spike's mouth watered involuntarily when the tangy scent of the blood hit his nostrils. He tried hard to control the urge to change, but he could feel his vampire face take over despite his best efforts. He whipped away from Lucy and pressed his face against the cold tile, forgetting that she wouldn't be able to see his vamp face anyway.

"Spike? What's wrong?" Lucy asked after she felt Spike move away from her so quickly.

"Nothing Lucy, just needed some air." Spike whispered and was horrified to hear the change in his voice that came with his vampire state.

"You don't breathe Spike." Lucy reminded. "Please tell me what's wrong." She begged and put a hand to his shoulder, trying to turn him back towards her.

"It's just the blood Lucy, the smell of it." He explained in short jerky words.

Lucy gasped and clapped a hand against the bleeding wound in her leg. "I'm sorry Spike. You must be so hungry, you've been here since yesterday." She babbled sounding like his hunger was entirely her fault.

"I'm fine Lucy, gone longer than this without feeding many times before love. It's just the smell of human blood is ahard to ignore since I stopped drinking it. Especially when I'm hungry." He explained with his face still pressed against the wall of the shower.

"Why won't you turn around? Is something else wrong?" She asked beginning to sound scared.

"Just don't want you to see me like this." He mumbled, her blindness still hadn't occurred to him.

"Well I don't think that's going to be a problem Spike." She chuckled trying to make light of the situation.

Spike whipped back around and was relieved to feel his face turn back to normal. "Sorry love, I wasn't thinking about you not being able to see."

Lucy put a hand to his face and rubbed his cheek affectionately. "Good, I'm glad you don't just think of me as some blind girl."

"Think a lot more of you than just that love." He assured her.

"So what does it look like?" She asked, abruptly changing the subject. "Your face I mean when you go all vampirey."

"You don't want to know, makes me look like the monster I am." He answered truthfully.

"I don't think you're a monster Spike. Please can I see? I want to know all of you." She asked and put a hand to his face again.

Sighing but unwilling to deny Lucy her request Spike closed his eyes and then allowed the demon in him to come to the surface. He winced when he heard Lucy gasp as she felt his demon face. Her fingers moved lightly across his forehead and then moved down to his mouth where she used her fingertips to feel the sharp points of his fangs.

"Wow, that's kind of cool." She whispered in a breathless voice.

Spike let out a disbelieving huff of air and pulled his face away from Lucy's reach. "It's not cool. It's the face of a killer."

"It was the face of a killer, that's not who you are anymore." She replied with absolute assurance.

Spike gathered Lucy into his arms and pulled them both under the hot spray of water. "How can you have so much confidence in me, when you've only known me for a day?"

"It's easy, you saved my life. Plus you have a kind voice, I can tell just from listening to you talk that you're a good man." She answered simply and then clasped her hands around the back of his head so that she could pull him down to her face and kiss him.

"If you drink my blood will I become a vampire?" Lucy asked with her face nuzzled into Spike's neck so that her voice was a little muffled.

"No love it don't work like that." He answered, slightly confused.

"Do you want to?" She asked innocently.

Spike tensed up, "Well yeah, I would like to, but I won't."

"Why not?" Lucy asked curiously.

"Well cause it wouldn't be right. I mean it would be wrong." Spike babbled, not really sure what kind of an answer to give her, he'd never had a human ask him that question before.

"You can if you want to. I don't mind." She offered.

"No, I don't want to hurt you." He refused shaking his head and pulling away from their embrace.

"I'm already hurt." She pointed out and lifted her bleeding calf up to illustrate her point. "I don't want you to be hungry, it's alright it doesn't bother me."

Spike sighed and felt his resolve wavering. "You sure bout this love? It ain't exactly normal."

"Well I don't think we're exactly normal either." She reasoned. "I don't want you to be hungry, especially when I can do something about it."

Spike sucked in a sharp breath of air, although he didn't actually need it. Slowly he sank to his knees and grasped her bleeding leg in his hands. Because of the hot water the small wound was still bleeding freely and his stomach twisted painfully as blood dripped across his fingers. He lowered his head very cautiously, giving Lucy ample time to change her mind if she wanted to. Finally his lips made contact with her smooth creamy flesh and closed over the tiny cut. Her blood flowed into his mouth and over his tongue and nearly made him swoon with the intensity of the pleasure. God animal blood just couldn't compare to the taste of human, not even Otter. He was careful not to take too much, he didn't want her fainting, but he did take enough to calm the raging hunger in his stomach.

After a few minutes he pulled away reluctantly and licked one last smear of blood from his lips. Warily, he glanced up at Lucy, afraid that she would have a horrified look on her face. To his relief her eyes were half closed and she had a small dreamy smile on her lips.

"Wow that was kind of sexy." She whispered.

"That didn't freak you out?" Spike asked as he stood up and pulled them both back into the water.

"No, it felt nice knowing I was helping you." She replied.

"You are one strange bird, Lucy… Hey love, what's your last name?" He asked.

Lucy laughed and ran a hand through his hair. "Um, it's Valentine actually. Don't laugh, people always laugh."

"Lucy Valentine huh? I like it, it suits you love." Spike assured her.

"What about you? Is Spike your real name?" Lucy asked.

"It is now. When you live as long as I have you tend to use lots of names." He answered.

"What about when you were a human, what was your name then?" She pressed and then began washing his back.

"It was William." He revealed.

"William? Hmm… I think Spike is definitely more you." She decided and playfully bit his earlobe.

A/N- So I know not a lot happened in this chapter, just a little filler to show just how much Lucy already trusts Spike. I promise things will pick up in the next chapter when the pair get to Wolfram and Hart. Reviews make me write faster, so hit the button, come on you know you want to…


	8. Chapter 8

8

"Wow it's huge in here. You didn't tell me he owned a giant law firm." Lucy whispered into Spike's ear as she tightened her grip on his shoulder.

"How can you tell it's so big?" Spike asked as he glanced around the large lobby area of Wolfram and Hart.

"The echoes. I can hear them so high up, the ceiling must be at least three stories up. This place is giant, I was picturing a few small offices or something." She explained, sounding nervous.

"No worries love. Everything'll be fine." Spike comforted and patted her hand.

"Blondie-bear! I thought you left for good."

Spike winced at the sound of Harmony's voice and knew instantly that Lucy was going to give him no end of shit over the whole blondie-bear thing.

"Blondie-bear?" Lucy giggled into his ear.

"Who's your friend Spike?" Harmony asked with just a slight twinge of jealousy to her voice.

"Harmony this is Lucy. Lucy this is Harmony." Spike introduced.

"Hi Harmony, it's nice to meet you. Spike has told me a lot about you." Lucy said brightly.

"Nice to meet you too Lucy." Harmony replied warily and held out one hand for Lucy to shake, not picking up on the fact that Lucy couldn't see.

Harmony raised one eyebrow at Spike and gave him a questioning look when Lucy failed to return the handshake.

"Uh Harm, Lucy is blind." Spike explained and pushed her hand back down. From the corner of his eye he could see Lucy's face turning red with embarrassment.

"Oh!" Harmony exclaimed and then stood floundering with her mouth open, unsure of what else to say.

"Is he here?" Spike asked, wanting nothing more than to get Lucy away from Harmony before it became even more uncomfortable.

"He's in talking to Gunn about some contracts. They've been in there forever and it sounds really boring." Harmony rambled.

"Where's Fred?" Spike interrupted before she could really get going.

"In her office I think." Harmony replied.

"Thanks, I'll be back." Spike answered and pulled Lucy away from Harmony's desk. "I'll talk to Angel first, you think you'll be alright if I leave you with Fred?" He asked as he led Lucy towards the lab.

"I don't need a babysitter Spike." Lucy snapped. "But yes I'm sure I'll be fine hanging out with Fred, unless you think I'll be bothering her."

"Nah Fred's gonna love you." Spike assured her.

They found Fred in her office with Lorne. The two of them were laughing and obviously neither of them was busy working. Spike popped his head through the door and knocked lightly.

"Spike! We thought maybe you took off, now that you're all corporeal again." Fred drawled sounding genuinely happy that he was back.

"Nope didn't leave, just got side tracked for a bit. Can we come in?" Spike replied.

He noticed Fred and Lorne exchange a questioning look when he used the word 'we' but both tried to look nonchalant.

Spike opened the door all the way and led Lucy into the room. "Fred, Lorne, this is Lucy, my girlfriend."

Lucy stumbled a little and gasped when Spike called her his girlfriend. He turned around and pulled her close so that he could whisper in her ear. "Sorry love guess it's a bit soon to be calling you that. Unless you want to be. I mean I want you to be, but if it's too soon…" Spike gushed sounding embarrassed.

"No it's fine. I want to be your girlfriend. I mean if you're sure you want me to be." She rambled, sounding just as embarrassed as he did.

"I'm sure." He replied certainly and pressed a kiss to her mouth. He turned around to find Fred and Lorne both staring at him with their mouths hanging open.

"So uh, yeah, this is my girlfriend Lucy." Spike introduced again. "Lucy this is Winifred Burkle and Lorne."

This time Lucy stuck her hand out first and waited for one of them to take it. Lorne made the first move and hurried to stand up and grasp her hand. Unlike Harmony, Spike could tell Lorne and Fred were aware enough to notice Lucy's disability right away.

"Lucy, aren't you a little doll." Lorne gushed. "Love that red hair."

"Spike you have a girlfriend?" Fred interrupted, sounding stunned.

"Well we just met last night, but I guess you could say it was an instant connection." Lucy explained and turned so that she was facing in Fred's general direction. "Spike saved me from two vampires and then he helped me get home, we ended up talking all night." She continued.

"Ahh well ain't that sweet." Fred giggled as she shook Lucy's hand.

"Look I gotta go talk to Angel, can Lucy stay here with you for awhile?" Spike asked.

"Of course she can. We'll take good care of her." Lorne answered and pushed Spike towards the door. He was just able to give Lucy a quick peck on the cheek before Lorne fully pushed him out of the office.

"Ok now tell us everything." Lorne insisted as soon as the office door was shut.

Spike didn't bother to knock on Angel's office door before entering. He wouldn't give Angel the satisfaction of even that much respect. Just like Harmony had said Angel and Gunn were bent over a desk covered in a mound of paper work.

"Spike. I thought you left." Angel growled.

"I did leave and now I'm back." Spike growled in return.

Gunn stood up from the table and stretched, his back popping several times. "We can finish this later." He said to Angel and turned around to leave. He gave Spike's arm a friendly punch on his way past, letting him know that at least he was happy to see Spike back.

"So what are you doing in here Spike?" Angel asked as he leaned back in his chair and folded his arms over his chest.

Spike closed his eyes and tried to prepare himself for doing something he really did not want to do.

"I need your help." He stated simply. "Please." He added quietly.

Angel's eyebrows raised up and he looked at Spike in surprise. "You're asking me for help, politely? What have you done?"

"Now why do you think I did something?" Spike asked sounding exasperated.

"Because if you're asking for help from me and doing it nicely, you must have pissed off something really big and bad." Angel reasoned.

"Well as a matter of fact I haven't done anything bad. And the helps not for me, it's for a girl." Spike responded, sounding rather smug.

"Ok well now I'm intrigued." Angel laughed.

"I met her last night, saved her from two vamps that were looking to make a snack outta her. But the thing is she lost her job last night and then I kinda pissed off her landlord and she got evicted. So she's got nowhere to go and no job and I was hoping maybe you could help her out." Spike babbled quickly.

"That's not really the type of help we give here Spike. Can't you take her to a homeless shelter or something? Why do you even care what happens to her?" Angel asked skeptically.

"I just care ok. She's a nice girl and she doesn't have anybody in the world and I want to help her." Spike explained.

Angel stood up and began pacing in front of his desk. "I still don't get it Spike, you never do anything unless there's something in it for you. So what do you get out of this? Is she a stripper Spike? Maybe a prostitute?" Angel teased.

Suddenly Spike flew at Angel, his left fist connecting with Angel's cheekbone, hard enough to send Angel stumbling into his desk.

"Don't talk about Lucy like that!" Spike shouted.

"You know Spike punching me isn't the best way to get me to do what you want." Angel mused angrily as he rubbed his jaw and cheek.

Spike forced himself to calm down before he spoke again. "Ok you're right I shouldn't have punched you, but don't talk about Lucy like that. She's wonderful and I think maybe I'm falling for her." He admitted.

Angel stopped his pacing and stared wide eyed at Spike. "Are you serious?"

Spike avoided looking at Angel and nodded.

"What about Buffy?" Angel asked.

Spike raised his head and looked Angel in the eye. "I think we both know that things with me and the slayer weren't ever gonna go anywhere. She's getting on with her life, she doesn't need to know I'm back, let her remember me doing something good and leave it at that."

Angel considered making fun of Spike, but his words hit too close to home for Angel and he realized that Spike made a good point.

"So what kind of help do you expect me to give this girl?" Angel asked, changing the subject.

"Well I was hoping maybe you could give her a job and maybe let her stay in one of the apartments upstairs." Spike proposed.

Angel nodded thoughtfully and resumed his pacing. "I guess I could probably do that. What kind of job should I give her, does she have any skills?"

Spike grimaced, "I'm not sure what kind of skills she has, I only met her yesterday. She's got a lot of books though."

Angel nodded, "Ok well maybe I could give her a job in Wes' department, she could help with research or something."

Spike pictured Lucy in a stuffy library with Wesley pouring over books. It seemed like a good fit for her, but it then occurred to him that Lucy wouldn't be able to read the books.

"That might be a problem. I forgot to tell you, um Lucy can't see." Spike admitted.

"She's blind?" Angel asked, sounding surprised.

"Yeah, sorry guess I should have mentioned that before." Spike mumbled.

"So are you really telling me that you Spike, William the Bloody, have fallen in love with a blind girl in one day?" Angel asked disbelievingly.

"That's right." Spike admitted and cringed waiting for the mocking that was sure to follow.

"Alright I'll help her, but I want to meet her first." Angel decided.

Spike looked at Angel in surprise, but decided not to push his luck by questioning Angel's motivations for helping and not teasing him.

Spike gave Angel a nod and headed out of the office to go get Lucy. She was still in the office with Fred and Lorne, plus Gunn who had joined them. The four of them were laughing loudly when he entered the office.

"Spike your girlfriend is hilarious." Gunn complimented through his laughter.

"Yeah she's a bundle of laughs alright." Spike agreed. "Angel wants to meet you Lucy." He added.

Lucy nodded and bit her lip nervously. "Ok sounds good." She reached a hand forward and waited for Spike to lead her from the office.

"It was nice meeting all of you. I'll talk to you later." She called over her shoulder.

"Nice to meet you too, see you later." Fred called cheerfully.

Spike led Lucy back towards Angel's office, carefully leading her around the various Wolfram and Hart employees who were walking the hallways. He knocked lightly on the office door this time, not so much for Angel's benefit, but for Lucy's, so she would know they were there.

"Come in." Angel called from his desk.

"Angel this is Lucy." Spike introduced. "Lucy this is Angel."

"Hi Angel it's nice to meet you." Lucy said politely.

Spike waited for Angel to introduce himself, but Angel said nothing. When Spike looked over at his desk Angel was simply sitting and staring wide eyed at Lucy.

"Um Angel? You gonna say hello to her." Spike prodded.

Suddenly Angel jumped up from his desk and hurried over to where the pair was standing.

"You 're Lucy Valentine aren't you?" Angel asked excitedly.

Spike's head whipped around to stare at Angel.

_How the hell does he know Lucy?_ Spike thought.


	9. Chapter 9

9

"How the hell do you know Lucy?" Spike asked as Angel hurried up to them.

Angel ignored Spike and stared at Lucy with a huge goofy smile plastered to his face. He looked like a little kid meeting Santa Claus. He was almost bouncing up onto his toes with excitement as he stood in front of her and tried to speak with her.

"I just can't believe I'm meeting you. I'm a huge fan, you have no idea." Angel gushed suddenly and grabbed Lucy's hand, pumping it up and down maniacally.

"Seriously Angel, how in the hell do you know my girlfriend?" Spike asked louder this time.

"I think Angel is a ballet fan." Lucy said to Spike while she patiently had her hand shaken so hard that Spike was a little afraid her shoulder would dislocate.

"Don't you know who this is Spike?" Angel asked finally without taking his eyes off of Lucy. "This is Lucy Valentine."

"Yeah I know her name, I'm the one that introduced her to you remember?" Spike sneered, becoming frustrated that his questions weren't being answered. "What the hell does Angel liking ballet have to do with anything? Other than the fact that he's a giant poof."

"Spike, Lucy is the prima ballerina for the Moscow Ballet, she's probably the best dancer in the world. I've seen you dance like ten times. Oh man you were amazing in Romeo and Juliet, seriously I cried." Angel babbled, sounding like a moron to Spike.

"You're a dancer?" Spike asked Lucy with surprise, he hadn't seen anything in her apartment to indicate she was a world famous ballerina.

"Not anymore." Lucy replied, Spike noticed her voice quiver slightly.

Spike pulled Lucy closer him and put his arm around her shoulders. Angel was still shaking Lucy's hand and grinning like an insane puppy.

"It's nice to meet you Angel. I'm glad you liked my dancing." Lucy said stiffly and tried to extract her hand from the iron grip Angel had it in.

"Hey Angel, maybe you want to let go of Lucy's hand now." Spike urged and pried his hand away from Lucy's.

"Oh sorry, um, I'm just so excited to meet you. Do you think maybe you would sign a program for me? I have one in my desk from when you were in The Firebird." Angel asked and hurried over to his desk and began to dig through a drawer.

He hurried back over with a glossy program and a marker. Spike was shocked to see Lucy on the cover of the program and he grabbed it from Angel's hand to study it closer. The picture showed Lucy wearing a gauzy red and orange dress with bright red toe shoes on her feet. She was standing on the point of one foot with her other leg raised straight above her head in an impossible looking split. Her long red hair was curled into long ringlets and her face was painted with glittery makeup, the entire ensemble made her look like a fairy prince to Spike. But it was seeing her eyes that made spike feel as if he'd been kicked in the gut. Her eyes were a bright beautiful green that complimented her hair perfectly and they were totally normal. Spike wasn't sure why, but he'd just assumed Lucy had always been blind. Seeing a picture of her whole, without any disability, made it seem much more tragic.

"So would you mind signing this?" Angel asked again and pulled the program away from Spike.

"Um, well I guess, but I don't know how neat my signature will be since I can't see what I'm doing." Lucy replied uncomfortably.

Angel suddenly seemed to take in Lucy's dark glasses and the white cane in her hand and finally thought about the fact that she couldn't see.

"Oh I'm sorry, I didn't think… Never mind." Angel replied and quickly put the program and marker away.

The three of them stood in an uncomfortable silence for a few seconds. Lucy was gripping Spike's hand tightly, but Spike could still feel it shaking in his grasp.

"So Angel was thinking maybe you could work in the research department with Wesley. I mean you like to read and all so we thought maybe you'd like reading all day for a living. Course those books are all old and boring, but…" Spike trailed off, trying hard to break the uncomfortable silence.

"How would I read those books? I'm sure they don't come in Braille." Lucy asked.

"I thought of that. But Wesley has these magic books, you just tell them what you want and poof they fill in on their own. So I was thinking you could just tell the book to translate it into Braille and it'll do it." Spike replied, obviously proud of his quick thinking.

Angel gave Spike a look that was a mix of surprise and admiration. "That's true, we could get any of the books in Braille, so it shouldn't be a problem. Do you think you could handle reading ancient tomes all day? They can be really dry and boring, I'm warning you now so you don't try throwing yourself out a window later."

Lucy giggled and nodded enthusiastically. "That sounds amazing. I'd love the chance to read all those old books.

"Ok well since that's settled, we need to get you an apartment. This building has living spaces up on the twelfth floor and luckily one of them is empty. You're welcome to it." Angel offered.

"That's really generous of you, but you're doing so much giving me a job. I can find a place to live on my own." Lucy argued.

"It's really no problem Lucy, besides isn't it Spike's fault you lost your other apartment anyway? We kind of owe you a place to live. Plus if I give you the apartment I can stop thinking of excuse for not giving it to the head of accounting. He's a Kathalack demon, nice guy, but man he stinks like dead fish. I really didn't want him living up there." Angel replied.

Lucy bit her lip and looked uncertain for a few seconds. "Ok I'll take it if you're sure it won't be any trouble." She finally relented.

Angel nodded and shook Lucy's hand one more time, this time for a more sane amount of time. "Ok Spike why don't you help Lucy get settled in and then you can check in with Wesley and find out when he wants you to start. Maybe sometime we could sit down and talk about ballet, if you'd feel like it. I'd love to hear about working with Alexander Prontsky, he's a great dancer."

Lucy nodded and gave Angel another wide smile. "Sure we could do that sometime." She replied, although Spike could still hear a twinge of sadness in her voice.

Spike led Lucy back towards the office door, but turned slightly and mouthed the words Thank you to Angel before walking through the door.

Once they had been given directions and a key to Lucy's new apartment from Harmony, the new couple headed upstairs in the elevator.

"So you were a ballet dancer huh?" Spike finally asked breaking the silence.

"I was until I lost my eye sight." Lucy muttered.

Spike wanted to ask her more, like how she'd lost her sight for one, but he could tell that she hated talking about herself more than anything. He didn't want to make her angry or hurt her by pressing her to talk before she was ready so he simply chose to be patient and wait until she volunteered more information.

The apartment was large and decorated very modernly, with very few pieces of furniture. It had a kind of sparse look to it, but Spike realized it would be good having a nice open floor plan without obstacles for Lucy to trip over.

"So this is the place." Spike said as they stood next to the front door, it sounded like a stupid statement even in his own head.

"You want me to leave for awhile so you can get settled?" Spike asked, he wanted to give Lucy her space, but it was driving him crazy how quiet she was being.

"I think I'm going to need some help getting around actually, before I can be alone." Lucy pointed out.

"Oh yeah, didn't think about that. So um what do you want me to do?" Spike asked.

"Can you just walk around with me and show me where all the furniture and the doors and things are?" Lucy asked quietly. Spike could see that she was blushing with embarrassment again and wondered how long it would take before it would stop bothering her to ask for his help.

Spike moved so that he was standing behind Lucy and put his right arm over hers. He then helped her feel where the table was that sat next to the front door. From there he moved with her slowly through all of the rooms, pointing out furniture, closets, and doorways. Spike could hear Lucy counting quietly under her breath and realized that she was memorizing the numbers of footsteps that lay between the different objects. He was once again entranced with her long delicate fingers as they skimmed lightly over the surfaces of things, memorizing their feel, so that she would know them again later.

He finished their tour in the bedroom and watched as Lucy walked the room by herself once he was finished directing her. Her hand trailed along the top of the bed as she walked around it.

"It's a big bed." She pointed out. "Way bigger than the one at my old apartment." She added slyly and then pulled her shirt off and unbuttoned her pants.

Spike swallowed convulsively and quickly began stripping off his own clothing.

"I think maybe we should break it in don't you?" Lucy asked with mock innocence as she finished removing the last of her clothes.

Spike's only answer was a lusty growl as he picked up Lucy and threw both of them onto the large bed.

A/N- Wow so two chapters in one day, I'm so proud of myself. I've already got the beginning of the next chapter down and just to give you all a little teaser, it starts off with a very steamy sex scene, so make sure to tune in for that! Thanks for reading!


	10. Chapter 10

10

Lucy woke up slowly and stretched, feeling the large soft bed under her. She smiled to herself at waking up in such nice surroundings. It was the best night's sleep she'd had in as long as she could remember, plus her and Spike's before bed activities had certainly added to her good mood. Her body felt deliciously warmed and relaxed as she stretched in the bed. She could tell that Spike was still next to her in bed, one of his arms was lying across her chest and his hand lightly cupped her breast, almost like he couldn't get enough of them even in his sleep. Both of them were naked and uncovered, she wasn't sure what had happened to the blankets and sheets, but she figured they were probably in a pile on the floor at the foot of the bed. She was comfortable and warm, the early morning sunlight was shining straight on her.

Lucy's body tightened in a panic when she realized that if she could feel the sunlight then so could Spike. In one swift motion she flipped over and attempted to cover Spike's body with her own to protect him from the killing rays of light.

"Ow, Lucy what the hell?" Spike yelled sleepily.

"The sun Spike! We forgot to close the curtains! Hurry you have to move!" She shouted and attempted to push him out of the bed and away from the windows.

"Shhh… love calm down." Spike soothed and rubbed a hand up Lucy's arm to stop her panic.

"Why aren't you on fire?" She asked suspiciously.

Spike laughed and wrapped Lucy in a tight hug, pressing her to his naked chest. "Special glass love, the whole building has it. It makes this place vampire friendly twenty-four seven." He explained.

"So you can be in the sunlight anywhere in the building?" She asked curiously.

"Yep."

Lucy smiled widely and snuggled closer to Spike, burrowing her face into the crook of his neck. She licked and nipped her way up to his earlobe. Spike's chest rumbled with pleasure as he ran a hand up and down Lucy's spine, feeling goose bumps rise on her smooth skin.

Suddenly Lucy pulled away from him and stood up. Putting her hand out in front of her to guide her she carefully made her way to the large floor to ceiling windows that made up one entire wall of her bedroom. She put her hands and forehead against the sun warmed glass and sighed with pleasure.

"You like the sunlight don't you love?" Spike asked as he lay sprawled naked on the now empty bed.

"Mmm-hmm. I grew up in Russia, didn't get much sunlight there. Ever since I moved to the west coast I just can't seem to get enough of it." She answered, revealing more about herself in that one sentence than she had in the past two days.

Spike left the bed and joined her at the window, pressing his body against hers so that his early morning erection was pressed tightly against her tight little butt. She let out a moan of pleasure and wiggled a little against his cock.

He took a moment to take in the scene out the window, the city sprawled out below them. The rising sun, a ball of blazing orange on the horizon, cast a fiery reflective glow to all the skyscrapers that made up the downtown area. Spike never gave the sun much consideration, even now that he could look at it without dying a horrible burning death. Today the sight was so beautiful that it made a lump in his throat, a lump that seemed to grow worse when he realized Lucy couldn't see what he was seeing.

He pulled his eyes away from the beautiful sunrise and looked at Lucy. She still had her head pressed against the warm glass and her startling blue eyes stared blankly out at the horizon, almost like she was willing her eyes to work. It was a heartbreaking scene. Spike thought then that he would give anything to make her see again.

"What does it look like?" She asked quietly, almost like she was reading his mind.

Spike swallowed nervously and tried to think of how to describe the scene in front of him. "Um, well the suns just over the horizon now, its bright orange, kind of like fire. It's making everything outside orange, all the buildings are reflecting the light, so it looks like the whole downtown area is burning, but in a pretty not horrible way." He finished.

"It sounds nice." She whispered sadly.

Spike turned Lucy around and pressed her naked backside against the glass. "I'm sorry you can't see it love. But I'll be your eyes anytime you want." He promised.

Lucy smiled and nodded slightly. "Sorry I didn't mean to ruin the fun we were starting to have."

"You didn't ruin anything love." He answered and placed one of her hands to his rock hard erection. Lucy gave him a sexy grin and wrapped her fingers around his cock, squeezing slightly as she rubbed it rhythmically. Spike moaned in pleasure and pulled Lucy closer so he could kiss her.

Their kisses deepened, becoming longer and slower. Lucy's breathing sped up as she rubbed her body against Spike's. Spike put one arm under Lucy's butt, lifting her up so that her backside was pressed against the glass. She wrapped her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist, lowering herself onto his erection slowly. Spike kept one hand under her butt to hold her up and pressed the other flat against the window.

Lucy screamed loudly as Spike began to move, pushing into her slowly at first, building his thrusts so that they became steadily deeper and faster. Her fingernails dug into his shoulders and her mouth found his neck, her tongue so hot that hit nearly burned his cool flesh as it trailed along his skin.

"Feed on me Spike." She breathed into his ear.

"You sure love?" He asked in a shaky breath.

Lucy moaned in response and threw her head back so that her bare neck was directly in front of his mouth. Spike's body reacted before his mind was fully made up, he felt himself change and his fangs were at her throat in an instant. He forced himself to calm down before biting her, he didn't want to hurt her accidentally. Very gently he allowed two fangs to press against her flesh, but stopped suddenly when he heard her suck in a breath.

"Don't stop." She complained and sped up their lovemaking as she pressed her neck tighter to Spike's mouth.

It finally occurred to Spike that like him, maybe Lucy liked a little pain with her pleasure as well. He grinned broadly at the realization and finally allowed himself to bite into her. He shuddered with pleasure as he felt her skin break and hot warm blood pulsed into his mouth.

The ecstasy of having human blood coursing through his veins at the same time that he was making love to Lucy was almost more than he could stand. His vampire self was screaming for him to feed harder and faster, the demon wanted to feel her heart beat stutter and stop beneath his hands. It was this craving that made Spike stop feeding, he would never do anything to hurt Lucy he realized and he made sure that he'd only take a small amount of blood, probably not enough to even make her feel lightheaded.

Lucy came just as his mouth pulled away from her neck. She screamed loudly and pulled Spike even closer to her. Spike let his eyes wander down to take in the way Lucy's breasts were pressed against his chest, pushing them up into a severe cleavage. It was sexy enough to push Spike's control over the edge and he felt himself cumming just after Lucy did.

When they were both finished Spike walked backwards to the bed, with Lucy still held in his arms and his cock still buried inside of her. When he felt the mattress hit the back of his knees he allowed himself to fall over with Lucy on top of him. Spike closed his eyes and listened as Lucy's breathing and heartbeat returned to a normal pace. After a few minutes Lucy rolled off of Spike and lay sprawled out next to him with a goofy smile stuck to her face. Spike noticed that a drop of blood had made a crimson trail from Lucy's neck to her shoulder. He turned over and licked the trail of blood away from her skin slowly, eliciting a low moan of pleasure from Lucy.

A few minutes later Spike sat up, "Damn, I have to go get the stuff from your old apartment. I'll be back." Spike promised as he jumped up and began pulling his clothes on.

"Spike I can get my stuff from my own apartment." Lucy protested.

"Really love? You know how to get from here to your old place?" Spike asked suspiciously.

"Well no, but I could probably figure it out." She replied lamely.

"That's what I thought. Lucy why do you have such a problem with me helping you? There's no shame in needing help sometimes Lucy, even people who can see need help once in awhile." Spike pointed out.

"Yeah but they don't need help to find their own apartment and they don't need someone to pick out their clothes for them or show them where the bathroom is. You don't know what it's like not being able to do things for yourself." Lucy shouted, all of her post sex glow disappearing from her face.

"Actually I do." Spike informed her quietly. He sat down on the bed next to Lucy and took one of her hands in his own.

"You do?" She asked.

"I was in a wheelchair for awhile. Had a whole building fall straight onto my back, it snapped my spine." He confided.

"But if it broke your spine how come you can walk now?" She asked in a small voice.

"Vampire healing love remember? It took awhile but I healed eventually." Spike kissed her gently and tried to pull her to him, she stiffened in her arms however and pulled away from him.

"So if you turned me into a vampire I would be able to see again?" She asked excitedly.

Spike sighed sadly and stood up from the bed. He'd had a feeling this conversation was coming but he'd really been hoping to avoid it.

"I won't turn you into a vampire Lucy." He stated firmly.

"But would it make me see again if you did?" She pressed ignoring his outright refusal.

"You want the honest truth, probably you would be able to see again, but I still won't do it." He answered sounding every bit as certain as he had the first time he'd said it.

"But I could see again!" She exclaimed happily. "I don't mind being a vampire, I'll stay out of the sun and drink animal blood. I promise I won't hurt anyone." She said in a rush.

"No Lucy…" Spike began, but was interrupted by Lucy as she jumped up from the bed and stumbled trying to find him. He hurried forward and grabbed her arm before she could fall. Lucy clung to his arm and looked at him with tears streaming down her face.

"Please Spike, I can't do this anymore, I don't want to need help. I don't want to be blind." She whimpered pitifully.

She sounded so desperate that Spike felt like his non-beating heart was breaking in half. She clung to him and cried into his shoulder, repeating the word please over and over under her breath.

Spike straightened up and forced himself to ignore the tiny voice screaming inside his head to give her what she wanted.

"Lucy no. Don't ask me to do this. You have to understand love, it wouldn't be you anymore. It would be a soulless demon inside of your body and it would stop at nothing to hurt everyone you care about." Spike explained.

"But you aren't like that and neither is Angel." She protested softly.

"Angel and I are different love, we got our souls back, but it came at a high price for both of us."

"I could get my soul back then. I'll do anything I don't care how hard it would be." She answered swiftly, willing to do anything to regain her sight.

"Lucy I had to fight a demon for my soul and I wasn't even trying to get my soul back. I was trying to get revenge on a woman I claimed to love. It was sick and obsessive. I got lucky the demon I fought knew what it was I really needed. But I fought him for days love and it nearly killed me." He answered.

"I could do it, you could train me." She protested.

"Lucy you aren't thinking about the fact that it wouldn't be you making the decision it would be a demon and I doubt the demon would be willing to fight to get your soul back."

Lucy nodded sadly and seemed to accept what Spike was telling her. "Well what about Angel, how did he get his soul?"

"He killed a young gypsy girl and her family cursed him with a soul so that he could feel the guilt for all of the lives he had taken." Spike explained.

"But that's perfect. You could just tie me up and then change me and curse me as soon as I'm changed. I won't have time to hurt anyone so I won't have anything to feel guilty about." She reasoned.

Spike nodded reluctantly and then remembered she couldn't see his head nod. "It's not that easy love. It's a curse, there's a catch to it. If Angel experiences even one second of perfect happiness he loses his soul again."

"Perfect happiness? Well how often do people really experience perfect happiness?" Lucy asked.

"Angel did just once. When he and Buffy were together for the first time." Spike revealed with a bitter sneer, he didn't want Buffy any longer, but he still didn't like thinking of her with Angel.

"So the first time they had sex? So Angel can't have sex?" Lucy asked sounding shocked and horrified.

"I'm not sure how it works, but I'm pretty sure he just can't make love with anyone who he truly cares for." Spike reasoned.

"Oh." Lucy replied and then sat down on the bed looking dejected. "Well I guess that won't work then."

"Lucy if you want to try that I'll help you. I could call Willow and ask her if she could do the spell again." Spike offered.

"No I don't want to do that. I'm pretty sure that I'm falling in love with you Spike and I won't give up being with you for anything in the world, not even my sight." She replied certainly.

"Lucy we could still be together, even if we couldn't you know, be together in the biblical sense. If it means you'd be able to see maybe we should give it a try." Spike offered.

Lucy smiled up in Spike's direction and held out her hand so that he would walk over and take it. "You would give up a sex life for me? Why would you want to stay with me if we couldn't have sex anymore?"

Spike sat down beside Lucy and brushed a stray strand of hair behind her ear. "Guess its cause I'm falling in love with you too."

"Really?" She asked, sounding both happy and disbelieving.

"Really, and if that means giving up sex so that the woman I love can see, then I'll do it happily." He promised.

Spike watched as Lucy's face glowed with happiness and a stray tear slipped down her cheek. He couldn't believe he'd just offered to give up sex for the rest of Lucy's life. Three days before he would have thought the idea of that happening was less likely than him and Angel starting a boy band together. Strangely it didn't bother him at all and he realized he really would rather have Lucy be able to see than be able to have sex with her, even if the sex was the best he'd ever experienced in his long life.

"That's probably the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me Spike. But that won't work for me, sorry. You're way too good in the sack for me to give that up forever." She joked and leaned forward to press her lips to Spike's.

Spike pulled back long enough to ask her one last question, "You sure bout this love?"

She responded by unzipping his pants and cupping his balls. "Definitely." She giggled.

"Again? Woman you're going to kill me and I'm already dead." He joked as she pushed him to the bed and pulled off his pants.

A/N- So I had a great time writing this chapter and I hope you guys enjoy reading. Oh Spike is so hot, I'd love him to press me up against a window. Thanks again for reading and extra big thanks to those of you who review… hint, hint.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N- Just a little word of warning this chapter definitely takes a very angsty turn and there is some violence and metions of rape.**

11

Lucy groaned and stretched in her chair, hearing her back pop several times. Her fingers stung from passing them over Braille text all day long. She'd been working for nearly ten hours straight, but she didn't want to stop. In the month that she'd been working at Wolfram and Hart she'd come to love her job, more than just about anything else she'd ever done. She loved getting to read all day and discovering a world that she'd never had any concept of before meeting Spike.

Just as she was getting ready to dive back into her research she felt a tingle at the back of her neck and ha d the feeling that she was being watched. She held her breath and listened intently to the room around her. Within a few seconds she could detect the breathing and heartbeats of at least three people.

"Ok why do I have the feeling that I'm being stared at by an incredibly creepy group of people who are all hovering in the doorway of my office?" She asked without looking up.

"Happy birthday Lucy!" Came the shouted reply from her friends.

Spike watched as Lucy cringed and turned bright red with embarrassment. Next to him Fred stood holding a birthday cake, complete with burning candles even though Lucy couldn't see them. The rest of the group crowded behind Spike in the doorway.

"How did you guys know that it's my birthday?" Lucy asked, still sounding horrified.

"It's in your personnel file." Angel explained sounding very pleased with himself that he'd discovered the information, well Harmony had technically discovered it, but he'd arranged the surprise party.

Spike moved to Lucy's side and pulled her up from her desk. "Now no complaining love, we're celebrating your birthday whether or not it kills you to do it." He threatened and led her over to the cake in Fred's arms. "Now blow out your candles."

Lucy grinned despite herself and allowed Spike to position her above the cake. She blew and managed to blow out almost all of the candles without even being able to see them. Spike used his fingers to pinch out the three that she missed.

"This is really nice of you guys, thank you." Lucy said, finally deciding to allow the celebration.

"Ok now you have to come see your present." Fred instructed.

"You guys really didn't have to get me any anything." Lucy protested.

"It's your birthday Lucy, of course you get presents." Gunn replied.

Spike led Lucy to the elevators and then up to the ninth floor, with the rest of the gang following close behind. He stopped in front of a closed door and suddenly Lucy felt a pair of hands cover her eyes.

"Uh, Wesley she's not gonna see her surprise anyway." Spike pointed out and the hands quickly dropped from her eyes.

"Oh right, um sorry Lucy." Wesley mumbled sounding embarrassed.

"That's ok Wes. So what's my present?" She asked, almost sounding impatient.

"Your present is this room." Angel explained as Spike opened the door and they all piled into the room.

Lucy could tell the room was very large and mostly empty because of the way their footsteps echoed as they walked across the hardwood floor.

"Ok so I get an empty room? Um does maybe someone want to explain this to me, not that a big empty room isn't great and all…" Lucy said.

She felt Spike release her hand and then Angel took it and pulled her further into the room. "Here put your hand out." He instructed.

Lucy did as she was told and held out her hand. Angel guided her across the room and then moved her hand so that she could find what it was he wanted her to touch. Her hand connected with a smooth horizontal bar that was at shoulder height. She knew instantly that it was a ballet bar, it felt as familiar under her hand as her cane did.

"It's a dance studio!" She said excitedly.

Spike could see that everyone was pleased with Lucy's obvious happiness, but they didn't know her as well as he did. She sounded excited, but he could see the way her lips tightened slightly and the tiny furrow of her brow and he knew that she was faking her enthusiasm for the gift.

"We also got you some dance clothes and Angel found out what kind of toe shoes you used to wear so we got you some a those too. Plus there's a stereo and a bunch of music for you to dance to." Fred explained.

"Wow you guys this is amazing, thank you so much." Lucy gushed.

Fred moved over to the small table they had set up in the dance studio and began dishing up the birthday cake. The party lasted for nearly two hours, Lucy patiently put up with the attention without complaint, even though Spike could tell she hated every second of it. There were quite a few subtle and not so subtle hints, mainly from Angel, that everyone wanted to see her dance, but Lucy managed to side step the requests with the promise of another time.

Once the party was over Lucy claimed that she'd like some alone time to try out her new dance studio. She was given hugs from everyone before they filed out of the room and left her alone, standing at the bar. Spike waited until everyone else had left and then slipped quietly back into the room before the door clicked shut. He watched as Lucy listened intently to make sure she was alone, he was careful to hold perfectly still so that she wouldn't hear the movement of his clothing.

Finally satisfied that she was alone, Lucy fell to her knees and began to cry. She pulled her knees up to her chest and leaned back against the mirrored wall underneath the bar. It broke Spike's heart to see her so unhappy, but he didn't want to make her angry by letting her know that he was spying on her. Her crying grew more intense until she was sobbing loudly and rocking back and forth with her head buried in her arms. She reached out blindly and felt for a pair of toe shoes which Angel had taken out for her to feel. Once her hand located the shoes she beat them against the floor and then threw them as hard as she could.

Spike was so engrossed with watching Lucy's breakdown that he failed to realize the shoes were flying straight at him. The hit him square in the chest with enough force to make him let out an involuntary groan.

Lucy frozen when she heard the noise and her head whipped around to where Spike stood.

"Spike!" She yelled, knowing instantly who it was watching her.

"I'm sorry love, I just knew you were upset, I wanted to make sure you were alright." He explained quickly.

Spike cringed expecting Lucy to blow up at him. Instead she simply sighed and leaned back against the mirror again.

Spike hurried over and sat down next to her, putting one arm around her shoulders. She leaned into his embrace and sniffled. "Please talk to me love, its killing me not knowing what's making you so sad." He begged.

Lucy nodded reluctantly. "Ok, you're right, you told me everything about you and I haven't told you anything about me, it isn't fair. What do you want to know?" She asked fearfully.

"Everything." He answered instantly. "I want to know where your family is, why you're all alone in the world. I want to know why you won't dance anymore. And I want to know what happened to make you blind."

"Let's go back to our place first, alright. I don't want to talk in here." She whispered, almost like the room could hear her and would judge her for her dislike of it.

Spike pulled Lucy to her feet and waited while she opened her cane before following her up to their apartment. Once they were inside Spike sat down on the couch and patiently waited for Lucy to talk. She made her way to the bookshelves that took up one wall of their living room and ran her hand down the spines of her Braille books, until she found the one she was looking for. She pulled the large book down and brought it over to the couch with her.

Lucy took a shuddering breath and pulled off her dark glasses before she began talking. When she put the glasses down on the coffee table Spike could see her hands shaking badly.

She flipped open the large book and Spike noticed a stack of photographs hidden between the pages. She pulled the large bundle out and fingered the edges of the pictures, until she found one with a torn off corner. This picture she handed to Spike.

"This is my family." She explained and waited as Spike examined the picture.

The picture showed Lucy and three other people, and older man and woman who he assumed were her parents and a young man who looked to be the same age that Lucy was in the picture.

"Is this your brother?" He asked.

Lucy nodded and wiped a stray tear off of her cheek. "Alex. He was my twin."

"Your mom is really pretty, you look like her." He complimented.

Lucy smiled and ran one finger over the photograph, like she was trying to feel the images that she could no longer see.

"Are they dancers too?" He asked.

Lucy nodded. "Yes. My parents met in Russia when my mom was eighteen. She was an American ballerina and she came over to dance as a guest star with the Moscow ballet. My dad had been dancing with them since he was twelve or so. Alex was a dancer too." She answered.

Spike began sorting through the pile of pictures that Lucy had pulled out. Most of them were pictures of her and her brother, many of them were the two of them in costume. One picture showed Alex lifting Lucy high into the air above his head. It was such a graceful pose, but the two siblings were both grinning at the camera with their tongues sticking out, obviously hamming it up for whoever was holding the camera.

"I like this picture of your brother lifting you up." He said with a grin.

Lucy smiled and gave a little chuckle. "My dad took that one, right before a performance."

"So you grew up in Russia?" He asked, anxious to finally find out more about the woman he loved.

"Not really. Mostly I grew up in tour buses. We travelled with the company from the day we were born and Alex and I both started dancing with them when we were eight. We had tutors instead of going to school. Alex and I both started dancing with the company professionally when we were fourteen." She answered.

"Seems awfully young to have a career." Spike commented.

"Yeah, but that's the way it is in the ballet world. Nobody wants to watch people in their thirties or forties dance. You start young and you retire young. Besides, it wasn't like I'd ever thought to do anything else with my life, I grew up in the ballet, and I'd still be there if it hadn't been for…" She trailed off and vaguely gestured to her eyes.

"What happened Lucy?" Spike asked, unable to fathom what could have hurt her so badly.

"A fan, that's what happened. His name was Jason Richards. I started getting fan mail from him when I was seventeen. They were nice at first, he would tell me how beautiful and talented I was and how much he enjoyed my dancing. But after a few months they started to get scary and strange. He began talking about how we belonged together. He said that I loved him and didn't even know it. Then he started saying that he'd found a way for us to be together, that when the time came he'd make sure we were together forever." She explained.

"What did your parents do?" Spike asked.

"They called the police. We were in New York at the time. It was Christmas time we were dancing The Nut Cracker. It was a long gig, we were doing the same ballet from the week after Thanksgiving until the week after Christmas. We were staying in a hotel, instead of the tour bus, since we were going to be there for so long.

The police tried tracing where the letters had come from, but they'd been mailed from all over the country so they couldn't pin any one location down. The ballet company hired extra security guards and I was never allowed to go anywhere alone. Other than that there wasn't much that could be done, we didn't even know what the guy looked like.

The night it happened I was really tired, we'd done two matinees that day and an evening show. Plus half the cast was out with the flu, so I'd danced a couple of other bit parts during my breaks. I remember just wanting to get home so I could check on Alex. He had the flu too and our parents had gone to LA for the week to see a friend who was choreographing a movie.

One of the security guards walked me to my hotel that night and he offered to walk me all the way upstairs, but I told him I didn't need him to do that, so he just walked me to the lobby. If I had just asked him to come upstairs with me…" Her voice wavered and trailed off.

Spike put a comforting arm around her shoulders and pulled her close to his side. Lucy shook her head like she was trying to clear it before continuing.

"He was already inside when I got home. The police aren't sure when he got there or how he got in. We were staying in a suite. I remember walking into the living room and looking at the Christmas tree my dad had put up the week before.

I can still remember seeing our Christmas tree so clearly and then this cloud of blue powder came at me from out of nowhere. It started burning the second it hit my eyes and I started screaming. I couldn't see anything and I kept thinking that my brother would come help me."

"What was the powder?" Spike asked.

Lucy shrugged, "I don't know. The doctors never could figure it out. They don't even know what the hell it did to my eyes. All they know is that it somehow destroyed my pupils and mutated the pigment of my irises. I saw probably twenty different specialists and not one of them could figure out what he did to me."

Spike studied Lucy's eyes closer than he ever had before while she told him what the doctors had discovered. He could see why they were baffled, he'd never seen anything like her eyes. Both of her irises were a bright almost electric blue, completely unmarred by a black circular pupil or by any other shades of color. He couldn't imagine what sort of a chemical could cause such a strange coloring.

"What happened then?" Spike asked, urging her to continue with her story.

"I remember falling to the ground and he grabbed me by the hair and pulled me into my bedroom. I didn't even know he was the person who had been writing the letters until we got into my room. Then he started talking about how much he loved me and how we were going to be together forever. He put me on the bed and taped my wrists together and then my ankles so I couldn't move. I remember that by the time he was done tying me up my eyes didn't really hurt anymore, but I still couldn't see anything. Once he had me tied up, he… well he cut all of my clothes off of me and then…" She trailed off and Spike could see her face turning a bright red color.

Spike knew all too well just what the psycho path had done to Lucy. He'd done it himself when he'd been evil, but thinking about someone violating Lucy was painful in a way he couldn't begin to describe.

"The whole time he was doing it he was chanting." She added, breaking Spike away from his guilty memories.

"What was he saying?" Spike asked.

"I don't know I've never heard the language, but he kept chanting these strange words. I can still hear him in my head. Once he, you know, finished, he just stood over my bed, like he was waiting for something. I could hear him breathing for the longest time while he just stood there and then suddenly he got really mad. He ran out of the room and I could hear him smashing things in the living room and he kept yelling about how the binding hadn't worked.

It was while he was breaking things that I got myself untied. He had taped my hands behind my back, but I don't think he thought about how flexible I was from dancing. It didn't take very long for me to pull my feet through the loop my arms made and then it was easy to pull the tape off my wrists with my teeth."

Spike raised an eyebrow and gave Lucy an appreciative pat on the back. He already knew she was brave, but yet she still kept surprising him.

"I was so scared once I was untied." She continued. "I couldn't see anything, but I could still hear him in the other room so I started looking for my cell phone. I got down on my floor and felt around for my clothes, because my phone was in my jeans pocket. I never did find my cell but I found the knife that he'd used to cut my clothes off with. Right after I found the knife I heard him come back into the room. He let out this horrible yell when he saw me untied and he ran over and grabbed me by the hair again. That's when I stabbed him." She revealed.

"You stabbed him?" Spike asked, sounding impressed.

"Yes, I didn't really think about it, I just didn't want him to hurt me again, so I just stuck the knife out as hard as I could and when I felt it hit something I kept pushing."

"Did it kill him?" He asked.

"Not right away, but it hurt him enough that he let me go and fell on the floor. I ran out of the room, well I stumbled into the wall and then found the door, but you know what I mean. My parent's room was right across the hall from mine, so it wasn't hard to find the door and I knew that there was a phone on the nightstand by their bed. I shut the door behind me and locked it so he couldn't come in and then I got down on my hands and knees and kind of crawled over to where I thought the phone was. I called the front desk and told them to send help. They wanted me to stay on the phone, but I hung up and went looking for my brother." She explained.

"Did he kill your brother?" Spike asked fearfully.

Lucy shook her head and began to cry, two fat tear drops fell from her cheeks and landed on the couch making dark spots.

"No I found Alex in his bedroom, he wasn't moving but he was alive, I could feel him breathing. I sat in there with him until the paramedics showed up and took all three of us to the hospital."

"They took that scumbag crazy ass rapist to the hospital?" Spike asked outraged.

"Yes, but he didn't make it to the hospital, apparently when I stabbed him I hit his spleen and he bled to death." She answered, sounding slightly proud of herself despite the tears.

"What happened to your brother?" He asked.

"Jason stabbed him in the back of the neck and it severed his spinal cord, paralyzed him from the shoulders down." Lucy revealed, sounding sadder about her brother's fate than her own.

"So he's still alive?" Spike asked hopefully.

"No, he um, he died six months after it happened. His kidneys failed. I wanted to give him one of my kidneys, but I couldn't because of the powder that Jason blew in my eyes. Since they didn't know what type of chemical it was they wouldn't risk putting any of my organs into anyone else." She whimpered.

Spike couldn't believe it, but he could tell that Lucy blamed herself for her brother's death.

"You know that wasn't your fault love." He told her.

She nodded her head, but looked like she didn't believe him. "I was a match, if they would have just taken my kidney, it might have saved him."

She broke down crying then, harder enough that she couldn't talk. Spike pulled Lucy onto his lap and rocked her as she cried. He waited patiently, letting her get out all of the grief that she'd been holding onto. Once she had stopped crying she crawled off of his lap and gave him a sheepish smile.

"Love where are your parents?" He asked finally.

"I don't know. Russia or Europe maybe. They left about a month after the attack." She answered angrily.

"Why?" He asked.

"Because they wanted dancers, not burdens. They didn't want two handicapped kids who they would have to take care of for the rest of their lives." She snapped.

"They just left you both?" He asked, now angry like she was.

Lucy nodded and wiped the last of her tears off of her cheeks. "My dad put all of my savings into a bank account for me and then they told me that they were going to rejoin the company. They left the next day. They don't even know that Alex is dead."

Spike jumped up from the couch and began pacing back and forth. "That's just… I mean… Fucking sons of…" Spike sputtered so angry he couldn't even finish a coherent insult.

"You want me to kill them for you love? I mean just cause I have as soul now doesn't mean I have to totally stop killing people, I could make an exception for them." He offered through gritted teeth.

Lucy stopped sniffling and actually burst out with a laugh. She held out her hands and pulled Spike back down onto the couch with her. "No I don't want you to kill them Spike. They were never the best parents anyway. It wasn't completely out of the blue when they left. I mean I know it was a really shitty thing to do, but not totally unexpected. I just don't want to think about them anymore alright? They aren't my family anymore. You are." She explained.

Spike nuzzled her closer to him and ran a hand through her hair. "Damn straight I am. I love you Lucy Valentine." He whispered into her ear, it was probably the mushiest thing he'd ever said in his life as a vampire, but saying it to her felt perfectly natural.

**A/N- So I decided to change the genre of this story from romance/humor to romance/angst. I'll still work in the humor, but this story has definitely taken a different turn than I thought it would. As always reviews are appreciated and totally loved!**


	12. Chapter 12

12

Spike held Lucy in his arms until she drifted off to sleep and then carried her to their bed. She frowned in her sleep when he put her down, but then turned over and pulled Spike's pillow to her. She smiled as she inhaled his scent.

Once he was convinced that she was sleeping soundly he quietly let himself out of the apartment. He was hesitant to leave her alone and he thought about leaving a note but quickly realized that wouldn't work.

He couldn't stop thinking about Lucy's story, he didn't want to picture the things that she had told him, but he could see them all too clearly in his mind. He figured sleep would be a long time coming and thought that maybe getting so drunk that he couldn't see clearly would help. He was halfway across the main floor when he noticed movement in Angel's office.

He entered without knocking and found Angel working late at his desk. Angel glanced up and then looked quickly back to his paperwork.

"What are you doing here Spike? Thought you'd still be with the birthday girl." He asked.

Spike walked closer to Angel's desk and flopped into the chair facing it.

"How much do you know about what happened to Lucy?" Spike asked.

Angel put down the pen he was holding and looked up so that he could give Spike his full attention.

"Um, not much I guess. I know she was the prima ballerina for the Moscow Ballet, just like her mom was before her. Her brother Alexander was a dancer too, he was almost as good as she was." Angel answered giving Spike a questioning look.

"Did you know what happened to her and her brother?" Spike questioned.

"I didn't know she was blind if that's what you mean. I read that she and her brother were hurt during a home invasion and that after that they were retiring from dancing. That's all I know." Angel finished.

Spike sighed at the lack of information and glanced around the office. "You got anything to drink in here?"

Angel stood up and pulled a glass bottle from the lower drawer of his desk and held it out to show Spike.

"Uh yeah actually I've got a bottle of sixty year old scotch, it was a gift from…" He stopped talking when Spike jerked the bottle from his hand and began chugging it.

Once the scotch was gone Spike let out a long breath and dropped the empty bottle to the ground.

"You know that was worth almost three thousand dollars." Angel commented as he dropped the empty bottle into the trash.

"Sorry, I'll pay you back." Spike slurred.

Angel snorted in disbelief. "Ok Spike, why don't you tell me this is all about? Obviously something is bothering you, something about Lucy. I thought you two were doing great, I mean I've never seen you so happy. Not even that time in Vienna, remember the school girls?" Angel asked with a grin, trying to cheer Spike up, although he wasn't sure why he cared.

"I think maybe it was something supernatural that hurt Lucy." Spike finally spit out.

"What? Why?" Angel asked, sitting back down at this desk.

Spike proceeded to relate to Angel all that Lucy had told him, when he finished he slumped backwards into his chair and waited for Angel to comment. Angel had a stunned look on his face and it took him nearly a minute before he replied.

"So you think this Jason Richards guy was doing a binding spell?" Angel clarified.

"Well she said he was chanting and he got really pissed off when something didn't happen when he was done, plus she heard him use the word 'binding' what else could it be? So we gotta fix this." Spike replied.

Angel nodded, "Ok well if it was a binding spell, it obviously didn't work. Lucy wouldn't have been able to hurt him if she'd been bound to him. I don't think there's much to be done here Spike." He stated evenly.

Spike stood up and pushed the chair away from him in anger. "We could try to find out what the bloody bastard put in her eyes. The doctors couldn't figure it out, so it's gotta be something mystical. Maybe we could cure her."

"Ok, we'll look into it Spike I promise. I'll talk to Wesley tomorrow, see if he has any clue what kind of a binding spell would involve blinding a person first, maybe he'll have some ideas." Angel promised.

Spike nodded and stopped his pacing. "Thanks Angel, I know you and me don't like each other much, but I'm grateful to you for doing this."

Angel nodded, "You want to go get a drink Spike?"

"Sounds like a good fuckin idea." He muttered.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Spike? Um Spike wake up." Spike moaned and tried to pull away from the hand tapping his cheek.

"I'm not going to church today Mother." He whined.

"Spike wake up! I'm not your mother!" Lucy said between giggles.

Spike cracked one eye open and then slammed it shut quickly when the early morning sunlight nearly made his head split open.

"Spike why are you sleeping on the bathroom floor? I stepped on you by the way." Lucy commented as she sat down on the floor next to Spike's prone body.

"I'm in the bathroom?" Spike mumbled and finally managed to squint one eye open enough to look around. "Oh I am in the bathroom, guess I thought it was the bedroom."

"How much did you drink last night, it smells like you took a bath in whiskey." Lucy asked.

Spike watched as Lucy wrinkled her nose, even in his still drunken haze she looked adorable. "Sorry love, me and Angel went out for some drinks and I guess maybe I had a few too many."

"That's alright. Do you want to take a shower, maybe it would make you feel better?" She asked and then started the shower without waiting for a reply.

Spike let his head fall back onto the cool tile floor and watched appreciatively as Lucy pulled off the t-shirt she'd slept in and climbed into the shower.

"So are you coming or not?" She asked when she didn't hear him getting up.

"Coming love, I was just admiring the view." He answered and then forced his body to stand up. He swayed drunkenly for a few seconds before he was able to get undressed and make it into the shower.

He stuck his face straight into the hot spray of water and let it clear his head. He sighed with pleasure when Lucy began washing his back.

"I'm sorry if the things I told you upset you so much you had to go get wasted." She said quietly while rubbing slow circles on his back.

Spike turned around and took her hands in his, "Don't ever be sorry about that love, I'm glad you told me. It's hard knowing the woman I love got hurt so badly. Makes me feel kind of helpless, you know. Like I should be able to do something to help you."

"You do help me Spike. I'm happier now than I have been in a really long time. Before you I was just hiding from the world, you're helping me live again." She whispered.

Spike didn't know how to reply to such kind words, he'd never had anyone in his life make him feel that important before. Instead of trying to explain how much she meant to him in words, he pulled her close and kissed her. He hoped that his actions would tell her what his words couldn't.

Later after they'd made love Spike lay in bed and watched as Lucy's eyes stared blankly up at the ceiling. He imagined what it would be like if they could find a cure for her blindness, what it would be like for her to be able to see again. He was tempted to tell her that Angel had people investigating her attack, but he didn't want to get her hopes up only to have them dashed later if it didn't work.

"Crap!" Lucy suddenly shouted and jumped out of bed. "What time is it?" She muttered as she felt around for her watch.

"Almost eleven a.m. love." Spike informed her, after glancing at the alarm clock.

"I told Fred we'd go to breakfast for my birthday." She explained as she dashed to the closet and pulled out clothes.

"Ok, do I look alright, no mismatched clothes or anything?" Lucy asked a few minutes later when she'd finished dressing.

"You look fine love. Everything is on right and they match perfectly. You look beautiful." He complimented after giving her the once over.

"Thanks, I'll see you later ok? Love you!" She shouted as she hurried out the front door.

Lucy hurried to Fred's office hoping that her friend wasn't angry at her for being so late. Even though they'd only known each other for a month, Lucy and Fred were becoming good friends. Neither of them had any other women around to hang out with and their personalities seemed to fit well together.

"Hey Morning Lucy!" Knox called as Lucy used her cane to tap her way into the lab.

"Morning Knox, is Fred here I was supposed to meet her for breakfast, but I kind of spaced it out." She explained.

"She went to her place to change. I guess she went out with Wesley and Angel this morning, some sort of spur of the moment demon slaying. She and Wesley were all covered in slime and both of them smelled like barbeque, it was weird." Knox rambled.

"Ok well I guess I'll just give her a call then, thanks Knox." Lucy replied and began to leave the lab.

"Hey Lucy if you see Fred tell her I've got something she's going to want to see." Knox called out before Lucy had disappeared out the door.

Lucy stopped and turned back, her interest peaked. "Really what is it?"

"It's a sarcophagus, a really old one. I think she'll be dying to see it." Knox replied.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N- So the song Lucy sings in this chapter is called If You Were Here by Poe. If you can get it and listen to it while you read I think it suits the way she remembers her brother perfectly.**

13

Lucy hurried away from Fred's lab, moving her cane swiftly back and forth to avoid running into anything. She wasn't sure why but Fred's assistant Knox gave her the creeps. He'd never been anything but polite to her, but something about his voice set her nerves on edge and she was always relieved to get out of his presence.

As she walked she used her free hand to pull out her cell phone and used her speed dial to call Fred. Fred answered on the third ringing, sounding out of breath.

"Hello?" She gasped and then giggled in the background.

"Fred? Hey it's Lucy, I'm so sorry I forgot we were supposed to have breakfast this morning." She explained.

"Oh shoot, I forgot about it too! We kinda had some demon slaying that came up." Fred explained. Lucy heard her giggled again, but the sound was muffled like she was covering up her cell with her hand.

"Ok well then I don't feel bad about forgetting. You want to have lunch instead?" Lucy asked as she stepped into the elevator.

Lucy was pretty sure that there had to be some sort of magic spell going on in the elevator, because cell phone reception was always perfect, even when riding down to the underground parking garage.

"That sounds great Lucy, I got somethin ta tell ya anyway." Fred gushed excitedly.

"Well just give me a call when you get back to the office and we can go across the street to the diner if you want." Lucy suggested.

"Sounds like a plan. I'll see ya in a bit!" Fred replied, still sounding like she was going to burst at the seams with excitement.

"Fred before I forget Knox said he has something in the lab that you'll want to see." Lucy replied hurriedly before Fred could hang up.

"Did he say what it was?" Fred asked, sounding intrigued.

"He said it's a really old sarcophagus that got delivered this morning." Lucy revealed.

"Really? That does sound interesting." Fred drawled in her charming southern accent.

"So call me in a bit then." Lucy instructed.

"I will." Fred responded and then Lucy snapped her cell phone shut.

The elevator stopped two floors before Lucy's and she stepped back to make room for whoever it was getting on.

"Hey my little red haired wonder!" Lorne gushed, using the nickname he'd given Lucy two days after he'd met her.

"Hi Lorne!" Lucy replied brightly, she loved Lorne, he never treated her like she was handicapped and he was always flattering.

Lorne put an arm around Lucy's shoulder and gave her a quick hug. "Did you like your birthday party last night?" He asked.

Lucy had to fight not to wince at the memory of the birthday party that she'd hated so much.

"It was great Lorne, thank you for helping plan it." She replied politely.

"Ok kid fess up. You hated every second of it didn't you?" Lorne asked suspiciously.

"No I… How did you know?" She asked.

"Honey I'm an empath demon, it's hard to fake me out, even when you aren't singing." Lorne explained.

"Wait a minute, Lorne you're a demon?" Lucy asked, her voice rising a few octaves.

"Well either I'm a demon or I'm the greenest human being ever." Lorne joked.

"You're green?" She asked sounding amazed.

Lorne stopped laughing and gave Lucy a serious look. "Nobody told you I'm a demon?" He asked.

Lucy shook her head. "No, I just thought you were a regular human.

They had arrived at Lucy's floor by then and Lucy invited Lorne into her apartment so they could finish their conversation.

"So what kind of a demon are you?" She asked curiously.

"I'm kind of like an empath demon, I can read people when they sing. I can feel their emotions and get a sense of their destinies." He explained.

"So you can read people's futures?" She asked sounding awed.

"Well it's not that cut and dry but kind of." He answered.

"Do you think maybe you could read me?" She asked, sounding shy and unsure of herself.

"Would I read the red haired wonder? Of course I would doll, lay it on me." He replied eagerly.

Lorne waited patiently while Lucy fidgeted on the couch beside him. "You actually have to sing out loud if you want me to read you sweetie." He prompted.

"I know I'm just trying to figure out what to sing." She explained.

"Just pick something you like, something that speaks to you." He encouraged.

"Ok…" She agreed and then took a deep breath and closed her eyes, even though it made no difference to her.

**If you were here**

**You would know how I treasured everyday**

**How every single word you spoke**

**Echoed in me like a memory of hope…**

Lorne smiled at the hauntingly sweet sound of Lucy's voice and the lyrics that she sang, she might have been a dancer, but the girl had a voice. It was always refreshing to hear someone with actual talent, a thing he got to hear far too frequently in his work. He could feel just how tormented she was by her past, it was like a dark spot in the middle of her otherwise bright soul. He could also feel her love for Spike, it out shown every other emotion she was feeling and made Lorne warm to feel it vicariously.

**When you were here**

**You could not feel the value that I placed**

**On every look that crossed your face…**

Lorne could see flashes of a boy running through Lucy's head, sometimes he was smiling and dancing, in other memories he was in a bed or wheelchair. Lorne focused his reading on Lucy's future and tried to see what was coming for the young girl.

It hit him as suddenly and as forcefully as if he'd stepped in front of a city bus. His body went rigid and he fell to the floor where he began to seizure violently. In the back of his confused brain Lorne was aware of somebody screaming loudly, but it took him nearly a minute to realize that it was him. His head seemed to be exploding with the barrage of images that were forcing his way into his head. Even after Lucy's voice had cut off the images kept flowing into his already bursting head.

"Spike! Help!" Lucy shouted as she knelt next to Lorne's twitching body and tried in vain to still his flailing.

Spike ran out from the bedroom, where he'd been sleeping off his hangover. He was shocked to find Lucy kneeling on the ground besides Lorne who seemed to be having some sort of fit. His body was jerking as if he were holding onto a live wire.

"What the hell happened to him?" He asked as he hurried over.

"I don't know. I was singing for him and then all of a sudden he just fell over and started screaming and shaking." Lucy cried.

Just as suddenly as the attack had begun it ended. Lorne's body went limp and he lay in a heap on the floor. His breathing came so fast that it whistled out of him and Lucy wondered if demons could have heart attacks.

"Lorne? Are you alright?" Lucy asked with concern and put a hand on his chest, trying to feel his heartbeat.

Lorne scrambled away from Lucy's touch as if she'd burned him.

"Lorne?" Spike and Lucy both asked in concern.

"What in the hell are you?" He asked, looking at Lucy with an expression of both horror and terror on his face.


	14. Chapter 14

14

Lucy had a look of shock on her face as she processed what Lorne had said.

"What do you mean?" She asked.

"I mean I've read more humans and demons than I can count and you're not one of them." Lorne answered.

Spike pulled Lucy to her feet and then helped Lorne onto the couch. "What do you mean? Lucy ain't like anything you've ever read?" He asked with concern.

"I mean reading her just about blew my brains out, literally. Lucy how old are you?" He asked suspiciously.

"Twenty-one." She answered immediately.

"No really." He persisted.

"I'm twenty-one I swear." She insisted.

"Why are you worried about how old she is?" Spike asked, beginning to sound afraid.

"Because what I just read from her was thousands of years of history and her future is just as long as her past." Lorne snapped. "So tell me again that you're only twenty-one." He accused.

"But I am, I don't know what you saw but I'm not lying. I have a birth certificate if you don't believe me." Lucy shouted and began to cry.

The anger drained from Lorne's face as he saw Lucy begin to weep, it was obvious she was telling the truth. Plus the stuff that he'd been able to read from her past was horrible, the poor kid had had it rough.

Spike pulled Lucy to him and wrapped his arms around her, rubbing her back comfortingly, he gave Lorne an angry glare which made Lorne feel worse.

"Ok doll, I'm sorry. I believe you. But I gotta tell you little girl, you're not just some ordinary human. Whatever you're connected to is major and I think we need to tell Angel about it." Lorne said softly, hoping Lucy would stop crying.

Lucy stopped sniffling and made her way over to the couch to sit by Lorne. "Was what you saw really bad?"

"I can't really tell you. It was way too much for me to make any sense of. I just know that it was more than I've ever read before all coming at me at once." He tried to explain. "I can tell you one good thing. Whatever it is that you are, you're going to live a long long life."

"Love maybe we should go talk to Angel about this, he might have resources we can use to find out what's going on." Spike suggested.

"Do you think he'll make me leave?" She asked fearfully.

"Hell no, he's got more supernatural beings working for him than humans. So if we find out you ain't totally human it won't matter none to him." Spike assured her.

"But I am totally human, I didn't even know about any of this stuff until I met all of you." She cried.

"Maybe this doesn't have anything to do with you love. Maybe somebody's put the whim wham on Lorne." Spike suggested.

"Ok we should tell Angel." She agreed.

She was afraid that whatever Lorne read meant something bad for her, but she was more afraid that something bad would happen to Lorne because of her.

Lucy allowed Spike to lead her to Angel's office and tried to fade into the background when Spike told Angel they had to talk to him about her. She clung to Spike as Lorne explained to Angel the vast horde of images that he'd seen while reading her.

"But you don't have any idea what she is?" He asked when Lorne finished.

"No, I'm telling you it was like reading something completely new. I've never seen anything like it." Lorne confirmed.

"Lucy would you be willing to let my people run some tests on you?" Angel asked.

Spike snorted when Angel used the words 'my people', Angel rolled his eyes but didn't comment.

"What kind of tests?" She asked suspiciously.

"Well some basic physical tests, you know blood tests and such. Then I want my psychics to try reading you, see if they can make any sense of what Lorne read." He explained.

Lucy nodded reluctantly. "I guess that would be alright."

"Ok I'll set up the tests and we'll go from there." Angel decided.

Lucy's cell phone suddenly chirped from inside her jeans pocket. "Oh that's probably Fred I'm supposed to meet her for lunch."

"Lucy why don't you head to the medical lab after your lunch with Fred." Angel suggested. "I'll make sure they're expecting you."

Spike helped Lucy across the street and to the diner where Fred was waiting at a table for her. Over lunch Fred gushed about her brand new relationship with Wesley. Lucy couldn't see Fred, but she could tell that she was glowing. Lucy had thought about telling Fred what Lorne had discovered when he'd read her, but Fred was so happy and Lucy didn't want to give her friend anything to worry about. Once they finished eating the two women returned to work together. Lucy followed Fred to her lab, she was delaying going to the medical center for as long as she possibly could.

"So any luck getting it open Knox?" Fred asked as the girls entered the lab together.

"Not yet. I've been working on it for an hour, but no luck yet. I can't even get any of our scans to penetrate it." Knox answered.

"What are you guys trying to open?" Lucy asked curiously.

"Oh this stupid sarcophagus. We've been workin on it since yesterday and we can't even find where it opens from." Fred explained. "It's so old I can't wait to see what's inside it. Course it's probably just a mummy and it might just be dust by now, but it's still excitin." Fred rambled.

Lucy followed the sound of Fred's voice over and put a hand out so she could feel the sarcophagus that they'd been talking about. It was big and made of stone, but that was about all Lucy could tell from it.

"What's it look like?" She asked curiously.

"Kinda like a rock coffin, but it's got all these pretty crystals put into the top of it. The make some kind of a pattern… Oh!" Fred stopped speaking suddenly and gasped in surprise, she then began to cough.

"Fred? What's wrong?" Lucy asked. She could hear Knox hurrying over to them.

"I got part of it open. I just touched one of the crystals and it kinda popped open. It spit some air at me, just kinda made my throat tickle. Don't worry I'm not hurt." She assured Lucy.

"Fred you should probably go to the medical lab and get checked out just in case." Knox suggested. "We don't even know how old this thing is, there could be germs in there that you've never been exposed to before."

Lucy nodded. "That's a good idea. I'm supposed to go get some tests done anyway, Fred, we can go down there together."

"Why do you have to get tests done?" Fred asked.

"Just a physical, Spike is a worrier he wants to make sure I'm healthy and all that." Lucy answered quickly, hoping it was a good excuse.

"Ok lets go, but I still think you guys are getting worried over nothin." Fred muttered, but consented to go with Lucy to the medical department.

Once they arrived at the medical lab the girls were taken into separate rooms. Lucy patiently put up with doctors poking and prodding her all afternoon. They took her vital signs and then withdrew what she figured was about two pints of blood. The doctors seemed to take a special interest in her useless eyes and spent a good part of the exam running tests on them. She allowed them to run the tests, although it seemed that countless other doctors had already run these same tests on her before.

By the time she was finished Fred had already left. Lucy found her way back to the science lab and checked in with Fred, who assured her that the doctors had given her a clean bill of health. Fred excitedly told her that she was getting ready to leave and have dinner with Wesley.

Lucy decided to check in with Spike and let him know that her tests were finished before heading to her office to work for awhile. Harmony informed her that Spike was in Angel's office but warned her that the two of them had been fighting for nearly an hour.

"What are they fighting about?" Lucy asked.

Harmony shrugged and then returned to doing her nails. Lucy listened at the door for a second and jumped when it opened and Wesley emerged.

"Sorry Lucy I didn't mean to frighten you." He apologized.

"That's ok, I was kind of ease dropping. Are they still fighting?" she asked.

"I guess you could call it fighting." Wesley muttered. Lucy could hear a hint of a smile in his words.

Lucy decided that whatever the fight was about must not be that important and she decided to go ahead and interrupt them. Inside she found Spike and Angel having an argument about whether cavemen or astronauts would win in a fight.

"So what is that like the whole what's cooler pirates or ninjas?" Lucy asked with a laugh.

"Ninjas." Angel answered instantly.

"Pirates." Spike replied at the simultaneously.

"Oh wow, ok I'm gonna let you two be alone to figure this out. Spike I'll be in my office for a few hours if you need me, although I have a feeling you two might be here for awhile." Lucy said through her laughter as she left the office.

Three hours later she was deeply involved in a book about demon's who spawned through the use of virgins. Her work was interrupted by Wesley who stormed into their offices and began pulling books off shelves and piling them onto his desk. She could hear him muttering and cursing under his breath.

"Wesley?" Lucy asked timidly. "What's wrong?"

Wesley stopped his frantic book searching and took a shuddering breath.

"Fred's in the hospital. The sarcophagus infected her with something, we don't know what it is." He explained.

Lucy gasped, "Is she going to be alright?"

"Not if we don't find a cure." He answered and began speaking to the books, directing them to numerous subjects that might contain the information he needed.

"Ok just tell me what we need to do." Lucy stated determinedly and headed back to her desk, ready to do whatever it took to save her friend.


	15. Chapter 15

15

A knock on the door interrupted Lucy and Wesley's frantic research.

"Fred's awake finally." Angle informed them softly.

Lucy followed along behind the boys as they all hurried to the medical lab. She waited outside while the men all filed into Fred's room. A few minutes later Angel, Spike, Lorne, and Gunn left the room.

"How is she?" Lucy asked.

"Being her usual Fred self, trying to make all of us feel better." Gunn answered.

"She wants to see you in a minute. Her and Wes are talking right now." Spike told her as he pulled Lucy close to him and kissed the top of her head.

"We've got a few leads we're going to check up on. I'll come find you later." He said into her hair.

Lucy nodded. "I'll be in my office."

Lucy waited alone in the hallway for nearly fifteen minutes before Wesley came out. His breath came out in ragged gasps and Lucy could tell he was barely holding it together. Lucy pulled Wesley into her arms and hugged him, trying to give him any sort of comfort she could.

"Fred's strong, she'll pull through this." She whispered. He nodded against her shoulder and then pulled away.

"I've got to get back to the books, we have to find the answer to this thing now." He whispered in a haggard voice.

"I'll be there as soon as I talk to Fred." She assured him before he hurried away.

"Fred?" Lucy called softly from the doorway, she didn't want to wake Fred up if she was resting.

"Hey Lucy." Came the weak reply.

Lucy used her cane to tap her way over to Fred's bed.

"How are you Fred?" Lucy asked, but then felt stupid. Of course Fred wasn't doing well, she was dying.

"I'm ok. Kinda upset that me and Wes finally are together and now he's got see me lookin all sick." She replied with a small chuckle.

"Are you kidding, he's so in love with you, he thinks you look beautiful all the time." Lucy assured her.

An awkward silence filled the room, neither girl sure what to say.

"I'm scared." Fred admitted in a small voice.

Lucy took a seat on the side of Fred's bed and fumbled to find her hand. Fred found Lucy's hand instead and gave it a squeeze.

"I know you are. But just think you have all of Wolfram and Hart working on this. Plus the way the boys love you, they'll do whatever it takes to make you better." Lucy assured her.

"They're my heroes." Fred mumbled and then her breath evened out as she drifted into sleep.

Lucy carefully pulled her hand from Fred's and walked as quietly as she could out of the room.

When she arrived back at her office she could smell blood and gunpowder hanging on the air.

"Um Wes? Did someone get shot?" She called out, not even sure if Wesley was still in the office.

"Oh um, I shot Mark from the contracts department. But just in the knee, he'll survive." Wesley replied offhandedly.

"Why? Did he attack you?" She asked, sounding shocked.

"No, but he suggested that perhaps not everyone should be working on saving Fred." He muttered.

Lucy wasn't a fan of violence, but she could understand why Wesley had done it. Fred was one of their own, everyone at Wolfram and Hart should be doing everything they could to save her.

They worked tirelessly for the next few hours, with no results. Lucy shoved a book to the floor and let out a frustrated groan.

"These books are supposed to have everything in them! How can we not be finding this sarcophagus thing?" She yelled.

Wesley grunted in agreement as way of reply.

"We've got a lead." Angel shouted suddenly as he burst through the door, making Lucy jump.

"What is it?" Wesley asked excitedly.

"Check the books for something called The Deeper Well. It's old, probably before anything in our databases." He explained.

Wesley and Lucy immediately started muttering to the books, desperately hoping that this would be the thing they needed to save Fred.

"Cotswold! Cotswold England! That's the location of The Deeper Well." Wesley shouted excitedly as he read one of the books.

"I'll get there as fast as I can." Angel replied and hurried from the room.

Spike hurried to Lucy's office a few minutes later. "Love I'm going to England with Angel. Seems this Deeper Well thing might be dangerous, Angel's gonna need backup." He explained.

Lucy allowed Spike to pull her up and she wrapped her arms tightly around him. "Be careful." She whispered.

"Course I will be, gotta come home to my girl now don't I?" He answered sincerely.

"Love you." She whispered to him.

"Love you too." He answered and then kissed her deeply before releasing her.

"Oh and Spike?" She called. "Hurry."

Lucy continued to research throughout the night while Wesley divided his time between the books and Fred. They were able to learn a lot about the sarcophagus and Illyria, the ancient demon who was buried inside, but nothing that would help them save Fred.

"Lucy I'm leaving to take Fred home." Wesley informed her as he came back into the office in the early morning hours.

"How is she?" Lucy asked, although she knew the answer wouldn't be a good one.

"She's fading. If Angle and Spike don't return soon…" He answered in a shaky voice.

"Stay with her Wesley, I'll keep reading. Maybe I can find something else, other than this Deeper Well stuff. Maybe there's another way to save her." Lucy told him hopefully.

He squeezed her shoulder in thanks and hurried out of the office.

Spike and Angel returned two hours later. Lucy could tell the news wasn't good, just by hearing the heavy drag of their footsteps when they entered the office.

"Anything?" She asked hopefully anyway.

Neither man replied but Spike did pull Lucy from her chair and hugged her fiercely. His vampiric strength hurt as he crushed her body to his, but Lucy didn't wince away from the embrace. He drew in a shuddering breath and buried his face against her shoulder, she could feel tears wetting her neck. She began to cry as well, not even needing them to tell her there was no hope.

"We can't save her. If we draw Illyria out of her, she'll infect everyone between here and England. It would kill hundreds of thousands of people. We can't do it, not even to save Fred." Angel muttered bitterly.

"Fred would never want that." Lucy whispered.

Spike nodded against her shoulder in agreement.

"Did you find anything else?" Angel asked hopefully.

Lucy shook her head and continued to cry. "I'm sorry I tried, but I just couldn't find anything. If you can't draw Illyria back to the Deeper Well, there isn't anything else that can be done. I'm so sorry… I can keep looking." She stammered.

"Love you've done enough. Your fingers are bleeding." Spike pointed out.

"Spike's right, I'll have some other people come up and keep working. You two go home and get some sleep. I'll call you when…" Angel trailed off not wanting to finish the sentence with 'when Fred's gone.'

Lucy and Spike wearily made their way to their apartment. Once they were inside Spike insisted on cleaning and bandaging Lucy's raw fingers. When he finished he picked her up and carried her to their bed where they simply lay and held each other tightly. Neither of them slept or spoke, they just waited.

When the phone rang three hours later Spike picked it up reluctantly. He didn't say anything but simply held the phone and listened. He snapped the cell phone shut less than a minute later.

"She's gone." He whispered.


	16. Chapter 16

16

"Spike you can't keep doing this." Lucy shouted.

She ran a hand over Spike's face and winced when she felt his swollen cheek and the cut above his eye.

"She's going to kill you." She lectured.

"Love, I'm fine. I'm a vampire remember, I can handle Illyria." He responded and sucked in a hissing breath as she dabbed at the cut with a clean cloth.

"Yeah you're a vampire, and she's a demon god. She took you, Wes, and Angel down without breaking a sweat. She could kill you if she wanted to." Lucy spit angrily.

"And this has nothin to do with you bein jealous of me hanging out all day with another woman?" Spike accused.

Lucy let out a growl of frustrated anger and pushed Spike away from her. She spun around quickly and attempted to stalk out of the room. Unfortunately she misjudged where she was standing and instead crashed straight into a chair and fell to the floor in a heap.

Spike rushed over and put a hand on her arm, attempting to pull her up.

"Get off me! I don't want your help!" She yelled and pushed at him again.

Stubbornly Spike put one arm around her small bicep and lifted her easily to her feet.

"You really think this is about me being jealous of Illyria?" Lucy shouted.

"Isn't it? I know I wouldn't like it if you were hanging around some other bloke all day, well cept for Wesley, but he don't count." Spike replied.

"Illyria isn't a woman for one thing Spike, she's a monster." Lucy pointed out.

Spike sighed wearily, they'd been having the same argument for a month now and it didn't seem to be getting any better.

"You don't know her love." Spike mumbled.

"Of course I don't know her. I've never even met her. And why haven't I met her? Because you think it's too dangerous!" She yelled.

"Lucy she's too unpredictable. I won't put you in that type of danger." He replied gently.

"But not too dangerous for you? She could kill you as easily as she could me. So why is it ok for you to risk your life?" She asked.

"Because someone has to show her how to get along in the world. She's trying to find her way and if someone doesn't help her find the right path she could destroy the world." He explained.

"That's what Wesley is doing. Let him work with her." She said.

"Yeah and he's not at all biased when it comes to the demon inhabiting the love of his life's body." Spike muttered under his breath.

Lucy groaned again, but didn't continue the fight. Instead she calmly found her cane and left the apartment without another word to her lover. She was tired of arguing about Illyria and the way Illyria was using Spike as her own personal punching bag. In the month and a half since Fred's death, Illyria had taken over Spike and Wesley's lives. Spike had flat out refused to allow Illyria anywhere near Lucy, he wasn't willing to risk Lucy getting hurt by the unpredictable ex-god. The problem was that not knowing Illyria personally was making Lucy jealous of the time Spike spent with her, as much as Lucy hated to admit it. She was building up Illyria in her mind and needed to be near the real thing to see if the impression she had of Illyria was in any way close to reality.

Lucy walked aimlessly through the halls of Wolfram and Hart, she hadn't had a destination in mind when she'd left the apartment and now she didn't know where to go. She thought of heading to her office, but Wesley was undoubtedly near there, probably drunk they way he'd been most of the time in the last month. Lucy hated how much he was hurting and wanted to be a supportive friend, but being near him while he mourned Fred was just too painful. Lucy missed Fred and listening to Wesley's drunken mumblings did not help ease her pain in anyway.

Suddenly from down the hall Lucy could hear the distinct sound of Spike's footsteps and the gentle swishing of his duster. She sped up and tried desperately to think of a destination that would let her avoid Spike for just a little while.

Lucy made a quick decision and ducked into her still unused dance studio. Spike knew how much she hated the room and she figured it would be a good place to hide from him for awhile. Her footsteps echoed softly over the hardwood floor and although it hadn't ever been danced in, the room still held the scent of a studio, a scent so familiar to Lucy that it brought a tear to her eye. She moved to the locker that stood near the door and opened it. Inside hung leotards, skirts, and tights, on the floor toe shoes were lined up in a row. She picked up a pair of the shoes and ran her hands over the soft satin. She could tell just by the feel that they were in fact the same brand that she had preferred throughout her career, Angel had done his homework when setting up the room for her. She felt a sudden pang of guilt that she hadn't once even tried out the gift that her friends had so thoughtfully made for her.

Without letting herself think about what she was doing she quickly pulled off the sandals she was wearing and put a pair of the toe shoes on, winding the ribbons around her ankle and lower leg in an easy, much practiced fashion. She considered putting on the dance clothes, but figured the knee length flowing dress she had put on that morning would work just as well. After the shoes were on, Lucy's nimble fingers found the cd player beside the locker and smiled when she found that someone had put Braille labels on all the cd cases for her. There was a large collection of classical music, but also a large selection of music that she listened to regularly and she realized Spike had been the one to pick out the music for her.

After the music began Lucy walked to the bar and then stood still, not really sure what to do next. She hadn't danced once since she lost her sight and she wasn't even sure if she still could. She worried that she would hit a wall if she moved away from the safety of the bar and she worried that her balance would be influenced negatively by her lack of vision. While her mind was busy worrying over these small details her body seemed to know just what to do. With a shock Lucy realized that her hand had lightly gripped the bar and she had absentmindedly begun doing a series of stretches to warm up her muscles.

Lucy sighed with pleasure as she felt the blood begin to rush through her muscles, warming and limbering them up as she stretched. She raised a leg above her head in a split and was pleased to find that she hadn't lost as much of her flexibility as she had imagined. Once her body was sufficiently warmed up Lucy walked around the room with her hand trailing the wall, she then walked the length of the room both ways a few times and when she finished she had completely memorized the size and dimensions of the studio.

She returned to the center of the room just as a new song began on the cd player. She took a deep breath and pulled up onto her toes. Her first few steps were tentative and unsure but then the beauty of the music caught her and she forgot about everything else besides the freedom she had while dancing.

Spike spit a mouth full of blood onto the floor and wiped more of it from his nose. With a groan he pulled himself off of the floor.

"You fight poorly today. You are distracted, why?" Illyria asked as she circled him.

"Got a lot on my mind." He murmured.

"Your woman, Lucy. She is distracting you." Illyria reasoned.

"Her among other things." He confirmed. "Look we can do this tomorrow, don't feel much like getting my ass kicked today."

Spike walked out of the training room, leaving Illyria to go find Wesley or talk to the plants in the lobby, or whatever the hell else she did when she wasn't busy beating the shit out of him.

A glance at his watch informed him that he'd been in the training room for nearly two hours. He figured that he'd given Lucy enough time to cool off and set out to find her. After finding their apartment empty he headed to her office which also turned out to be empty. Next door he found Wesley drunk and muttering to himself surrounded by a pile of books and papers. Spike didn't bother to interrupt him and continued his search for his girlfriend.

An hour later Spike had searched just about all of Wolfram and Hart and was beginning to get worried. He supposed she could have left the office, but he had no clue where to look of her if she was gone. He was heading back to their apartment when it occurred to him there was one place he hadn't checked.

He headed towards the dance studio, although he realized it was probably going to be empty, he couldn't imagine Lucy going back in there by choice. When he got near the door he could hear music coming from inside and he cautiously opened the door.

Spike could just barely make out Lucy's outline in the darkened room, she obviously hadn't needed to turn on the light and the room only contained a few small windows up near the ceiling. Spike flipped on the light and was shocked by what he found.

Lucy was in the middle of the room dancing to a slow sad song. The white gauzy dress she'd put on that morning flowed around her as she spun and jumped. Spike felt his breath catch in his chest at the beauty of his love. He realized that seeing Lucy dance meant finally seeing Lucy as she was truly meant to be. Her grace and beauty was present in every inch of her body and to Spike it seemed super human the way she moved.

So caught up in watching Lucy dance was Spike that he failed to notice when someone else entered the room. It wasn't until a flick of blue caught his eye that he realized Illyria was standing beside him, just as entranced as he was by Lucy's dancing. Her head was tilted to the side as she studied Lucy.

"She doesn't move like other humans." Illyria remarked.

Lucy startled when she heard a voice. She stopped dancing and spun in the direction of the voice.

"Hello?" She called to the unfamiliar voice.

Spike realized that there was no avoiding introducing them now and prepared to do it when Illyria suddenly jolted as if she'd been electrocuted. She stared at Lucy now with a look of horror and confusion. A second jolt nearly brought Illyria to her knees.

"You? What are you doing to me?" Illyria screamed at Lucy.

Spike moved quickly to put himself between the two women when Illyria struck out at him with one arm. The force of the blow was so hard that Spike could hear the cracks of at least four ribs breaking as he flew backwards into the mirrored wall, shattering the glass. He lay in a crumpled heap and watched helplessly as Illyria stalked over to where Lucy was standing with a frightened look on her face.

Illyria jolted again and stumbled, but it wasn't enough to give Spike time to come to Lucy's aid. Illyria wrapped one arm around Lucy's throat and picked her up off of the ground. Lucy's feet kicked helplessly in the air as the ex-god held her in her powerful grip.

"I won't let you take me." Illyria hissed through clenched teeth.

With a slight twisting of her wrist Illyria snapped Lucy's neck and then dropped the dead body casually to the ground.

TBC...


	17. Chapter 17

17

Spike felt time stop as Lucy dropped to the floor. Her blind eyes stared directly into his and for the first time it felt like she could actually see him. But he knew that she couldn't see him and it wasn't because of her blindness, it was because she was dead.

He knew she was gone, the snap of her neck had sounded sharply over the soft music in the background and he'd seen the way her body had gone limp before Illyria had dropped it to the floor. He was vaguely aware of a feral guttural moaning that was coming from his throat and even less aware of the pain radiating out from his crushed side.

He tried to stand but his legs didn't seem to be working correctly, instead he settled for pulling himself towards Lucy, heedless of the broken glass that dug into his hands and arms.

Illyria was still standing above Lucy's body, but Spike paid her no attention.

He was afraid to touch Lucy, she looked so fragile and he didn't want to hurt her. It then occurred to him that nothing would ever hurt Lucy again. He scooped her up gently and cradled her against his ruined chest, rocking her softly.

There were things, so many things, he wanted to say to her, but he couldn't seem to find the words. Nothing would come out of his mouth but that same hurt animal noise that he couldn't seem to stop. He hugged her closer to him and felt how still she was, he already missed just feeling her breath against his neck when he held her. A million tiny things began flashing through his head, everything he would never have now that she was gone from his world.

He would never hear her silly little giggle that she always let out after they finished making love, the taste of her blood as it gushed over his tongue, the way she crinkled her forehead up when she was worried, how she always sneezed two times, the way her fingers would trace the angles of his face when they held each other at night.

Spike let out a scream of rage as he thought of all these things that he would never have again. Suddenly a rage so intense filled him that it blotted everything else out. He lay Lucy on the ground and jumped to his feet, his horrific injuries forgotten in an instant.

"You! You took her!" He snarled as he stepped towards Illyria.

Illyria ignored him and continued to stare down at the shell that was so recently the love of Spike's immortal life. Her body continued to shake and jolt as if electric current was passing through her.

Spike pulled back his arm and threw a right hook into Illyria's face with so much force that if she'd been human her head would have come off. Rationally he realized that to the ex-god it would most likely feel like a love tap. To his surprise Illyria flew backwards and into the locker that held Lucy's dance equipment, dance shoes scattered across the room as the locker broke.

"Why? Why did you hurt her? She never hurt you! She never hurt anyone, she was good and innocent and you took that away!" He screamed as he pulled Illyria away from the demolished locker by one ankle.

He put a knee on her chest to hold her down as he continued to pummel her face with his fists. Before whenever he'd sparred with her, Spike had always felt a slight twinge of guilt and unease hitting what he still thought of as Fred's face. Now however he saw no remaining traces of Winifred Burkle and instead saw only the monster who had taken away not only one of his best friends but also the love of his life, the reason for his existence.

"She- she was taking me… my essence… pulling it… out." Illyria gasped weakly between punches.

"She wasn't doing anything to you, she was dancing…" He raged as he beat her.

Illyria's body suddenly jerked so violently that it threw Spike off of her. He landed on the broken side of his body and felt another crunch of shattered bone. Illyria continued to spasm and jerk on the floor and suddenly a crack appeared in the skin of her forehead, Spike could see a blinding blue light shining out from inside of her.

"It was her…" She managed to gasp as more and more cracks of light appeared all over her body.

Her body stiffened once more and in a blinding flash she exploded.

Spike didn't have time to feel the pain of the explosion, but he did have time to feel relief that he wouldn't be forced to exist in a world without Lucy.

"Look I'm telling you Spike astronauts would win. You can't just discount years of human evolution." Angel shouted.

Spike jumped to his feet and looked around furiously. "What the fuck?" He screamed and looked around in confusion.

"I'm just saying evolution has to count for something." Angel replied.

"This- this… What day is it?" Spike asked, sounding close to panic.

"It's Wednesday. Spike what's wrong?" Angel asked finally sensing that something was wrong.

"Fred? Is Fred alive?" Spike asked, grabbing Angel by the shoulders and shaking him.

"Of course she's alive. She just went to lunch with Lucy remember?" Angel asked calmly like he was speaking with a crazy person.

Suddenly Angel's knees went weak and he collapsed into his chair. "Oh God, I remember now. Illyria, Fred…" He gasped in horror.

"We still have time to stop this." Spike shouted and the two vampires bolted from the office.

"Kinda like a rock coffin, but it's got all these pretty crystals on the top of it." Fred rambled.

Lucy's body stiffened in confusion as she heard Fred's voice because Fred was dead.

She had no clue where she was, the last thing she remembered was dancing in her studio and then someone picking her up by the neck. Her hand was gripping something made of stone and in an instant she realized that it was the sarcophagus. She knew suddenly that she was in the lab, with Fred before she was infected.

"It's got some kind of a p…" Fred began.

"No Fred!" Lucy screamed and lunged forward to push her friend out of the way of the infecting air.

She heard Fred hit the ground and at the same time she felt a powerful gush of air and dust hit her face and she began to cough. Lucy fell to the ground and realized with dawning horror that the puff of dust which had infected Fred, was now inside of her.

A/N- Ok I know it was really mean to bring Lucy back from the dead just to infect her with a deadly virus, but I promise I do have a plan for this story. I'm not just being mean to Lucy and Spike for the fun of it.


	18. Chapter 18

18

Fred hit the ground hard as Lucy plowed into her and she felt all of the air explode from her lungs. She struggled to pull in a breath when she heard a slight hissing noise and looked up in time to see Lucy take a face full of dust being expelled from the sarcophagus.

It was then that her memories returned to her in one great flash. She remembered getting hit with the blast of dust herself. She remembered getting sick. She remembered dying.

Wesley why can't I stay?

She heard her own dying words echo in her mind as she sat on the floor of the lab and stared at Lucy who was now sitting on the ground and coughing. Fred's body visibly shuddered as she recalled her last days on Earth.

Fred couldn't seem to get a grip on what had just happened. She remembered with perfect clarity all that had gone on and yet here she was alive, back to just before she'd been infected.

Only now she wasn't infected, Lucy had changed that. It struck Fred like a bolt of lightning. She wasn't infected any longer, Lucy was.

"Oh god! Lucy what's going on?" Fred asked.

Before Lucy could reply Spike and Angel burst into the lab, each of them yelling loudly to stay away from the sarcophagus. The stopped short and stared in wonder at the two women who were still sprawled on the floor.

Without warning Spike dropped to his knees in front of Lucy and began to cry. Lucy crawled on her hands and knees the few feet that separated them and pulled Spike into her arms.

"Spike? What's going on? I remember being in my dance studio and then, I think maybe Illyria was there, but I don't remember anything else." She asked with confusion.

Spike didn't answer, but continued to sob in short gasping breaths. He ran his hands over Lucy's hair and face and then down her shoulders and arms, trying to convince himself that she was really alive and in his arms.

Angel grabbed Fred to her feet and pulled her to his chest in a hug that nearly crushed her.

"Oh God Fred, we lost you. I'm so sorry, I'm so so sorry." He repeated over and over as he hugged her.

Fred managed after a few seconds to free herself from Angel's crushing grasp. "It's ok Angel, I know ya'll did everything you could. It wasn't your fault. But how did I get here?"

Angel shook his head, a confused look on his face. The two of them looked down to where Spike was still holding Lucy and breathing in hitching gasps of air.

"Spike please, tell me what's going on." Lucy insisted and pulled away from Spike a little.

Spike instantly pulled her back to him and stood up with her in his arms. He opened his mouth to speak but before he could get a word out Wesley ran into the lab, followed closely by Gunn and Lorne.

Wesley and Fred ran to each other and fell into one another's arms, both of them crying as they hugged each other. Wesley kissed Fred's forehead and cheeks before moving down to her lips and kissing her deeply.

"You didn't leave me." She whispered into his ear.

"But, you left me." He cried. "How did you come back?" He asked.

"I think that's what we'd all like to know." Angel replied. "Does anyone know what's going on?" He asked.

"I think I might." Spike volunteered. "Illyria killed Lucy." He informed them, his voice cracking painfully to say it out loud.

He heard the horrified intake of breath from the others in the room, but Spike kept his eyes focused on Lucy. He was scared that if he looked away for even a second she might disappear from his life again. He didn't have to look up to know that Wesley was looking at Fred the same way.

"Why? Why would she kill Lucy? She didn't even know her." Lorne asked.

"Who is Illyria?" Fred asked.

Spike listened vaguely as Angel explained to Fred about the demon god who had inhabited her body after she'd died. He couldn't seem to stop touching Lucy, just to make sure she was real. He held her wrist in one hand, taking comfort in her steady pulse beating under his fingers. He could feel her trembling in his arms and figured that it was because she was upset to find out she'd recently died, even if it had lasted only a few moments.

"Ok Spike we need to know everything that happened when Illyria attacked Lucy." Angel instructed.

Spike told them all about finding Lucy dancing and the way Illyria had reacted when she'd seen Lucy. He tried to describe the tremors and jolts that had seemed do pass through her and the way she had been severely weakened after she'd killed Lucy. He told them about the strange cracks of light that had appeared along her body and the way she had exploded.

"It happened fast, but I think that explosion was enough to kill all of us and by 'us' I mean all of Wolfram and Hart, maybe even all of L.A." He finished.

"I was worried something like that may happen." Wesley replied. "She had too much power for one human body to contain, even with the changes that happened before Fred died. That much power was probably close to the equivalent of an atomic explosion. Given her ability to alter time, if she caused an explosion of that magnitude it could have been enough to send us back in time." He theorized.

"First real piece of amazing luck we've gotten in a long time. The smurf from hell explodes and sends us all back in time to just the point we needed to stop any of it from happening and let us save Fred." Gunn pointed out cheerfully.

"No we didn't stop it." Fred informed them sadly.

"Oh God Fred… did it infect you again?" Wesley asked, sounding petrified.

Fred shook her head and began to cry. "No, not me. Lucy pushed me out of the way and she got hit." She sniffled. "I'm so sorry Lucy. This is all my fault, I'm so so sorry."

Lucy had buried her face into Spike's neck when Fred had begun to speak. Beside her she could feel Spike's entire body go rigid as he took in what Fred was saying.

"It wasn't your fault Fred. I should have moved out of the way, it was my fault." Lucy assured her friend.

"No!" Spike suddenly shouted, so loudly that Lucy let out a shout of fear and jumped out of his arms. "No." He repeated in a softer tone of voice. "This isn't happening. I already lost Lucy once today, it's not happening again." He stated firmly.

"Spike it'll be alright. We have more time now, we know more than we did when it was Fred. We'll find some way to stop this." Angel assured him.

The rest of the group gave the couple similar word of comfort and assurances, but Lucy could hear the sadness and the doubt in their voices and she knew it was probably hopeless.

"No!" Spike yelled. "We aren't going to do research and listen to Wesley throw around bloody useless theories while Lucy dies. We know exactly how to get that thing out of her so that's what we're going to do!"

"Spike we can't. We can't kill that many people just to save Lucy." Angel stated.

Spike threw himself at Angel with a scream and punched him in the face. "What if it was Buffy? Or Cordelia? Could we do it then?" He accused.

"Of course not!" Angel yelled in return and pushed Spike off.

Spike lunged at Angel again and the two vampires began fighting viciously around the lab, destroying what was probably thousands of dollars of equipment in the process. The rest of them stood and watched in fascinated horror as they fought.

"Um Spike, Angel." Fred said quietly. "Spike! Angel!" She shouted when they didn't respond the first time.

"What?!" They shouted in unison, pausing their attempts to kill each other.

"Lucy's gone." She pointed out.

Everyone turned to look and saw that Fred was right. Lucy had slipped out of the lab while they were distracted by the fight. The two vampires instantly broke apart, their anger forgotten.

"We have to find her. She's got to be devastated and scared." Fred pointed out.

Spike ran from the room before anyone else could respond.

"Ok everyone spread out and look for her. Check her office and the dance studio, Spike is probably checking their apartment." Angel instructed.

Spike ran to the elevators, heedless of the confused employees he was pushing out of the way. He knew before he got there that their apartment would be empty, but he checked anyway. Once he had confirmed that she hadn't come home Spike stood helplessly in the living room and tried to imagine where she would be. He had picked her cane up from the floor before he'd run from the lab and now he gripped it tightly in his hands. Since she was without her cane Spike knew she wouldn't leave Wolfram and Hart.

Spike had never had premonitions or visions before, but it hit him suddenly with startling clarity where Lucy was all of a sudden. He bypassed the elevators and slammed into the stairwell, taking the stairs four at a time.

He hurled though the door that led to the roof and then cringed back inside when it occurred to him that the sun was still high in the sky. Standing in the shadows he glanced around the rooftop and immediately saw Lucy standing ten feet away from him at the edge of the roof.

The wind was whipping fiercely since they were so high up, Lucy's hair blew back from her face and caught the sun, making her normally dark red hair look as if it were on fire. Her blank blue eyes were fixed out in front of her and also caught the sunlight, turning them so blue that it seemed like they were glowing.

"Lucy." Spike said calmly, afraid that if he startled her she would fall. "Love, what are you doing up here?"

"I can stop her Spike. If I jump Illyria won't have anywhere to go. She'll die with me and everyone will be safe." Lucy explained in short hiccupping gasps.

"No Lucy this ain't the way love. Please just come back inside." He begged.

Spike wanted nothing more than to run at Lucy and pull her away from the edge, but the killing rays of the sun kept him stuck just out of reach. He cursed his uselessness and had to force himself to stop before he ran out and grabbed her anyway, even if it meant killing himself in the process.

"Please Lucy just step back. I can't come out there love, the sun is still out. Please just come back into me, follow the sound of my voice." He instructed, still keeping his voice calm and even.

"No Spike, I won't let that monster out not when I have the power to stop her. I'll be dead by this time tomorrow anyway Spike, please just let me do this." She cried.

"Ok love if you want to jump, then jump." He said suddenly. "But I'm jumping with you." He declared.

"No!" Lucy yelled and nearly lost her balance. She quickly threw her arms out and regained her footing. "Spike no. I won't have you die because of me."

"Lucy I'm only living because of you, don't you know that? When Illyria killed you, I died too. And when she exploded and finished me off, the only thing I felt was relief because I didn't have to be here on this goddamn hunk of rock without you. So if you think you're jumping off that ledge without me, then you got another thing coming. Course I'll just be ashes by the time we hit the ground, but that's ok. So I'm coming out, we better make this quick so I have time to jump before I go up in flames." He replied certainly and took a step into the sunlight.

"No!" Lucy shouted as she heard and smelled Spike begin to burn. Moving with more grace and direction than any blind person should be able to, she spun around and jumped away from the ledge and hurled herself at Spike, knocking him back into the shadows.

"I won't let you die because of me, I won't." She whimpered and ran her hands over him to check and make sure that the sun hadn't hurt him badly.

"Then you can't die either. If you jump, I jump love, that's just the way of it." He insisted. "So you gotta promise me right now that you're gonna fight this thing. You're gonna fight this thing with every cell in your body and you're not gonna give up, no matter what." He said.

Lucy hugged Spike tightly and pressed her lips to his. "I'll fight Spike. I'll fight for you." She promised.

**A/N- So I just finished this chapter and want to get it posted. But I took a pain pill and now I'm all loopy, I tried proofreading for mistakes, but it was very difficult:) Sorry if there are some mistakes in this one.**


	19. Chapter 19

19

Spike led Lucy back to their apartment, her hand resting lightly on his shoulder so he could guide her.

"This reminds me of that first night when you walked me home after I got fired." Lucy remarked.

Spike chuckled. "Yeah back when I thought you were just some damn annoying American broad. Well I guess I was right about the annoying part." He joked.

She giggled and lightly smacked his arm. "Look who's talking." She shot back.

Spike pulled out the cell phone Angel had given him and called him to let the others know that he'd found Lucy and that she was safe. Angle assured him that they were all working on finding a way to cure Lucy. Spike thanked him and then snapped the phone shut.

As soon as the door to their apartment had shut Lucy jumped onto Spike, kissing and nibbling his neck and ears.

"Love you really think this is the most appropriate time to be doing this?" He asked between kisses.

"I think it's the most appropriate time ever. If I only have a few days left on Earth I plan on using them the way I want to. And making love to you is on the top of that list." She insisted.

Spike wanted to argue, to insist that she wasn't going to die, but he never wanted to lie to her and he was afraid that by telling her she wasn't going to die, he might be doing just that. Instead he let himself be distracted by the movement of Lucy's tongue as it traced patterns from his ear down to his collar bone.

He picked Lucy up so that her legs wrapped around his waist and walked them into the bedroom. He put her onto the bed and stood over her as she stripped off her clothing. His eyes drank in the sight of her pale creamy skin, her long dancer's legs, her slender graceful hands and fingers, and her perfect round breasts that he loved to fondle and lick. Lucy held still and although she couldn't see what he was doing, she knew that he was admiring her body.

Spike undressed as he stood above Lucy, dropping his clothes into a messy pile on the floor. Lucy sat up on her knees when she heard his clothes hit the floor and reached out to touch Spike's body. She ran her hands all along him, seeing him in the only way she could. Her beautiful fingers traced the lines of his muscles. She began at his head running her hands though his short cropped hair, her fingers then trailed down to his face and she smiled as she felt the familiar contours of his face.

Next she ran her fingers along his neck, feeling the tendons that stood out and tickling him when her fingers ghosted over his Adam's apple. She ran her hands down the length of both of his arms, squeezing his biceps and holding up his hand so that they were palm to palm. She linked her fingers with his and continued her exploration of his body with her tongue since her hands were no longer available.

She trailed her tongue down his chest, swirling her tongue around first his right nipple and then his left. She licked down the line from his belly button to the beginning of his pubic hair.

Spike's breath hitched and he groaned in frustration when she stopped before going any further south. Lucy lifted her head and gave Spike a wicked grin. She then ducked her head and in one quick motion took his entire length into her mouth.

He let out a shocked moan of pleasure and threw his head back in ecstasy. Her tongue swirled and flicked his cock making his body shake with sensation. After only a few minutes he had to step back and stop Lucy's actions before he completely lost control. He put his hands on Lucy's shoulders and pushed her back onto the bed.

Putting his hands on her knees, Spike gently pushed Lucy's legs apart so that he could reach her center. His tongue found her clit and he licked it softly just barely making contact. Lucy made soft moans of protest and pushed herself closer to him. Spike smiled at the wonderful torment he was putting her through. When he decided he'd teased her enough Spike pressed his tongue firmly to her clit, moving his tongue up and down in a slowly building rhythm. Lucy's entire body quivered as his tongue worked its magic and soon an orgasm rocked her body.

Spike moved up so that he was lying above Lucy and before her orgasm had even finished he buried his cock inside of her. Lucy screamed with pleasure at the intrusion and locked her legs firmly around Spike's back, pulling him closer so that she could feel even more of him inside of her. They quickly built to a frantic pace and when Spike felt Lucy cum for a second time, he lost control as well and they climaxed together.

Afterward they both lay panting and smiling as they enjoyed the post-coital glow they had achieved. Soon Spike drifted into sleep, Lucy was tired as well, but she forced herself to stay awake. She knew she had maybe two days left and she didn't plan on wasting any of that time on sleep.

"No! Illyria stop! Lucy no, please no!" Spike moaned in his sleep.

"Shh… Spike you're having a nightmare." Lucy comforted and shook Spike to wake him up.

Spike awoke with a jolt and cried out, "Lucy!"

"I'm right here Spike. It's alright." She assured him.

Spike pulled her close so that her head rested on his chest. He ran a hand through her long hair and nuzzled his face into her hair so that he could breathe in her scent.

"Maybe Angel and I should go to England again. Maybe there was something we missed." He suggested.

"Spike we both know that if there was something to be done, you guys would have found it when Fred was sick. If I'm going to die, then I'm going to die I can accept that. But if I do have to die, I want my last days to be with you, I don't want you leaving me to go halfway around the world chasing miracles that don't exist." Lucy answered.

Spike fought back a sob. "You aren't going to die Lucy. Remember you're going to fight." He reminded.

Lucy nodded against his chest. "I know Spike. I'm going to fight." She assured him.

Spike busied himself for the next hour cooking dinner for Lucy, making sure to cook all of her favorite foods. Lucy spent the time in the shower. Spike was comforted by the sweet sound of her voice singing while she washed.

"How are you feeling love?" He asked with concern, as Lucy came into the kitchen.

"Fine. I always thought dying would hurt more than this." She quipped attempting a joke. She sat down at the table and clipped her long wet hair up into a bun.

"So what do you want to do now?" Spike asked after she'd eaten. If Lucy was going to die, Spike was determined to make her last few days the best he possibly could.

"I think I want to dance." She decided, sounding slightly unsure of herself.

"Thought you hated that dance studio?" He asked.

"I thought I did, but then when I was dancing in it yesterday. Or well I guess a month from now, time travel is confusing. Anyway I realized how much I missed it." She explained.

"Can I watch? You were so beautiful when I saw you dancing, I want to see that again." Spike requested. "If you don't like people watching though, I can understand."

Lucy laughed out loud and patted Spike's leg. "Spike I use to dance in front of thousands of strangers every single night. I definitely don't mind if my true love watches. But no laughing if I smack into something." She warned with a laugh.

"You got yourself a deal there love." He agreed.

As soon as Lucy began dancing again Spike was instantly caught up in the beauty of it, just like he'd been before Illyria had destroyed his world.

Lucy seemed to completely lose herself in the music, forgetting everything, but the next dance step. She seemed to dance not just with her body, but with her entire being. She had a look of peace on her face that Spike had never seen on her before. All the turmoil going on currently in her life and all the tragedy that had happened in her past didn't seem to exist when she danced.

She danced for nearly an hour before she stopped and tried to catch her breath. Sweat dripped down her forehead and neck and her face was red with exertion.

"Oh I am out of shape!" She exclaimed as she held onto the bar.

"Love you just danced for an hour without stopping and you think you're out of shape? I'd have been out of breath half an hour ago and I don't breathe!" He exclaimed with a chuckle.

Lucy laughed and hugged Spike. "Oh it just feels so good to do this again! I wish I hadn't waited so long to try out my studio." She said regretfully.

With that one statement they were both reminded of the limited amount of time Lucy had left. It felt as though there was a ticking clock following them around, eating up every precious second that Lucy had remaining.

The cd changed then and the steady beat of a waltz filled the room. Spike could see Lucy's face light up when she heard the music, she was obviously a fan of waltzing. Without waiting for her to ask, Spike pulled Lucy into his arms and began dancing with her.

He moved her in graceful circles, twirling her with confidence. Lucy laughed with delight.

"Spike you know how to waltz?" She asked, sounding shocked.

"Love I was born in the 1850s. Of course I know how to waltz." He explained.

They fell into a comfortable silence, Spike enjoying the feel of Lucy in his arms. She felt tiny and delicate, but Spike knew that she was anything but. She allowed him to lead as they danced following him with ease.

Lucy suddenly stiffened in Spike's arm and missed a step. Spike stopped dancing and looked at her with concern. "Lucy?"

Lucy opened her mouth to reply but was stopped by a spray of blood that poured from her mouth. Spike watched in horror as she jerked and seized in his arms before she fell limp and lost consciousness.


	20. Chapter 20

20

Spike sat in a chair pulled up to the bed and watched Lucy as she slept. Her brow was furrowed so that tiny lines appeared between her eyes. Usually it was a pouty look that Lucy reserved just for him when she was annoyed, but now Spike could tell that it was a look of pain, even in her sleep.

It had been two days since Lucy had collapsed in the dance studio and she was still managing to hang on. No one could figure out why Illyria's infection was taking so much longer to spread through Lucy than it had through Fred. Angel and Wesley were convinced that it all led back to what Lorne had read from Lucy and was connected to the way Illyria had freaked out when she'd seen Lucy. The problem was no one could figure out what the connection was. Angel had had his psychics read Lucy nearly a dozen times, but with no success and none of the research Wesley had done had uncovered any connection between Lucy and the demon god.

A soft knock on the door interrupted Spike's depressing thoughts. He let go of Lucy's hand softly and crept from the room quietly so he wouldn't wake her. He opened the door to find Wesley standing in the hall, looking haggard and tired, but also saner than Spike had seen him in quite a long time.

"I thought maybe you needed some company." Wes offered.

Spike opened the door wider and walked into the kitchen, not waiting to see if Wes followed him or not. He pulled two beers from the fridge and set one on the counter and popped the other one open, swallowing half of it in one gulp. Wesley took the other and did the same.

"So how is she?" Wesley asked.

"Sleeping now." Spike answered and nodded his head in the direction of the bedroom.

"That's good, she should rest as much as she can." Wesley replied.

Spike rubbed his eyes tiredly and finished off his beer. "She doesn't want to sleep, she told me she doesn't want to miss any of her time by sleeping, but I just can't stand to wake her up and see her in pain anymore."

"Fred was the same way, she didn't want to sleep because she was afraid she might miss someth…" Wesley trailed off and looked uncomfortably at Spike.

Spike had to bite back on the anger that bubbled up inside of him then. He knew it wasn't Wesley or Fred's fault, but somehow seeing them together and whole again was like pouring salt in a wound to him. He didn't want to admit it and he hated himself for even thinking it but every time he saw Fred part of his mind would whisper, "It was supposed to be you."

Spike would never say it out loud or even admit that he wished it were Fred instead of Lucy, but deep inside of his soul he couldn't help but wish it. Knox had chosen Fred to be Illyria's vessel, it was meant to be her, not Lucy. In the days since Lucy had been infected they had questioned Knox at length, digging into his brain for any information that may save Lucy.

Knox was utterly devoted to Illyria and proved hard to crack. Spike guessed it was good that he and Angel both had so much experience with using pain as a motivator. He didn't take pleasure in hurting people now that he had a soul, but Spike did take pleasure in hurting Knox. He considered every scream he could pull out of Knox as payback for the screams that he'd heard come from Lucy. But despite their efforts to question him, Knox still maintained that the only way to save Lucy was to take the sarcophagus back to the Deeper Well and allow Illyria's essence to become airborne. Spike was willing and ready to take that risk, but Lucy wouldn't even consider it and Spike loved her enough to respect her wishes, even if it meant losing her.

Although Spike didn't intend on losing Lucy for long. When Lucy died and Illyria took her place, Spike planned on following her into death. He had it all planned out, as soon as Lucy was dead he was going to head to the rooftop of Wolfram and Hart and wait for sunrise. He'd burned once before for a women he had thought he loved. He figured it would be easy to burn for a woman he truly and deeply loved.

"Alex! Alex please don't die!" Lucy suddenly screamed from the bedroom.

Spike ran into the room so quickly that he was nearly a blur to Wesley's eyes. Wes followed at a more human pace and found Lucy sitting up in bed clutching the sheets in here hands, her blind eyes moved frantically around the room like she was trying hard just to see something. Spike sat beside her and took her shoulders in his hands, shaking her gently to wake her up. Wesley was dismayed to see that Lucy had the same splotchy appearance that Fred had had just before she'd died. He couldn't be sure but if he were to guess he didn't think Lucy had more than a few hours left at most.

"Love, wake up. It's just a dream." Spike said gently as he shook her.

Lucy suddenly took a deep breath and the frightened look on her face was replaced by one of confusion.

"Spike?" She asked.

"I'm here, love. You were just having a bad dream." He explained.

Lucy nodded and let Spike lay her gently back down in bed. "How long was I asleep?" She asked.

"Not even an hour love. Try and sleep for just a little bit longer." He urged.

"I don't want to sle…" She protested even as she drifted back into sleep.

Spike waited until he was sure she was sleeping soundly again and then he left the room, gesturing for Wesley to follow him.

"Who's Alex?" Wesley asked curiously as they each opened another beer.

"Her twin brother." Spike answered.

"Oh the one who was killed when she was blinded." Wesley replied, remembering the details of Lucy's tragic past.

"I'm so sorry about this entire thing Spike. Lucy doesn't deserve this, neither do you." Wesley sympathized.

Spike nodded and gave Wesley a tight forced smile. "Yeah well you and Fred didn't deserve it either. Just never forget how lucky you both are alright? Appreciate everyday you have with Fred." Spike muttered.

"I'll be thankful every single day for having Fred back in my life. And I think I'll hate myself everyday for knowing that my happiness came as such a high price to you and Lucy." Wesley replied honestly.

"S'ok, I don't blame either of you. She doesn't either. That scumbag psychopath Knox on the other hand…" Spike trailed off, his hands clenching into tight fists.

"Well I'd better go. If either of you need anything, just call. We're all here for you." Wesley reminded.

Spike nodded in thanks and went back into the bedroom without saying goodbye or walking Wesley to the door. Lucy woke up as soon as Spike sat down, despite how quite he was.

"How long was I asleep this time?" She asked frantically.

"Just a few minutes love, no worries." He assured her.

"Will you come lay with me?" She asked.

"Course I will. I mean any opportunity I get to feel you up I gotta take right?" He joked and she giggled a little.

Spike climbed carefully into bed and pulled Lucy to him. Lucy stiffened in his arms and cried out in pain. Spike instantly let her go and felt like his non-beating heart was tearing in half to know that he'd cause her pain.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." He repeated tearfully.

Lucy took a deep breath and shook her head to quiet him. "No it's alright. I'm just so cold and your skin is so cold…" She tried to explain in hitching breaths.

"Here I got an idea." Spike said.

He picked up his long black coat from where he had flung it carelessly in a corner. Moving slowly and with extreme caution Spike wrapped Lucy up into his coat and then held her with the leather in between them to shield her from his cold skin.

"Mmmm… this feels good and it smells like you." She said appreciatively and sniffed the time-softened leather.

"It's all yours as long as you want to wear it." He insisted.

Lucy snuggled down into the leather coat and leaned her head against his chest.

"Do you think there is a heaven?" She asked suddenly.

"I know there is love. In fact I know a girl who's been there." He replied.

"Do you think my brother is there?" She whispered.

"Well I didn't know him, but if he was as good a man as you say he was then I don't got any doubts he's there." Spike assured her.

Lucy sniffed and trembled a little in Spike's arms. "I won't go to heaven. I don't even care that much, I just wish I could see my brother again." She cried.

"Love why don't you think you'll go to heaven? You're the kindest person I've ever known. Not to mention the sacrifice you made to save Fred's life. I'd say you've got an automatic in." Spike asked.

"Remember what Illyria said about Fred's soul. It got all burned up to create Illyria, there wasn't anything of Fred's soul left to go to heaven. So there won't be any of my soul left either." She explained.

Spike didn't know what to say to this. He wanted to comfort her and tell her that everything would be alright, but he just couldn't do it.

"I'm so glad I found you Spike." She declared, abruptly changing the subject.

Spike snorted and shook his head.

"What you don't believe me?" She asked.

"If it wasn't for meeting me none of this would have happened to you. It's all my fault." He said bitterly.

Lucy kissed Spike's cheek and snuggled closer to him. "This isn't your fault my love. And I wouldn't trade meeting you for anything. I'd rather die a thousand deaths than to never have known you." She insisted passionately.

Spike swallowed past the lump in his throat and kissed Lucy's head. "I love you Lucy." He managed to choke out.

Lucy suddenly stiffened and began to shake. Spike tried to hold her tightly to control the shaking, but she screamed out in pain at even his lightest touch. Her head rocked back and forth on the pillow as her body trembled.

"It's so dark. Please I don't want it to be dark anymore." She cried, sounding confused. "Can't dance in the dark." She whimpered and then began to sob.

Spike cried with her, feeling more helpless than he ever had in his life.

"Spike?" She cried out.

"Right here love." He assured her.

Her body relaxed finally and she struggled to take a breath. Spike picked her up and cradled her in his arms. She reached up a shaky hand and traced her fingers across his face, like she loved to do. Her fingers were so cold that they felt icy even to Spike's skin.

"I wish I could really see you, just once." She murmured regretfully.

"You see me better than anyone ever has, love." He whispered.

She took in a short gasping breath and was then quiet for nearly half a minute. Just as Spike was beginning to think she was really gone, she pulled in another breath. He didn't have to be a doctor to know that she only had moments left.

"Love you, love you, love you." He repeated over and over into her ear.

Her body stiffened once more and she pulled in a final jerking breath. Spike watched in shock as Lucy's stark blue eyes changed. They were the same icy blue color they'd always been, but suddenly two black pupils appeared in the center of them.

A bright amazed smile lit up Lucy's pale face and for the first time in their relationship Lucy's eyes met Spike's straight on.

"Spike." She whispered happily. "I can see you."

It jolted Spike to realize that Lucy was really truly seeing him with her own eyes. He smiled down at her and cupped her face in his hands. She held his gaze for another few seconds before her body went limp and her eyes glazed over.

"Lucy?" Spike asked, praying for a response. "Come on my love, breathe!" He ordered. "You have to fight Lucy, remember? You promised me! You promised!" He shouted as he shook her.

Her body suddenly jerked so hard that Spike was pushed out of the bed. He landed on the floor with a hard thud. The bed above him shook and jerked as Lucy's body was wracked by spasms. Spike waited until the movement stopped before he stood up.

Despite being in a different body it was impossible for Spike to not recognize Illyria instantly. Lucy's once dark red hair was now a dark blue color, tinged purpler than it had been when she'd been in Fred's body. Illyria held her arms out in front of her, she ran one hand up and down the other arm as she examined her new body.

She jumped to her feet so quickly that she was a momentary blur. Whipping around quickly she faced Spike and smiled, then she kicked out one leg and sent Spike flying into a wall.

"Yes this will do nicely." She growled and smiled.


	21. Chapter 21

21

Illyria pulled off Spike's black coat and dropped it to the floor without a second glance. She then pulled off the silky black pajamas that Lucy had been wearing. Standing naked next to the bed Illyria stretched and bent her body, getting used to her new limbs.

Spike watched in disgust as Illyria used Lucy's body as her own. He couldn't understand how Wesley had been able to be kind to Illyria just because she'd been in Fred's body. Spike felt no connection to the blue demon standing before him, no emotions other than hate and revulsion.

"Illyria." He whispered bitterly.

Illyria cocked her head and looked at Spike curiously. Her nostrils flared as she took in his scent.

"Vampire." She spit like she was saying a dirty word. "Your blood reeks of humanity, you have a soul." She accused.

"Yeah, ain't I the lucky one. I get a soul and you rip it to pieces by killing the woman I loved." He sneered.

Illyria looked down to study her naked body. "The shell, you loved it." She replied.

"Her! I loved her! And you destroyed her, you burned her away from the inside out." He screamed and launched himself at Illyria.

She used one hand to deflect his attack and he flew into the long row of windows that made up one wall of the bedroom. The windows rattled loudly in their frames but didn't shatter. Spike lay dazed on the floor, his head tilted so he could see outside. It was dark out. He could barely make out a few stars in the haze of L.A. smog. Near the horizon Spike could see a faint lightening on the horizon. He realized that sunrise was coming soon and felt relieved that he wouldn't have to wait much longer until he could join Lucy in death. Lucy's words about heaven and her soul being burned away came back to him and he realized that death probably wouldn't reunite him with Lucy. He didn't care that death wasn't a way to bring him to Lucy, Spike still wouldn't exist on this earth without her.

He pushed himself off the ground with a grunt and gave Illyria a nasty glare.

"Well as fun as this has been, I've got an appointment with a sunrise to get to." He joked bitterly and turned around to walk from the room.

"You are a vampire, you cannot face the sun without burning." She stated, sounding confused.

"That's kind of the point." He said over his shoulder.

He stopped once to bend down and pick up his coat from where Illyria had dropped it. He slung the coat on and it fell into place, conforming to his body with the ease that came from having worn it for nearly three decades. Once the coat was on he felt more like his old self, he felt ready to meet the day.

Spike was aware of Illyria following behind him as he hurried through the halls of Wolfram and Hart and up the stairs that would take him to the roof.

"You know you will die if you go into the sunlight?" She asked.

"Yep." He answered briskly.

"Why do you seek to die?" She asked.

Spike stopped on the stairs and whirled around so suddenly that Illyria was forced to abruptly stop.

"That body you're in. The shell, like you called it. That was the love of my damn long life. She was the kindest purest soul I've ever known and I've had to watch you kill her twice now. I'm done, I won't live without her. I won't live to watch you walking around in her body like it belongs to you. You are a goddamned parasite and I won't watch you corrupt Lucy's body with your filth!" He shouted, not caring if his words caused Illyria to anger and strike out and kill him. He hoped that she would.

Instead of getting angry Illyria looked confused. "Lucy? Oh I remember her now. Her world was dark, her human eyes were blind. Why would you choose to love a human? Especially a human whose body was so flawed?"

Spike let out a snarl and punched Illyria in the face. His fist felt like he'd punched a wall made of steel and she didn't even blink. Spike couldn't understand why she wasn't fighting back, he wished she would.

"Why do you say I killed her twice? I only took her body once." Illyria asked, completely ignoring the hit to her face.

Spike sighed and ran a hand over his hair. "You were already here once before. You were inside another girl named Fred, she was my friend and you killed her. You were here for over a month and then one day you saw Lucy and you freaked out and you killed her, you snapped her neck."

"You lie. How would all this have happened and I have no memory of it?" She interrupted.

"Because when you killed Lucy you exploded. I don't know why, but you burst into this bright light and exploded. It sent us all back in time. Back to just before you infected Fred. Lucy pushed her out of the way and she got infected instead. So yeah I've watched you kill her twice." He finished explaining and started heading back up the stairs.

Illyria continued to follow him as he walked. He wished she would just go away and leave him be to do what he was set on doing.

"I don't believe you. My power is too great for me to die." Illyria protested.

Spike had reached the door that led to the roof by that point. He turned around once more and let out a frustrated groan.

"Look you stupid bloody git. I don't care if you don't believe me. I don't care if you decide to destroy the whole goddamned world. I don't give a flying fuck if this entire place crashes down around you when you explode again. Just leave me the fuck alone!" He yelled and pushed at Illyria trying to force her back down the stairs.

Illyria wasn't moved by his push and she continued to stare at him curiously. "Your actions are very strange. Vampires do not love. I do not wish you to die, you interest me. A vampire with a soul is a rarity, I wish to study you."

Spike laughed bitterly and pointed towards the stairs. "Well you're in luck, there's another vampire with a soul right down stairs. His name is Angel, his name is on the door of the big office. Go study him."

He stepped outside and turned so that he was facing east where the sky had just begun to turn pink from the rising sun. He wasn't even aware of the fact that he was crying until he felt the breeze cooling on the wet trails that the tears had left. Illyria walked over and ran one finger down his cheek.

"Your grief makes you insolent. You should be groveling in my presence." Illyria snapped.

Spike scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Not bloody likely."

Spike turned away from Illyria and faced back towards the sunrise. He held his arms out and closed his eyes, waiting for the pain of burning. He wished that the physical pain would blot out the tearing pain of losing Lucy, even for just a few seconds. Too bad he'd already burned once before, he knew that pain and he knew it was nothing compared to the raging pain in his heart.

The first rays of light touched his body and he could smell the smoke rising from his flesh as he began to smolder. His left hand burst into flames with a loud popping noise.

"Oh God! Spike no!" Illyria suddenly shouted.

Spike had just enough time to contemplate that the shouting he heard didn't sound like Illyria, but sounded just like Lucy. Before he could think of what that meant he lost himself to oblivion.


	22. Chapter 22

22

"Spike? Spike can you hear me?"

Spike could hear his name being called, but it sounded like it was coming from miles away and underwater. He tried to respond in some way, but he felt disconnected from his entire body. He tried to open his eyes, but saw nothing except darkness. He tried to talk, but his throat felt tight and constricted and he couldn't even make the tiniest of squeaks. His limbs felt leaden and when he tried to twitch his fingers it frightened him to find that he couldn't even do that much.

Someone grasped the back of his neck, forced his head up and began force feeding him blood. The actions were done gently but every movement sent waves of agony through his body. Soon the blood was pulled away from his lips and his head was laid back down gently.

"Just try and sleep Spike." The voice instructed. Happily Spike complied, he was anxious to sink away from the pain that coursed through every cell of his body.

When he awoke again his mind was more aware than he had been the first time. He could tell from the smell of the room that he was in some sort of medical facility. He could hear the steady dripping of an iv and he could feel a needle sticking into his left wrist. This time when he tried to move his hand he was relieved to find that his hand clenched into a fist at his command. He still couldn't open his eyes and he realized it was because something was wrapped around his face.

"Spike? Are you awake?" Angel asked from beside him.

"Wh- Where am I?" He croaked, in a voice that sounded as if he'd been gargling flaming pieces of barbed wire and broken glass.

"You're still at Wolfram and Hart, in the medical lab. You've been here for two days." Angel explained. "Do you remember what happened?"

Spike tried to answer, but instead started coughing harshly. The coughing sent waves of pain radiating through every part of his body. Angel quickly put a glass to Spike's lips and more blood was poured down his throat.

"Human blood?" Spike asked when he could speak again.

"From the blood bank, it'll help you heal faster than animal blood." Angel replied.

Spike knew he must be really fucked up if Angel was willingly giving him human blood.

"So do you remember what happened?" Angel asked once more after Spike had finished all the blood.

"I was on the roof, Illyria was there. The sun was rising, I started to burn and then I don't remember anything else." Spike answered.

"Why did you do it Spike?" Angel asked, he actually sounded concerned for Spike.

Spike let out a bitter chuckle. "Guess it seemed like a good idea at the time. How did I get here?"

"She saved you." Angel replied.

"Illyria." Spike spit.

"No, Lucy. Lucy saved you. Spike she isn't dead. We still don't know how it happened, but Lucy didn't die when Illyria took her over." Angled gushed.

Spike laughed bitterly once more. "You're really buying that Angel? We both saw her pretend to be Fred. She's doing the same thing now. That's not Lucy, I watched Lucy die."

Angel grabbed Spike's wrist and gave it a comforting squeeze. He did it gently, but the slight touch sent waves of agony up Spike's arm. "No Spike, I'm telling you this is something different. It is Lucy."

Spike turned his head away from Angel's voice and sighed. "It's not. That demon bitch is playing some sorta game and you're falling for it."

"Look we can talk about this later, you need to rest." Angel said then, not wanting to upset Spike by arguing with him further.

"So what's the diagnosis? How come my eyes are all wrapped up?" Spike asked.

"I'll send the doctor in so he can talk to you." Angel replied and Spike heard the scrape of a chair as Angel stood up.

"Spike I'm Dr. Jenkins." An unfamiliar voice said a minute later.

Spike nodded slightly to show he was listening.

"Well I've got to say, you're quite the survivor. I was convinced you were dead when the young blue woman brought you in." The doctor complimented.

Spike grunted. "So what's the damage doc?"

"Well you were burned severely, over almost you're entire body. Another few seconds in the sunlight and you would have turned to ash, it was very close. Thanks to your vampire healing abilities you're healing relatively quickly. Your skin has already healed, with no scarring, although I would suspect that you're new skin will be extremely sensitive for awhile, until the nerves have time to fully regenerate. Amazing healing abilities you vampires have." The doctor mused.

"If I'm healing so fast how come you've got my eyes all bandaged up? And how come I can barely move anything?" Spike asked.

"Well externally the healing is happening quickly. Skin regeneration is a fairly simple process. You were burned internally as well and that will take longer to heal. Your muscles, tendons, nerves; all of it must regrow and knit back together, that's going to take some time. It's a much more complex system. I would say you'll need at least two weeks before you're fully healed. I've bandaged up your eyes to keep them protected from the light until they've had time to fully heal, wouldn't want you burning out brand new half formed retinas." The doctor finished.

"So I'll live?" Spike asked.

"As much as any vampire lives, yes. You were very lucky." Dr. Jenkins answered.

"Oh yeah, I'm lucky alright." Spike quipped sarcastically.

"The young woman who saved you is outside, she's been here for two days straight. She'd like to see you. Can I send her in?" The doctor asked.

"Hell no. I don't want to see her, ever." Spike answered determinedly.


	23. Chapter 23

23

"I don't want anymore fucking tests!" Lucy shouted loudly and pushed away the nurse who was trying to attach an electrode to her forehead.

Lucy barely pushed at the nurse but the poor women flew backwards nearly ten feet into a tray of medical equipment, sending instruments skittering across the floor loudly.

Lucy's mouth dropped open into an 'O' of surprise. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." She apologized.

Angel hurried over and helped the nurse up from the floor. "Maybe you should wait outside for awhile." He suggested. The nurse nodded and hurried from the room, looking relieved to be away from the strange blue girl.

"I'm sorry Angel I didn't mean to hurt her." Lucy apologized again, her voice cracking with regret.

Angel patted her back, in what he hoped was a comforting manner.

"Hey Lucy it's alright. She's fine. It's just going to take awhile for you to adjust to all of this." He soothed.

Lucy laughed bitterly and pulled away from Angel. She pulled off the wires that were attached to her head and chest and climbed down from the exam table she was sitting on.

"You think I'm going adjust to this? I'm a freaking blue demon. I have all these powers I can't control and the man I love won't even see me because he's convinced I'm not me!" Lucy shouted angrily.

She backed up as she ranted and crashed into a wall containing shelves full of microscopes. The shelves clattered to the floor loudly and the plaster wall cracked with her impact. Using her hands Lucy felt the wall and cursed again when she found the large crack she'd put into it.

"Plus I'm still fucking blind! I have all this power and I still can't see! It's goddamn ridiculous!" She continued ranting.

She paced back and forth in front of Angel, careful this time not to crash into anything. Her senses had heightened so much from her new powers that it did make being blind easier. When she concentrated she could actually hear the air bouncing back from her footsteps whenever she got near an object, giving her a fairly accurate mental sketch of her surroundings. Wesley said it was almost like the echolocation that bats used. Lucy didn't really like being referred to as a bat, but she did enjoy the newfound freedom her powers gave her. She might not be able to see, but her other senses were so much more powerful she could get around without her cane or anyone leading her.

"I have to get out of here Angel, I feel like I'm going crazy being cooped up in here! It's like I'm a prisoner or something." She whined.

Angel chuckled a little. "Ok I don't want you feeling like we're holding you prisoner. Why don't you go ahead and stay in your apartment. But I don't want you moving around the offices much, I'm sorry but with your powers being as unpredictable as they are, I want you to try and limit your interaction with people as much as possible." He instructed.

"Ok I'll stay in my apartment I swear." She said happily and hurried towards the door.

"Oh and be back here in the morning so we can finish up these tests." He called after her.

"I got it boss!" She yelled over her shoulder as she hurried out the door.

Lucy headed straight to her apartment just like Angel had instructed, but as soon as she got there she felt just as confined as she had in the science lab. She paced back and forth like a caged animal. Spike's scent was all over the apartment and it was driving her mad. She walked to their bed and held his pillow to her face, inhaling his scent and trying to pretend that it was Spike she held.

Frustrated she threw the pillow onto the bed, forgetting about her new strength. The pillow exploded upon impact and sent down feathers bursting into the air. Lucy couldn't see them but she could feel each tiny feather as it landed on her skin, her skin was that sensitive now. She turned from the blizzard of feathers and ran out of the room. She didn't care about Angel's directions to stay in her apartment or the fact that Spike didn't want to see her, Lucy had to see Spike.

The medical lab was all the way on the other side of Wolfram and Hart from her apartment. Lucy took her time getting there. She walked slowly and carefully, scared that her out of control powers would surface at any moment.

As she walked she dwelled again on the last time she'd been with Spike. Lucy remembered being in agony, her body burning from the inside out. Her skin hurt so much that even a brush of air felt like red hot razors passing over her flesh. Spike had been holding her in his arms, whispering comforting words into her ear.

Then suddenly out of nowhere, sight. Six years of blindness and suddenly she could see again. At first her mind had been so overwhelmed she couldn't make sense of what she was looking at, but after a few seconds she could make out a face. She ran her hand over Spike's features and the familiar contours matched what she was seeing. She remembered being shocked by his platinum blond hair, nothing like the hair she had imagined him having, but it suited him perfectly. And then Spike was going, falling down a long tunnel as her life slipped away. Then there was nothing.

The next time she opened her eyes, she knew instantly something was wrong. Her body was gone, she couldn't feel it at all. Her eyes looked around the room without her directing them. Then she heard herself speak, but it wasn't her talking at all. It was at that moment Lucy realized Illyria had taken over her body. Lucy had expected to die, but being trapped inside her own head while Illyria ran her body was so much worse than death.

She screamed and shouted inside her own mind, desperate to give some sign to Spike that she was still in there. Her panic grew worse when she heard Spike's plan to meet the day up on the roof. Illyria followed Spike up to the roof, curious as to why a vampire would choose to end his life because of a human. Lucy concentrated everything she had on giving Spike some sign to let him know she wasn't dead, but nothing would happen.

Smoke wafted away from Spike and brought the smell of burning flesh to Illyria and Lucy. Lucy's frantic attempts to take back control of her body reached a fevered manic level.

It was when Spike burst into flames that the world suddenly stopped. A group of pigeons flying overhead froze and looked as if they were floating in mid-air. Their wings beat up and down so slowly that it was almost imperceptible. The flames on Spike's body licked his flesh in slow motion.

Lucy had just enough time to take in the frozen world before her sight went black once again. At the same time that her eyes went blind again, Lucy realized she was once again in charge of her body. She didn't stop to question why it had happened, she just ran to where she knew Spike was standing.

She didn't remember much of what had happened next. It all seemed like a nightmarish blur. She had grabbed Spike and pulled him into the stairwell, out of the sunlight. Using her own naked body she had smothered the flames, it didn't even occur to her until later that her own flesh hadn't been burned at all. After that she had carried Spike's burned body down to the medical lab.

Angel had watched the security tape footage and told Lucy that she and Spike weren't even visible on the tapes, she'd been moving so quickly they appeared as only a blur. After getting Spike to the med lab, Angel and Wesley had taken her to the science lab and questioned her for hours, convinced that she was still Illyria. It had taken her nearly a full day to convince them that she was still herself. After that they began the tests, trying to find out why she hadn't died and why she could now hear Illyria in her head.

Lucy forced herself to stop remembering that horrible day and concentrated on just enjoying the freedom of not being stuck inside a science lab anymore. She trailed one hand along the wall, helping to guide herself. She didn't really need to do it anymore it was more a habit than anything else. As she walked her hand brushed over the tall grass that grew as decoration around the perimeter of the lobby.

Illyria's constant monologue in Lucy's brain was cut off as soon as she touched the soft blades of grass. A chorus of voices filled her head, blocking out any other thoughts. She laughed out loud in delight at the beautiful singing of the plants. They were happy and joyous in a way that no human could ever feel. Her heart felt lighter and freer than it had since before that horrible day when her world had been obliterated by a mad man. The plants were all connected to each other, they all worked and grew for each other.

Lucy broke contact with the grass and the voices instantly disappeared. As soon as she touched the plants again the voice returned, their singing filling every corner of her mind. She could have stayed there all day listening to the beautiful chorus of the growing plants, but reluctantly she let go and started off again towards the medical lab. She made a mental note to tell Wesley about hearing the plants, she figured he would be interested in studying it.

When she arrived at the medical lab she cracked the door open and listened intently for a few seconds. She couldn't hear any heartbeats or breathing coming from within so she figured it meant that Spike was alone in the room. She slipped quietly into the room, closed the door, and then stood still, not really sure what she should do. Spike's scent was coming from her right so she carefully made her way in that direction.

When her hand bumped into the edge of his mattress she stopped and waited to see if he would say anything.

"Spike?" She whispered.

He didn't respond so she figured he must be sleeping. Using her foot she felt around until she located the leg of a chair. Once she was sitting she found Spike's hand and held it gently. His skin was newly grown and baby soft as she ran her fingers over it. Just being able to touch Spike again was a relief to Lucy. She dropped her head onto his bed and closed her eyes, managing to fall asleep for the first time in nearly three days.

"Lucy?" Spike mumbled an hour later when he woke up and felt her familiar hand clutched in his own. It felt wonderful for a few seconds before he remembered everything that had happened.

He pulled his hand out of her grasp and sat up in his bed quickly. "Get out!" He ordered.

"Spike please!" She whimpered.

Spike had to admit that it sounded exactly like Lucy, but he wasn't going to believe that this was his love.

"It's me Spike I swear, you have to listen to me." She pleaded.

"Illyria get out. Whatever sick game you're playing go play it with people stupid enough to believe your lies." He spit angrily.

She began to cry harder and Spike felt her head fall down onto the bed near his hip.

"Please… Spike I'm so scared right now and I don't have anyone. I need you. Please you have to believe it's me." She begged.

Spike felt like his heart was being torn from his chest. Hearing what sounded like his soul mate pleading for him was torture, but he just wasn't willing to believe that he could possibly be lucky enough to have lost and then miraculously gotten his love back twice in less than a week.

"What will it take to convince you that I'm not Illyria?" She asked through her tears.

"Ain't nothing you can do to convince me. I saw Lucy die, watched her fight for her life and lose and I watched you invade her like some goddamn infection. So don't sit there and cry and pretend to be her, I saw you kill her." He answered.

"But I didn't die. I was in there the whole time. I was listening when you told Illyria you were going to kill yourself. I was screaming for you to stop and you couldn't hear me. It was the worst moment of my life. But then you started to burn and I think that's what brought me back. I wanted to save you so badly it gave me the strength to fight Illyria. You saved me again Spike. Always being my knight in shining armor." Her voice cracked with emotion and she couldn't continue.

Spike listened to her sobs and despite his resolve to not be drawn into Illyria's lies he found part of himself was desperate to believe her. The cries sounded genuine, he had to admit that much. But how could Lucy have possibly survived Illyria's invasion?

"I'm still me Spike. I'm still Lucy. You have to believe me, so much has happened to pull us apart, but nothing could. You can't be the thing to keep us apart. Remember the first night we met? I thought you were the biggest asshole and you thought I was a spoiled brat? And then I invited you up to my place and we made out on my couch for so long that you almost caught on fire when the sun came up?" She reminded.

Spike found he was smiling, despite himself.

"Remember the first day in our new apartment? We made love up against those big windows in our bedroom with the sun coming up. You told me that morning that you would always be my eyes, and then you described the sunrise for me. Please Spike you have to know that it's me!" She yelled.

Without warning Lucy shot forward and pressed her lips to Spike's, kissing him like they'd been separated for years instead of a few days. The instant her lips touched his Spike knew that she was Lucy. No one could make him feel the way she did. Of course if anyone could beat Illyria it would be his Lucy. He should have had more faith in her than that.

"Oh God Lucy. I'm sorry, I should have known it was you." He whispered between kisses.

Lucy was laughing and crying at the same time, "Of course as soon as I start making out with you, that's when you believe it's really me."

Spike laughed as he continued to kiss her. He ran a hand threw her long, now purple hair.

"Hey love why do you have feathers in your hair?" He asked as he pulled down feathers from her long strands.

A/N- Sorry it's been so long since I've updated. Life got busy with the holidays and what not! Hope everyone had a great holiday season and Happy New Year!!!! Reviews are awesome!!!


	24. Chapter 24

24

Wesley stared down at Fred as she slept. He couldn't seem to stop watching her, part of him was still convinced he was going to lose her again. The other part of him just loved her so much that he couldn't think of anything he'd rather look at than her lovely face.

He loved everything about her. The way she slept with her brow furrowed sometimes, so it looked like she was thinking hard even while she dreamed. He loved the way she tucked her thumbs inside of her fists whenever she dreamed. He even loved the way her hair would go all wild and unruly as she tossed and turned.

As if she could feel his eyes on her, Fred opened her eyes and blinked sleepily up at him.

"Hey there handsome, what are you doing?" She asked and then yawned widely.

"Just looking at the most beautiful woman in the world." He replied and bent down to kiss the tip of her nose.

"Wes, I ain't the most beautiful woman in the world. I ain't even the most beautiful woman who works here. I mean have you seen Lucy? She's gorgeous, all that long red hair she has… well had." Fred replied and trailed off awkwardly. Wesley and Fred had yet to discuss the fact that Lucy had been the one to be infected instead of Fred. Fred felt so guilty that her friend had been the one to suffer so much in her place.

"It wasn't your fault Fred." Wesley stated, as if reading her mind.

"I was the one who was supposed to get infected. Knox sent that coffin to me. I hate that all this happened to Lucy and Spike cause of me." She argued.

"Fred it all worked out. Lucy didn't die, if it had been you we would have lost you again." He pointed out.

Fred nodded and wiped away a stray tear that had slid down her cheek. "I know. I just hate that they had to go through all that. Lucy's had enough bad things happen to her, she didn't deserve this."

Wesley grasped Fred's chin gently in one hand and forced her to turn her face so that she was looking straight into his eyes.

"You didn't deserve it either Fred!" He stated vehemently. "You know that don't you?"

"Wes I worked with Knox every single day. I even went out on a couple of dates with him. I should have known he was evil, I should have sensed something." She whispered.

"Fred, none of us could have known. Lorne even read him and never got anything bad from him. It wasn't your fault, you have to stop beating yourself up about this. Lucy gave us a miracle, we have to just appreciate it and move on with our lives. Our lives together, maybe our lives together officially and legally." He stuttered.

Fred gave him a confused look. "Legally? I don't know what you're talk…." Fred stopped talking instantly when she saw Wesley pull a ring box out of his night table drawer.

"I don't want to waste anymore time by being a coward. I love you Winifred Burkle and I want to be with you forever. Will you marry me?" He asked.

Fred sucked in a surprised breath and then her face broke into a huge beaming smile.

"Course I will! I've just been waitin for you to ask." She squealed and held out her hand so that he could slip the diamond ring onto it.

She pounced on him then, kissing him deeply and pulling off articles of clothing at the same time.

"I love you too Wesley." She whispered between kisses.

A/N- So this was just a short little fluffy chapter, but I wanted to show that Fred and Wesley weren't going to waste any of their time together anymore. Don't forget the review button, its right down there just waiting for you to push it.


	25. Chapter 25

25

"Fucking bloody goddamn…"

Lucy chuckled a little when she heard a glass shatter and Spike's tirade of profanity. She hurried to the kitchen where Spike continued to rant. From the coppery smell Lucy figured that Spike had been trying to heat up a cup of blood but had dropped it.

"Do you need some help?" She asked nicely, trying hard not to sound patronizing.

"No!" Spike shouted just before another glass shattered. "Ok well maybe I do." He admitted.

Lucy grabbed Spike's hand and helped him find the table. Once he was sitting she set about cleaning up the spilled blood and shattered glass. Another benefit of her newfound powers was that even cleaning up the glass bare handed presented no problems to Lucy's flesh.

"Don't know how you do this all the time love." Spike commented. His voice was muffled and Lucy got the mental image of Spike sitting slumped at the table with his head down.

Lucy shrugged as she continued to wipe up otter blood. "I guess people can adjust to anything given enough time. Lucky for you, you won't have to get used to it, only two more days and then the doctor says you can take those patches off."

"Can't bloody wait." He muttered more to himself than to Lucy.

Lucy threw a wad of bloody paper towels into the garbage can and then moved to the table. She pushed Spike up from his slumped position and sat down on his lap. He buried his face into her hair and hugged her tightly.

"Spike? Is it going to bother you when you see me in two days?" Lucy asked hesitantly.

"Why would it bother me love? You're one a the most beautiful women I've ever seen." He complimented.

Lucy froze in Spike's arms. She thought Angel or someone else would have told Spike about her transformation.

"What's wrong?" Spike asked, feeling her body tense up in his arms.

"Angel didn't tell you?" She whispered. "Spike I don't look like me anymore. I mean I guess I do kind of, but I look like Illyria now too. I'm all blue and stuff." She explained uncomfortably.

Spike shifted a little and then tightened his hold on Lucy. "I didn't know love. I'm glad you told me, before I saw you I mean."

"Are you going to hate looking at me now?" She asked her voice quivering in fear.

Spike picked Lucy up then and set her down on the table top. He stood up and kissed the top of her head. Using the tips of his fingers he traced the shapes of her face, just like she so often did to him. Her skin felt just as soft as it ever had, her long hair was just as silky, her lips just as full. He kissed her long and hard, taking her breath away.

"Lucy, I love you, it don't matter to me if you're blue or purple or as green as Lorne." He assured her.

Lucy threw her arms around Spike's neck and kissed him back every bit as passionately as he'd kissed her a moment before. She slipped one hand up and wrapped it around the back of Spike's neck, pulling his hair a little the way he liked. Spike groaned in pleasure and pushed himself closer to the table as Lucy wrapped her legs around his waist.

"Maybe we shouldn't be doing this Spike." She said suddenly and began to pull away from him.

"Why not?" He asked sounding dismayed.

"You just got out of the hospital and I don't want to hurt you." She explained.

Spike scoffed. "Lucy I'm a bloody vampire, you couldn't hurt me if you wanted to."

As an answer Lucy picked up the sterling silver candlestick from the middle of the table. She squeezed the candlestick with one hand. The metal let out a protesting squeal and bent into a small ball of crumpled metal the size and shape of her fist. She then placed the ball into Spike's hand.

"If I can do that to a candle stick, I think I can hurt you." She pointed out.

Spike fingered the ruined metal and let out a sigh. "Guess you got a point there love. How bout we just take it nice and slow then?" He suggested.

"You'll tell me if I hurt you right?" She asked uncertainly.

"Yes love, I promise I'll tell you if you hurt me." He assured her.

Lucy pulled him back close and began to kiss him again. Her teeth scraped against his neck as she moved up to lick and nibble at his ear lobe.

"You know if you want to hurt me a little, that'd be ok." He whispered into her ear.

In response Lucy bit his neck a little harder and raked her nails down his back. His groan let Lucy know that was exactly the kind of hurting he liked.

Afterward they both lay sprawled naked on top of the kitchen table.

"We should probably wash this table before we invite everyone over for dinner again." She said with a giggle.

"Guess you wouldn't be wrong about that." He agreed.

Once she'd finished putting her clothes on she heated up another mug of blood for Spike and pressed it into his hands.

"I have to head down to my office for awhile. Will you be alright?" She asked as Spike sipped on his blood.

"Think I can keep myself outta trouble for a bit without a babysitter." He assured her.

Lucy left the apartment but didn't go to her office like she'd said she would. Instead she headed towards the small group of cells that Angel's girlfriend used on the nights when she turned into a werewolf. Lucy slipped inside when she knew that the hallway was empty.

The scent inside was one she knew well.

"Hello Knox, I think it's time you and I had a talk." She sneered poisonously.


	26. Chapter 26

26

"Illyria." Knox sighed in pleasure.

Lucy walked over to Knox's cell and wrapped her fingers around the bars.

"Not quite." She snapped.

"Lucy?" He asked sounding both shocked and horrified.

"You guessed it. I guess your little plan failed big time didn't it?" She questioned sarcastically.

"How?" He asked in a trembling voice.

Lucy sighed and tightened her fingers on the bars. "I was hoping you could tell me that. What in the hell did you do to me?"

She listened as Knox moved away from the back wall and stepped towards her. He breathed harshly, but said nothing. Since being blinded Lucy had developed a keen sense that let her know when people were staring at her. She could feel that tingling sensation strongly now and knew that Knox was studying her.

"You should be dead." He finally stated.

"Yes I know that. I was hoping you could tell me why I'm not." Lucy reminded.

"What happened? When you turned I mean, what happened?" Knox pondered.

Lucy didn't answer right away, she just didn't like the idea of doing anything this zealot maniac demanded of her.

"Look if you want me to try and figure out what happened I'm going to need some of the details." He pushed.

"Alright." Lucy snapped. "I died. It was three days after I got infected."

"Three days? It should have only taken half that time." He interrupted, pondering to himself.

"Right before I died I could see, just for a second and then I died, I think. But I didn't stay dead. I woke up a few seconds later and Illyria was in control of my body. I was stuck inside my head, I could think, but I couldn't move or control my body at all. Illyria followed Spike up to the roof, he was trying to kill himself in the sunlight. Right after he started to burn I went blind again and at the same time I regained control of my body and saved Spike. Now Illyria is the one stuck inside my head and I want to know how to make her go away, or at least how to make her shut the fuck up." Lucy finished.

"Illyria is in there right now?" Knox asked, emotion filling his voice for the first time since they'd been talking.

Lucy nodded. "Yes, she never stops. She wants out, she wants me to die so she can have my body. I just want to make her go away. Can you help me do that?" She pleaded.

Knox laughed sarcastically. "Why would I ever help you do that? I love Illyria more than anything in this world. If I could find a way to get your soul out of your body, I would do it in a heartbeat."

Lucy let out a growl of frustration and yanked at the bars she was holding onto. A loud screech of metal rang through the room followed by a clanging as the two bars ripped free in her hands. Lucy dropped the two four inch pieces of bar and walked out of the room.

She was disgusted with herself for letting Knox get to her like that and even more disgusted by just how evil Knox was. All Lucy wanted to do was go back to her apartment, curl up in bed with Spike and sleep.

Too bad Illyria wouldn't let her do that. She'd only slept for about an hour since she'd returned from the dead. Since then every time she shut her eyes Illyria would increase her bitching and demands, making it impossible for her to get any rest.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Spike turned over in his sleep and reached for Lucy, wanting to pull her close and hold her while he slept. The cold empty bed next to him brought him fully awake. He opened his eyes and saw that the bed was indeed missing his woman.

He climbed naked from the bed and set out to look for Lucy. He had to stop for a second and appreciate the view out of their bedroom windows. A full moon hung large and heavy in the sky, reflecting back to him numerous times in the windows of the other office buildings outside. Everything was tinged a cold bluish silver, making the world seem alien and strange.

Spike hadn't really ever stopped to appreciate a view before, unless it was the view of a naked woman. But after not having any sight for nearly two weeks Spike couldn't seem to get enough of the beauty of the world. Maybe it was losing his sight and regaining it, or maybe it was having firsthand knowledge of what the love of his life dealt with every day, but Spike was determined to never take his sight for granted again.

He found Lucy sitting on the kitchen table. She had her knees pulled up to her chest and her ankles crossed and like him she was completely nude. Spike walked nearly silently into the room, but he knew Lucy was probably aware that he was there, although she didn't give any indication that she was conscious of his presence. Staying true to his promise not to take vision for granted Spike took a few minutes to appreciate the beauty of his love.

When he'd had the eye patches removed two days before he'd been scared that seeing Lucy looking like Illyria would change the way he felt about her, despite the assurances he'd given her to the contrary. His fears were put aside as soon as he saw her, she might be blue now, but she was still his Lucy.

The full moon light shined through the kitchen windows, making her already blue skin seem to glow. Her long hair fell around her, slightly covering her breasts, making an occasional peak of nipple even more erotic than if he could fully see both of them. One of her slender arms was wrapped around her legs and the other was brushing gently over the potted fern that decorated their kitchen table. Her head was cocked to the side, her blank eyes staring off towards the living room, and a peaceful smile made her already beautiful face even lovelier.

"Can't sleep love?" He asked with concern, it had been two weeks since her change and Spike hadn't seen Lucy sleep once.

She shook her head and let out a tired sigh. "She just won't be quiet." She muttered.

Spike ran a comforting hand through her hair. "So what are you doing out here on the table?"

"Talking to the plant." She replied and then giggled at how silly it sounded.

She had already explained her ability to talk to plants to the group, but Spike still didn't understand it completely.

"So what's it saying to you?" He asked curiously.

"Well she doesn't really talk in words, more like she just shares her feelings with me." Lucy explained.

"The fern is a she?" He asked.

Lucy giggled and nodded.

"Does she have a name?" He wondered.

"No, plants don't think in anyway like we do. She might be one fern but she's connected to all the other plants in the world. It's one big network of life. I don't know how it works but its' beautiful. Illyria likes it too, when I'm talking to the plants is the only time she's ever quiet." Lucy explained.

"How about we take the plant in the bedroom then? You could keep your hand on her and try to fall asleep." Spike suggested.

Lucy nodded thoughtfully. "That might work."

Spike slipped his arm under Lucy's legs and scooped her up so that he could carry her to the bedroom. It amazed him to know that Lucy was so strong now that she could crush him with one hand if she wanted. She felt so tiny and fragile in his arms, he could feel her bones so clearly under his hands, they felt so delicate like he could break her if he wanted too.

Lucy picked up the potted plant and cradled it in her arms while Spike carried her. He laid her down gently in bed and watched as she set the plant on her nightstand. She turned onto her side and kept one hand on the bright green leaves of the fern. Instantly her eyelids drooped and she yawned widely.

"I think it's actually working." She sighed happily.

Spike sat next to her and watched as she drifted off to sleep for the first time in two weeks.

Her peace only lasted for a few seconds before Lucy's eyes flew open and she began to shriek. Her screams echoed off the walls of their apartment and carried more pain and fear than Spike had ever heard before.

"Lucy? Lucy what's wrong?" He shouted over her terrified yells.

His only answer was the continuing screams of agony that seemed to be pulled from her very soul.


	27. Chapter 27

27

Angel watched as Spike sat beside Lucy. His face was haggard and drawn tight with worry. Lucy's head flailed back and forth on the pillow. Her mouth was open as she tried to scream, but her voice had given out hours ago and all she could manage was an occasional squeak of pain and a constant pitiful whimpering. They had tied her arms down after she'd begun to scratch at her own face. Angel hadn't thought that the straps would hold, god knew she was strong enough to break them if she wanted. But so far she hadn't even attempted to break free of the restraints.

"How much longer can this last?" Spike whispered.

"I don't know." Angel admitted.

His medical staff had examined Lucy over and over, run as many tests as were possible. Their exams were limited due to the fact that they couldn't penetrate her skin with needles, x-rays and cat scans couldn't read her either. From what they had been able to do it seemed as though whatever was happening to Lucy wasn't physical, but mental.

"Lucy, love, please try and tell me what's wrong." Spike begged again.

Angel shuddered as he watched Lucy whimper and tremble. He'd never seen anyone look so distraught and afraid before.

"Fuck this." Angel finally snapped and stalked out of the room.

Spike barely raised his head when Angel cursed and ran from the room. He didn't know if Angel had an idea or if he was simply tired of watching Lucy struggle. Whichever one it was didn't bother Spike, his entire being was focused on Lucy, the whole building could have burned down around them and he wouldn't have given it a second thought.

His concentration was broken a few minutes later when Angel slammed back into the room, dragging Knox along by the back of his neck. Angel's face had shifted into his vampric one and he looked ready to tear Knox's throat out. He dragged Knox over to where Lucy lay and forced him to look down at her quivering form.

"What the hell is happening to her?" Angel shouted.

Knox stared down at Lucy but didn't answer.

Angel shook him savagely, making Knox cry out in pain. "I don't know! I swear I don't know!" He cried.

Knox was thrown roughly to the floor where he sat in a heap, panting and holding the back of his neck. Spike barely looked up during the exchange. Angel glared down at Knox and flexed his fists itching to beat the living shit out of the wormy man who'd done so much damage to the people he cared about.

Wesley walked into the room then, strode straight over to Knox and plunged a syringe into his arm.

"What the hell did you just give me?" Knox asked, his voice wavering with fear.

"Sodium Pentathol." He answered. "Truth serum. I figured this way we can at least know for sure that you've done everything you possibly can to help Lucy."

Knox swayed and nearly fell over, even though he was already sitting down. His eyes glazed over and became glassy and a small crooked smile made him look drunk. A thin line of drool trickled down his chin.

Wesley pulled Knox to his feet and plopped him down in a chair on the other side of the room from Lucy.

"Now do you know what's happening to Lucy?" Wesley asked.

Knox shook his head like a child, he swung his legs back and forth and giggled a little. "Nope don't got a clue."

"Do you have any idea why Lucy didn't die when Illyria took over her body?" He asked.

Knox's head bobbed down towards his chest and then back up, making him look like a bobble head doll.

"They're bound together." Knox slurred.

"Bound what do you mean?" Angel asked.

"It's the only explanation. Their souls are bound together, probably from a spell." Knox answered.

"Do you know who could have put that kind of a spell on her? Or why?" Angel pressed.

Knox shrugged and giggled again. "No idea. They would have to have had part of Illyria. Some of her essence, but not as pure as what came from the sarcophagus and infected her. Then they would have to do a binding spell, putting part of Illyria's soul into Lucy. It's the only way Lucy's soul could have survived the change, if they were already bound together."

Knox seemed exhausted by talking so much and his head again fell forward onto his chest, but didn't come back up. In less than ten seconds he was snoring.

Angel pushed the intercom button on the wall and requested that security come remove Knox and take him back to his cell. Once he was gone the three men exchanged looks.

"It has to be the man who attacked her and blinded her. He tried doing a binding spell on her." Spike said.

"What was his name again?" Angel asked.

"Jason Richards." Spike sneered, venom dripping from his voice when he thought about the evil bastard who'd hurt his Lucy so badly.

Wesley nodded and hurried from the room, eager to start his research.

"I'd better get back to work, will you be alright alone with her?" Angel asked Spike.

Spike nodded without tearing his eyes away from Lucy's face. "I have to be alright, for her."

Angel still couldn't believe the look of love and utter devotion on Spike's face. He'd never imagined Spike would be someone to fall so madly in love with anyone. It had definitely made him a better man, a man who Angel actually liked and respected, as much as he hated to admit it to himself.

"Spike?" Fred called from the doorway a few hours later.

Spike blinked for the first time in what felt like hours and raised his head.

"Would it be alright if I came in?" She asked nervously.

Fred had been trying to avoid Spike and Lucy since everything had happened. Her guilt over the pain they'd both gone through because of her was eating her up inside. It almost made it worse that neither of them blamed Fred in anyway.

"Course you can come in." He said quickly.

Fred stepped into the small medical room and closed the door quietly behind her. She was shocked to see the state Lucy was in. Lucy's arms and legs had been strapped down to the bed, her head rocked from side to side and her eyes frantically darted around the room in fear. The worst part was seeing Lucy trying to scream despite the fact that she had no voice left.

"Do you think maybe I could be alone with her for a little while? I'd understand if you don't want to leave her, but there's some stuff I want to tell her." Fred asked shyly.

Spike took a moment to consider. Finally he nodded and stood up from his seat.

"There's something I gotta get anyway. Come get me if anything changes." He instructed and then left the room after giving Lucy one more concerned look.

Fred sat down in the chair Spike had been occupying. She brushed a strand of hair off of Lucy's face and then gave one of her hands a gentle squeeze.

"Hey Lucy." She began even though she knew it probably sounded lame.

"I'm so sorry about all of this Lucy. You shouldn't be havin to go through all this pain cause a me. If I could take it away from you I'd do it." Fred whispered sincerely, her voice thick with emotion.

"You're gonna beat this thing whatever it is. Your one a the strongest people I ever met and Spike loves you too much to let you go. So you just gotta stay strong and you'll beat it. Wherever you are just remember that you got lots a people here who care about you. So if you start to feel lost you just remember that we're all here to help you find your way back."

Fred stood up and kissed Lucy's forehead, hoping that she was giving her friend some sort of comfort. Spike opened the door then and walked back into the room. In his hands he was carrying a small potted fern.

Fred wiped the tears from her face and stood up so that Spike could have his chair back. On her way out she hugged Spike tightly.

"She's gonna be ok Spike. Lucy'll beat this, whatever it is. We just gotta be patient and give her all the support we can. She'll come back to us." Fred comforted.

Spike nodded and hugged Lucy back. "Thanks Fred."

Once she was gone Spike unstrapped Lucy's arms and waited to see if she would start trying to hurt herself again. When she remained still Spike sat down and took one of her hands in his own. Lucy had calmed down quite a bit since he'd left, she was no longer fidgeting and she wasn't trying to scream anymore. It almost scared Spike how still she was. He remembered when Buffy had gone catatonic after Glory had taken Dawn, Lucy looked the same as Buffy had then.

Shaking his head to clear those frightful thoughts Spike lifted Lucy's hand up and placed it on the leaves of the plant. Listening to the plants had given her so much happiness before, he hoped it would help her now. Her hand was totally limp and lifeless as he held it to the fern.

"Hey there love. I was thinking maybe this would help you feel better, plus I bet she misses you." He whispered.

Spike laid his head down on the bed near Lucy's shoulder and closed his eyes. He kept her hand on the leaves and allowed his mind to drift.

A sudden sharp intake of breath broke through his reverie sometime in the middle of the night. His head snapped up and he looked to Lucy's face. She blinked and licked her dry cracked lips.

"Spike?" She mouthed, unable to make any sound.

"I'm right here love. I'm going to get you some water, just stay still." He instructed.

He lifted Lucy's head and helped her sip the cold water that he'd brought. She coughed and cleared her throat after she finished drinking.

"Love can you tell me what's going on? Are you in pain?" He asked.

Lucy's face crumbled and she began to cry. Spike gathered her in his arms and held her tightly.

"Oh god the things she showed me. So much pain, so much death." Lucy croaked in a hoarse whisper.

"What do you mean love?"

Lucy coughed through her sobs. "Illyria she showed me… everything."


	28. Chapter 28

28

"What did Illyria show you love? I don't understand." Spike asked.

"She showed me what she did when she was a god. I never knew that much pain could exist. I- I never knew." Lucy whimpered.

"Why would she do that?" Spike asked, horrified of the prospect of seeing what Illyria had done during her reign of evil.

"To force me out." She whispered and began to cry harder.

Spike could see that her body was shaking like a leaf on a branch in a hurricane and her breathing was uneven and strained. He climbed onto the bed with her and cuddled Lucy against his chest. He tried hard to stop her shivering, but she was so much stronger than he was. He settled for rubbing soothing circles on her back and whispering calming words into her ear.

Soon her breathing evened out and became regular and the death grip she'd had on Spike's arm loosened. Once Spike was convinced that she was truly asleep he carefully slid off of the bed and snuck towards the door.

He eased the door open and slipped out without waking her. Outside her room Fred and Lorne sat side by side. They looked up anxiously when Spike came out.

"She's sleeping finally." He informed them.

Lorne and Fred breathed a simultaneous sigh of relief. Spike collapsed into a chair next to Fred in exhaustion.

"Did she say anything?" Lorne asked.

"Said that Illyria showed her all the stuff she did. You know when she was a god, all of the evil things."

Fred let out a tiny shocked gasp. "Poor Lucy. Why would Illyria do that?"

Spike shrugged. "Lucy said Illyria is trying to force her out. That's all she said about it. Look I gotta go tell Wes and Angel bout this, see if they can figure anything out. You two mind stayin with her for a bit? I don't want her wakin up alone."

"Of course we can Spike. Don't worry about Lucy. We should change her name to Gloria Gaynor, that kid is such a survivor." Lorne comforted and clapped a green hand on Spike's back.

Spike hurried to Wesley's office and as usual found the former watcher hunched over a pile of old dusty books.

"Found anything?" He asked hopefully from the doorway.

Wesley let out a high pitched shriek and jumped nearly a foot off of his chair.

"Spike!" He squeaked. He cleared his throat and when he spoke again it was in a false low baritone. "I mean Spike what are you doing here?"

Spike smirked and walked all the way into the room. "Lucy's herself again. Thought I'd come tell you."

"Oh that's wonderful. Is she alright? Has she said anything?" Wesley asked.

Spike explained again the vague things Lucy had told him.

"Trying to force her out? Well I guess it makes sense Illyria wouldn't be one to sit back and allow someone else control over her. Having Lucy in control must be infuriating to Illyria. But I wonder how showing Lucy horrific visions would force her out?" Wesley pondered.

"Don't know. You have any luck finding out anything about the guy that hurt her?" Spike asked.

"Quite a lot actually. Nothing so far has made any connection with Illyria but I've complied an extensive background. If there is a connection between Illyria and Jason Richards I'll find out about it." Wesley assured him.

Spike nodded his thanks. "Do you mind tellin Angel about all of this? I should get back to Lucy, I want to be there when she wakes up."

Wesley nodded distractedly and vaguely waved as Spike hurried back towards the medical wing. He heard the screams long before he reached Lucy's room. Putting on a burst of speed he flew down the hallway at superhuman speed.

Slamming through the door of Lucy's room he found Fred and Lorne desperately trying to calm Lucy as she screamed and writhed in pain. She'd fallen off the bed and was cowering in a corner of the room, her long dancer's legs pulled up to her chest. Rhythmically she rocked back and forth and pounded her head into the wall behind her. It wasn't doing any damage to her head, the wall however was beginning to crack and crumble.

It went on like that for the next month. Lucy would have brief moments of freedom from Illyria's torments but soon enough she would be lost again in the terrifying memories of the demon god.

Three weeks and four days after it all began Spike forced himself out of bed. He was exhausted, sleeping only for an hour or so a day. He spent the rest of his time with Lucy. Angel had a special room built with padded walls and floor, the kind that you saw in an insane asylum. Spike hated seeing Lucy in a room like that, but she was sometimes violent during her attacks and in an empty padded room there wasn't much she could damage. Luckily she never seemed to use her powers while having her attacks, if she had Spike didn't think Wolfram and Hart would be standing any longer.

Wesley's newest theory was that Lucy had gained control of her body over Illyria because she'd wanted so much to save Spike from the sunlight. It had been Lucy's desire which had allowed her to leap forward and regain control of herself. He believed that for Illyria to take control once again Lucy must desire that as well. So Illyria was doing everything in her power to make sure Lucy wanted to give up that control. They just had to hope that Lucy was strong enough to keep fighting until they found a way to stop the ex demon god.

As he approached the door to her room he was relieved not to hear any screaming. He hoped that meant she was free of Illyria's visions for a little while. He found Lucy in her usual position, curled tightly into a ball in a corner of the room rocking back and forth. Her once vibrant hair hung in lank strings, hiding most of her beautiful face. Her already petite frame had grown emaciated since she rarely ate anymore. Wesley had deduced that because of her new powers she no longer needed food or sleep to survive physically. But without them her mental and emotional states had grown more and more detached and erratic.

"How are you today love?" He asked softly.

Lucy's head turned towards the sound of his voice in a sharp jerky movement. Absently she grabbed a handful of her own hair in her fist and pulled it. Spike knelt before her and detangled her fingers from her hair.

"Lucy? How are you love?" He asked again.

"Quiet today." She murmured.

Spike didn't press her to say anymore than that. She rarely said more than one or two words at a time anymore. God he missed her so much. He missed the bright witty sometimes smartass woman he'd fallen in love with. He wasn't sure who this broken shell was, but she certainly didn't seem to be his Lucy.

He sat down beside her and put his arm around her shoulders. He wasn't sure if it was a good idea or not, sometimes she liked affection and other times it seemed to make things worse. Today was a good day however and she leaned into his embrace.

"I think I'm lost." She whimpered and a small sob escaped her throat.

Spike's eyes filled with tears and he had to swallow past a lump in his throat that threatened to choke him.

"I know love. But I promise we're going find a way to fix this and then you'll get better and you won't be lost anymore." He assured her.

He enjoyed their few minutes of peace, but all too soon her beyond exhausted body tried to fall asleep and the visions returned to her with monstrous ferocity. He stayed with her as she screamed and rolled around in torment despite the fact that it nearly killed him to watch her suffering so.

Three hours later the visions ended and Lucy lay on the floor of her cell panting as she recovered from the invasion of her mind. She cried softly to herself as she lay on the padded floor. Spike brushed a hand through her hair and tried to help her relax.

"Just let me go Spike. Please?" She begged.

"I can't Lucy. You promised to keep fighting remember? I know this hard, but you have to keep fighting." He encouraged.

Lucy nodded and even tried to give Spike a smile. For the briefest of moments she was his Lucy again. When the visions began again minutes later he clung to that one precious moment with all of his soul.

"Spike." Wesley whispered and shook the vampire awake.

Spike had fallen asleep in Lucy's cell, leaned up against one of the walls while he held her head in his lap. He stared up with confusion and then focused on Wesley, who was standing over him grinning like a kid on Christmas.

"Spike I've figured it out. I believe I know how to get rid of Illyria and save Lucy." The ex-watcher said enthusiastically.


	29. Chapter 29

29

Spike paced anxiously in Angel's office while he waited for Angel to finish a meeting he was in the middle of. Wesley had hurried to his office to gather up the materials he'd found. Spike hated leaving Lucy even for small periods of time, but if Wesley had found the answer to getting rid of Illyria then their time apart was well worth it.

He was so wound up that when Angel walked in Spike actually jumped and let out a yelp.

"Spike." Angel said, sounding surprised.

"Wesley found something." Spike informed Angel.

Angel looked hopeful and gave Spike's arm a comforting squeeze as he passed him and then took a seat at his desk. Wesley arrived a few minutes later, his arms filled with loose papers and old books. Fred walked in behind him, her arms similarly filled.

"So you've found something to help Lucy?" Angel asked.

Wesley dropped his burdens on a table and gave Spike a smile. "Yes I believe I've found the answer. Not just to helping her, but why this has happened in the first place."

"Well hurry up and get on with it will you!" Spike snapped.

Wesley nodded and pulled out a bunch of papers.

"It started when I discovered that both Jason Richards and Knox are from the same town in upstate New York. Obviously I realized that that must have been the connection right away, but for the longest time I honestly couldn't find out what else they had in common other than their birth places.

The only other connection I could find between the two was that while each attended elementary school they had the same fourth grade teacher. A man named Randolph Simmons.

I used the truth serum on Knox again and he admitted to me that Randolph Simmons was an Illyria worshipper. He didn't just worship her, he was the man who helped put the final steps into her sarcophagus disappearing from the Deeper Well. He was Illyria's Qwa'ha Xahn before Knox.

Knox admitted to me that Randolph Simmons taught Knox everything he knows about Illyria. Simmons died last year, but by using our connections here I was able to get my hands onto his journals and research materials. His journals indicate that Jason Richards was his apprentice, ten years later Knox would become his next apprentice.

Randolph Simmons taught Jason Richards Illyria's entire history. It seems that Simmons was quite skilled in dark magic, but that he never taught his apprentices that side of things because he was paranoid that they would betray him using magic." Wesley chuckled as he said this.

"Why's that funny?" Spike asked.

"Because Jason Richards did betray Randolph Simmons. Richards graduated from high school and moved to New York City to attend college. While he was there he continued to study under Simmons, this time by means of the internet.

From what I've been able to piece together, once Jason Richards became infatuated with Lucy, he broke off contact with Simmons and quit his worship of Illyria. He really was totally obsessed with Lucy, in his last letter to Simmons he claimed that he worshiped Lucy more than he'd ever worshiped Illyria.

According to Simmons' journal two months before he attacked Lucy and her brother Richards broke into his ex-mentor's home. He stole a book on dark magic and a satchel. In his journal Simmons' says that the satchel contained the lost essence of Illyria."

"The lost essence of Illyria?" Fred asked.

"Simmons' described it as a bag of blue powder. The dust was a small part of Illyria's demon body, the only part of her that wasn't sealed into her sarcophagus. It was passed down for generations to each of Illyria's Qwa'ha Xahns."

"The blue powder that he put into Lucy's eyes." Spike guessed.

Wesley nodded. "Yes. Jason Richards intended to use the book and the powder to perform a powerful binding spell between him and Lucy. The book he stole was a copy of the Talmin Ka, a twelfth century spell book. It does contain one extremely powerful binding spell, which calls for demon essence to complete the bond. I believe that Richards wanted to use Illyria's essence because she was such a powerful demon, he probably assumed it would make the bond stronger."

"But he must have messed the spell up. If Lucy had been bonded that strongly to him, there's no way she would have been able to shove a knife in his gut." Spike pointed out.

"Actually I don't believe he did mess the spell up. It's a relatively simple spell. He just used the wrong ingredient. The spell calls for the demon essence to enter the subject's body through the eyes. The eyes have always been considered the windows to the soul and by putting the essence into the eyes it infects the soul of the subject. The spell also calls for a sacrifice from the victim of the spell, a profound loss that opens up the subject to the bonding. I believe that is why Lucy lost her eye sight. Her vision was the sacrifice that opened her soul for the bonding ritual to be completed."

"That still doesn't explain why Lucy wasn't bonded to Richards." Angel pointed out.

"She bonded to Illyria didn't she?" Spike asked.

Wesley nodded and gave Spike an impressed nod.

"I believe so yes. Illyria's essence is more powerful than anything the creator of the spell had imagined. That kind of power was not meant to be used. The spell was supposed to bond the victim to the person performing the spell, but I think that it directly bonded Lucy to Illyria. It explains everything that has happened. Lucy didn't die when Illyria infected her, because their souls are bound together. It also explains why Lorne read so much when he read Lucy. He wasn't reading Lucy's past, he was reading Illyria's." Wesley explained.

"So if Illyria and Lucy are bonded together, then how can we get rid of Illyria? Won't that hurt Lucy?" Fred asked.

Wesley nodded. "Yes, separating their souls would most likely destroy both of them. But if we can break the bonding spell first, then we should be able to take Lucy to the Deeper Well and draw Illyria's essence back into her sarcophagus."

"Can we break the bonding spell?" Spike asked hopefully.

Wesley nodded, but did it reluctantly. "I think so. If the spell had worked the way it was supposed to then it would have been easy to reverse. A witch or a shaman would be able to do it in just a few hours, but with Illyria's powers I'm really not sure. We're going to need someone with an enormous amount of power to do a counter spell."

Angel and Spike exchanged a glance then.

"You thinking what I'm thinking?" Spike asked.

Angel nodded.

"Willow." Both vampires said simultaneously.


	30. Chapter 30

30

"Willow!" Angel shouted happily and hurried over to hug the red headed witch as she walked through the doors of Wolfram and Hart.

"Angel!" She happily yelled in return and hurried over to the tall vampire.

Spike stayed back partially hidden behind a plant. Willow still wasn't aware that he was alive, they had figured it would be better to reveal something like that in person. Kennedy followed behind Willow, her face was plastered with an impressed smile as she took in the swanky offices. Spike listened impatiently as Willow introduced Kennedy to the group.

"So you need a witch huh?" Willow asked.

"I do. A powerful one, hope you're up to it." Angel replied.

Willow raised one eye brow and gave the vampire a pouty look. Angel laughed harder. "Ok I'm sorry of course you're up to it. I don't mean to offend, it's just that this girl, she just means a lot to us."

Spike slunk back further into the shadows as the group walked near him as they passed into Angel's office. Angel and Spike had decided that Angel would explain things while Spike listened at the door and would make his entrance when the time was right.

"I'm still not too clear on just what you need me to do. You said something about reversing a binding spell?" Willow asked.

Angel must have nodded because Willow continued. "Reversing a binding is fairly basic Angel, I really don't think you need me for it. I mean look at this place you've got to have some pretty serious magic folks yourself."

"I do, but not one of them is as good as you. Plus I want someone I trust and I trust you Willow." Angel answered.

"I wouldn't say I'm that good." Willow protested.

"Oh come on Will, we all know you're the bomb." Kennedy complimented her girlfriend.

Spike smiled when he heard Willow's heartbeat speed up at the compliment. Obviously the slayer and the witch were still going hot and heavy. Spike began to imagine what the two of them must do between sheets and then added Lucy to the fantasy as well.

He'd been so caught up in the fantasy that he'd missed Angel explaining about Lucy and Illyria. It was hearing his own name that brought him back to attention.

"Um Angel Spike's dead." Willow stated.

"Actually Willow he's not. Someone who used to work for Wolfram and Hart resurrected him. It's a long story." Angel revealed.

Spike decided it was as good a time as any to make his entrance. He stepped through the door and waited while Willow and Kennedy simultaneously drew in sharp breaths.

"Spike?" Willow asked in a shaky whisper.

"Hey Red. Kennedy." He said with a polite nod.

He wasn't sure how the two of them would react, but he was surprised when he suddenly found his arms full of redheaded witch.

"I can't believe you're alive! Buffy said you burned up and oh my gosh does Buffy know you're alive?" Willow asked.

Spike returned the hug. "Uh no she doesn't." He answered uncomfortably.

Willow returned to her seat and looked expectantly between the two vampires. "Are you ever planning on telling her? I mean she might want to know, seeing as how she cares about you."

Spike shifted uncomfortable from one foot to the other. Before meeting Lucy he'd imagined many different scenarios about telling Buffy he was alive. He'd fantasized about how happy she would be and how she would throw herself into his arms, crying and thanking god that he was back in her life. Since meeting Lucy though, well he wasn't sure if he wanted the Slayer to know he was still around. It seemed easier to just get on with his life and let Buffy get on with hers.

"Willow! It's so good to see ya again!" Fred blurted happily as she came through the door.

Spike let out a sigh of relief at the interruption and hoped that they could avoid the Buffy conversation all together.

Once the girls had finished their hug and the giggles that went with it, Willow turned back to Angel.

"So we should get down to business. You want to tell me who exactly I'm unbinding?" Willow asked.

Angel looked to Spike.

"You're helping the love of my life." Spike answered, with none of the embarrassment that would have come with that statement just a few months before.

Willow and Kennedy exchanged a glance and both looked as if they were waiting for the punch line of a joke. Spike sighed and looked at Angel.

"Angel can you explain things? I need to get back to her." Spike requested of his grandsire.

Angel nodded with understanding. "Of course. Tell Lucy we're figuring out a way to help her."

Spike nodded and gave the girls a wave before hurrying to Lucy's cell. Because of her blindness Spike didn't ever leave the lights on in Lucy's cell when he wasn't there. When he opened the door the light falling in from the hall was the only illumination in the dark cell. Back in the far corner he could just make out her small form huddled in a ball.

He flipped on the light and stepped into the room, closing the door behind him.

"Sorry I was gone so long love. But I've got good news, Willow is here. She's gonna do everything she can to help you get better." He whispered as he knelt down beside her.

Lucy didn't respond to his words or even look like she knew he was there. As still as she was Spike didn't figure that Illyria was currently tormenting her. It scared Spike how quiet and unresponsive she'd become during the times when she wasn't seeing the visions. Spike knew that her mind was shutting down as a way to protect itself, but he was terrified that she wouldn't be able to come back.

"Love?" He asked again. He reached up and tried to brush a hair out of Lucy's face.

Without warning Lucy screamed and lashed out at Spike. She only used one hand but the force of the blow was enough to throw Spike into the far wall and to break his arm with an audible snapping noise.

Spike stayed on the ground in a heap, trying to breathe through the pain in his arm. When he was able to sit up again he saw that Lucy had returned to her original position and looked like nothing had happened.

Clenching his jaw against the pain Spike grabbed hold of his wrist and yanked hard until he felt the bones pop and grind back into place. He stifled scream of agony as the fractured ends of the bones ground against each other. He knew he should probably go to the medical unit and have a doctor set the bones, but he wasn't willing to leave Lucy.

"Lucy it's me Spike." He said louder than he'd been speaking before.

He cautiously moved back to her side and sat down.

"Baby I know you're still in there and I know part of you knows it's me. You just have to be strong for a little bit longer alright? Just a little while and then Willow is going to make you all better." He encouraged, not even sure if Lucy was hearing him or not.

"Willow's a tree, can't see the stars. Maybe the wind will blow." Lucy suddenly muttered.

Spike really had no idea what she was talking about. He didn't try to decipher her ramblings, he'd spent enough time with Dru to know that it was usually impossible to figure out what someone was saying when they were crazy.

It struck Spike then that he hadn't ever really let himself think about the fact that Lucy was probably going crazy from the things Illyria showed her. He didn't want to admit it, but he knew that there was a big chance that Lucy wouldn't ever come back from what had been done to her, even if they were able to get Illyria out of her. Spike wasn't worried about his feelings for Lucy changing at all. After all he'd loved Dru and god knew she was a few fries short of a happy meal.

"I'm so sorry about all this love. If you hadn't met me, you wouldn't be in this mess." He apologized for what was probably the millionth time.

He flinched a little, but reached out once again and tried to touch her. Not wanting to push her too much, he simply put a hand on her arm and waited. Lucy stiffened up at first, but she didn't hit him so he figured that was a good sign. He began to move his hand up towards her face but she cried out and whimpered so he let her go and had to bite back his own cry.

Spike moved a few feet away from Lucy and leaned back against the wall. He missed her so much, but he couldn't even touch her without hurting her. He suddenly felt more exhausted than he could ever remember feeling before and decided to try and catch a little sleep while he sat with her.

A finger running across his lips woke him up sometime later. He opened his eyes and was surprised to find Lucy curled up next to him. He held still so he wouldn't scare her and waited while she brushed her fingers across his features. She hadn't done that in nearly two weeks and it gave Spike hope that maybe his Lucy was still in there somewhere.

"Lancelot." She whispered.

"What's that love?" He asked.

"My knight in shining armor. My Lancelot." She explained.

"Lucy?" He asked, his hopes rising.

"Hey." She replied and gave him a smile.

Spike forgot his decision not to scare her and leapt forward, pulling Lucy into an embrace that would have crushed a normal human. To his delight Lucy returned the embrace, hard enough to hurt a little, but he wouldn't have traded the hug for anything.

"I can't believe you're actually here with me." Spike whispered into her hair.

"Don't know how long I can stay. Illyria is quiet right now, but she'll do it again." Lucy replied, her fear palpable in the small room.

"Willow is here now. She's gonna do the unbinding spell and once that's done we'll get Illyria out of you I promise." Spike assured her.

Lucy nodded against his shoulder and breathed in his familiar scent. "I miss you."

"Miss you too love, so much it hurts." He managed to say without his voice cracking.

Lucy pressed her lips to his and kissed him deeply. He returned the kiss and was amazed again at just how deeply he loved her. Seconds passed as they devoured each other with kisses, but soon they were interrupted when Lucy cried out in terror and pushed away from Spike. Just like that she was lost to him again and the visions had carried her to a place that Spike knew was worse than any hell he could imagine.

He stayed with her throughout the night and long into the next day. At some point Fred brought him a mug of animal blood and a few hours later he was again interrupted by another knock on the door. He looked up to see Willow's head peeking into the small cell.

"Can I come in?" She whispered.

Spike nodded and scooted closer to Lucy. Willow entered quietly and closed the door behind her.

"Angel fill you in on everything?" He asked.

Willow nodded as she studied Lucy. "Yeah I think I got it all. So this is Lucy?"

Spike nodded and smiled down at Lucy who was oblivious to both of them as she cried and thrashed on the floor. He ran a hand through her hair and hoped it brought her even a tiny bit of comfort.

"So you really love her huh?" Willow asked skeptically.

"That so hard to believe?" He asked.

Willow sat down next to Spike and watched Lucy. "Well as hung up as you were on Buffy for so long, it just seems hard to believe you'd let her go and find someone else so fast."

Spike felt a small flare of anger at Willow, but realized that she had good reason to doubt him. She was best friends with the Slayer after all, she'd been there for all of the shitty things he done to Buffy in the name of love.

"I didn't plan it or anything. The night I met Lucy I was planning on leaving LA and finding Buffy, letting her know I was alive. But then I met her and everything changed, I changed. I don't really know how to explain it… Lucy makes me feel like I'm finally using my soul. Like I got it back, but I wasn't even using it until she turned it on or something." Spike explained with difficulty.

"God listen to me. I sound like a bloody fucking poof. Don't tell Angel what I said." He warned with a laugh.

He was surprised to see Willow wiping a tear away from her cheek. "It was beautiful Spike, I'm happy for you. It's good that you found someone. I'm sorry all of this has happened to her, but I promise I'm going to do everything I can to help her, to help you both."

"Guess you must be pretty happy I'm not chasing after your best friend anymore." Spike added as Willow stood up to leave.

Willow shrugged. "Well I don't think you would have much of a chance with her anymore anyway, now that she's dating The Immortal."

With that last quip Willow gave Spike a teasing grin and slipped out of the room.

Spike grimaced and shook his head. He might not want the Slayer for himself anymore, but The Immortal? God he hated that man!

**A/N- Sorry it's been so long since I've updated. Had a major case of writer's block getting through this chapter. Hopefully the next one will go much smoother. Hope you liked this one, I know it was mostly filler. I promise more action will be coming up soon. And as many times as you've read it before just remember... Reviews make writers write faster! Its scientifically proven. Well maybe not, but reviews do encourage me to write quicker so come on hit the button. It's right down there with green writing on it. Thanks!!!!!!**


	31. Chapter 31

31

"So what's the plan?" Spike asked as he took a seat at the conference table with the others.

Willow glanced up for a second before returning to the thick book of magic she was studying. Spike waited impatiently as she read, his leg bouncing up and down in an anxious rhythm while he waited. After what seemed like an eternity but in reality was closer to five minutes Willow finally closed the book.

"Ok I think I can make an unbinding work, but it's not going to be easy. From what I've read on Illyria, she's extremely powerful. Getting their souls disconnected from each other is going to take a lot of magic and even then it won't be easy on Lucy. She's going to have to fight hard to hang on and not let Illyria's soul destroy hers." Willow warned.

"Lucy's tougher than you can imagine, she can do it." Spike assured the witch.

Willow nodded and gave Spike a reassuring smile. "I'm sure she is. Once I work the unbinding what are you going to do then? Do you have a plan for getting Illyria out of Lucy?"

Angel nodded. "We'll take Lucy to the Deeper Well. Since she's already manifested inside of Lucy there isn't a risk of Illyria infecting other people. We get them to the Deeper Well and Drogyn can work the spell to pull Illyria's essence back into her sarcophagus."

"You guys should know that this is probably going to be dangerous. If Lucy doesn't fight to stay in control unbinding them could give Illyria the freedom she needs to take over Lucy's body again. If she's really as powerful as you guys have said then I don't know how we'll control her if that happens. It's going to be up to Lucy to keep Illyria restrained." Willow warned.

"Lucy can do it. She wouldn't let Illyria out to hurt any of us, she'll keep her under control." Spike replied with absolute assurance.

"Alright we should do this then." Willow replied determinedly. "Wesley I'll want you there. You've got more experience with magic than anyone else, I'm going to need you to help with the chanting. Spike you'll need to stay right by Lucy, talk to her while we work the spell, keep her grounded so we don't lose her."

"Fred, Lorne, Gunn, I don't want you guys there. If Illyria does regain control there won't be anything we can do to stop her. You guys will have to be my back up team and figure out a plan B if things do go bad." Angel instructed.

The visions seemed to have ended when Spike led the group into Lucy's small cell. She was lying on her side with her knees pulled up to her chest, but thankfully she was quiet. Spike knelt down and ran a hand across Lucy's forehead, trying to determine what sort of mental state she was in at the moment.

"Spike?" She asked, her blind eyes wandering up in his general direction.

"Right here love." He assured her. He sat down and pulled Lucy into his lap so that he could whisper into her ear. "Willow's here to do the spell now. She says it's gonna be rough love. You're gonna have to be strong for me alright. Illyria will try to take over again and you're gonna have to keep her back. It's won't be easy love, it's gonna hurt, but we don't have any other choice." He warned her honestly.

Lucy sucked in a breath, her fear evident in the shaky way she breathed, but she nodded determinedly and tightened her grip on Spike's arm.

"It's okay if it hurts. Just do it." She mumbled through gritted teeth.

Spike nodded up to Willow, who returned the head nod and opened the thick book. Wesley leaned over so that he could read as well. Behind them Angel and Kennedy stood warily, both of them ready to fight Illyria if the need arose.

The chanting was in a demon language which Spike didn't recognize. Willow's small girly voice filled the room, her powers evident as the air practically crackled with magic. For the longest time nothing happened, Willow chanted and after a moment Wesley joined in.

Spike could feel Lucy trembling in his arms, he wasn't sure whether or not the spell was making her shake or if it was fear. Ten minutes passed, then twenty, and still nothing happened. Spike had begun to convince himself that it wasn't going to work, when suddenly Lucy stiffened in his arms and screamed.

She jolted and flew out of Spike's arms, in a way that was eerily similar to what had happened on the day when Illyria had first taken her over. Angel and Kennedy stepped in front of Willow and Wesley, pressing the two of them and the book back into one of the walls. Spike moved to Lucy's side and leaned down so that he could whisper into her ear.

"Lucy? Talk to me love, tell me what's happening." He insisted.

Lucy blindly reached for Spike's hand, he quickly grabbed her hand and then stifled a groan when she squeezed hard enough to snap the bones in his fingers.

"It hurts Spike. God it hurts so much. She wants out so bad. I don't know if I can keep her inside. Please make her stop, please." She begged.

Spike wasn't sure if Lucy was referring to Willow or Illyria, but either way he felt helpless knowing he couldn't do anything to stop her pain.

"Just be strong a little while longer love. Remember your promise, just keeping fighting." He encouraged.

Lucy bit her lip and nodded, determined to be strong for Spike no matter what the cost. As Willow increased the speed of the chanting Lucy's body began to jolt, the same way Illyria's had the day that she'd snapped Lucy's neck in the dance studio. Her body jerked and writhed as if electric current was passing through it. She didn't cry out again, although Spike could tell from the expression on her face that she was in pain.

As the tempo and volume of the chanting reached an uncomfortable level, Lucy's body began to shake so hard that it was actually vibrating the floor and walls. She began to glow a bright blue, making it look like her body was filled with blue neon. The glow got so bright that Spike was forced to close his eyes against the light. He kept hold of Lucy's hand despite the pain that radiated up his arm from his broken fingers.

The room became a cacophony of noise as Willow and Wesley's chanting increased even further and Lucy began to scream as the pain finally became too much for her.

"Stop! Please make it stop! Spike help me!" Lucy screamed over and over.

Part of Spike wanted nothing more than to stop Willow and Wesley's chanting, to stop the pain that the spell was causing her. He forced himself to picture the way Lucy looked when Illyria was showing her the visions. It was the only thing that gave him the strength to hold still and allow them to carry on.

Even with his eyes closed Spike could still see the brilliant flash of light that exploded out of Lucy as the spell reached its' conclusion. He could feel a surge of power run from Lucy's hand up his arm and into his chest. It wasn't painful, but the amount of magic running through both of them at that moment was shocking.

It was strangely quiet in the room after the flash. The only noises were the breathing and heartbeats of the non vampires in the room. Cautiously Spike cracked open one eye, relieved to find that the blinding light was gone.

Willow and Wesley had both fallen to the floor, obviously exhausted from the force of the spell. Both of them breathed harshly as they struggled to recover from the effort.

Lucy was so still it frightened Spike. If he hadn't been able to hear her heartbeat and breathing he would have believed she was dead.

"Lucy? Did it work? Lucy can you hear me?" Spike asked as he leaned over his love.

Spike could see Lucy's eyes moving under her closed lids, almost like she was dreaming. Spike grabbed her shoulder and shook her gently.

"Talk to me love, please." He begged.

Lucy could hear Spike talking to her, she knew she needed to respond, but she was so tired. Her brain was so exhausted that it took her almost a full minute to realize that for the first time in over a month she couldn't hear Illyria in her mind. Except for her own thoughts her mind was blissfully silent and the quiet made Lucy want to do nothing but sleep.

"Please Lucy, if you can hear me say something." Spike pleaded.

"Something." Lucy finally managed to force out.

"What?" He asked.

"You said to say something." She joked, her voice barely audible it was so soft.

Spike let out an involuntary sob of relief and he lifted Lucy to his chest and hugged her tightly.

"I can't breathe Spike." She giggled a second later.

Reluctantly Spike loosened his grip and pulled away enough so that he could look down into Lucy's face.

"Did it work love?" He asked anxiously.

"I think so, I can't hear her. It doesn't feel like she's in my head anymore." Lucy answered.

Lucy finally managed to force her eyes open, although she couldn't believe the amount of effort it took just to do such a simple action. She let out a disappointed sigh when she saw nothing but blackness. Part of her had been hoping that the unbinding would bring back her vision, but she was still just as blind as she'd been for the past six years.

"What's wrong?" Spike asked when he heard her sigh.

"I kind of thought maybe I'd be able to see again after." She explained. "It was silly I guess." She added with a shrug, trying hard not to let on just how disappointed she was.

"Can we get out of here? I'm so tired of this room." She asked.

Angel moved closer and knelt down so that he was on Lucy's level. "Are you sure Illyria is under control? I just don't want you leaving if there's a chance she could take control." He explained.

"I don't know Angel. All I know is that I can't hear her anymore and the visions are gone." Lucy replied.

"Plus if Illyria took control, this room wouldn't be able to hold her anyway." She pointed out.

"Good point." Angel acknowledged.

Spike pulled Lucy to her feet, but had to pick her up and carry her when her legs buckled from exhaustion. Holding her tightly Spike pressed a kiss to her lips.

"Love you." She murmured, nearly asleep already.

"Love you too Lucy. More than anything." He answered and carried her from the room.

He stopped once and turned to face Willow and Wesley, who had both pulled themselves up from the floor by that point.

"I can't thank you enough for what you did. I won't ever forget it." He said sincerely.

Willow hadn't ever heard Spike sound so sincere and humble before and it struck her then just how much Spike had changed. Even though she still hadn't officially met Lucy, Willow knew she must be an amazing person to have changed Spike so dramatically for the better.

Spike carried Lucy all the way up to their apartment and laid her gently in their bed. She barely flinched as he undressed her and slid her naked body under the covers. He undressed then and climbed into bed beside Lucy. He pulled her close, feeling like he had to be touching her at all times to assure himself that this was really happening. Part of him couldn't believe that the spell had worked and that he and Lucy were back in their home together.

Lucy turned towards Spike and nuzzled her face against his neck. "Love you Spike." She mumbled in her sleep.

"Love you too Lucy." He returned before dropping into a deep sleep, the first deep sleep either of them had experienced in over four weeks.


	32. Chapter 32

32

Willow was in Heaven. The research department of Wolfram and Hart was definitely her idea of paradise. So far Wesley's enchanted books had been able to find every book she'd requested, even the obscurest of titles. She could have spent years happily reading the books in that room.

Kennedy had left more than four hours ago, she'd stuck around for a few hours before the boredom had become too much for her. Once Angel had come in and mentioned the gym and weapons training room Kennedy had practically run from the research office.

Willow was interrupted from her reading by a soft knock on the door. She glanced up to find Spike standing in the doorway.

"Hey." She said brightly, surprising herself and Spike with the friendly tone in her voice.

Willow wanted to not like Spike because of the things he'd done to Buffy and the amount of times he'd tried to kill her personally, but this new Spike wasn't too bad.

"Can we come in?" Spike asked politely.

Willow nodded, although she was confused as to whom the 'we' was. Spike entered and Willow's question was answered when she noticed Lucy following behind Spike, her hand resting on the vampire's shoulder so that he could lead her. Willow hadn't really thought about the fact that Lucy was blind before then. Spike and Angel had both told her about Lucy's condition, but it seemed much sadder actually seeing her dealing with it.

As the pair stood there, Willow took a moment to study Lucy. Her appearance was fairly startling at first. She was a bright blue color over most of her skin and her hair was a dark bluish purple color that would have been more at home on a rock star, but strangely Lucy managed to pull it off and make it look beautiful. Willow could tell that Lucy was extremely pretty, although it was hard to see a lot of her face because of the dark glasses that Lucy wore to cover her eyes. She also had a killer body, long slender legs, full lush breasts which pushed tightly against the white t-shirt she wore. Willow swallowed convulsively and felt a little embarrassed at the rush of lust that coursed through her veins as she studied Spike's girlfriend.

Willow forced herself to blink and stop thinking about how pretty Lucy was.

"Lucy how are you feeling?" She asked cheerfully, but to her own ears it sounded a little too enthusiastic and she hoped that Spike and Lucy wouldn't notice her discomfort.

"I'm feeling better. I asked Spike to bring me down here so I could thank you in person. I mean I really can't thank you enough for what you did for me." Lucy gushed, sounding shy.

Willow waved her hand in a way to show that it wasn't a big deal, then she realized that Lucy wouldn't be able to see that gesture. "It was no problem Lucy. I'm really glad I could help you."

"Love, I need to go talk to Angel about our trip to England, will you be alright if I leave?" Spike asked Lucy, leaning over to pull her close as he talked.

Lucy laughed and pushed on Spike's chest. "Spike I'm fine. I don't need you to babysit me. Go do what you need to do. I'll meet you at home."

"I know you don't need a babysitter love. But you've been through so much. I just want to take care of you." Spike insisted.

Lucy groaned in frustration. "Spike go. I'm fine, you know how I feel about you treating me like I'm helpless."

Willow was amazed to hear Lucy order Spike around in such a fashion and even more amazed when Spike ducked his head and acquiesced to her instructions without argument. He definitely wasn't the same vampire she'd known in Sunnydale.

After Spike left Lucy walked confidently to a chair and sat down. "It's nice to finally meet you by the way. I don't really remember much of yesterday. But Angel and Spike both have so many good things to say about you."

Willow's eyes widened, "Spike has nice things to say about me?"

Lucy chuckled. "Yes, he told me you're a very powerful witch and he told me what a great friend you are to Buffy. Is it that hard to believe that he would say nice things about you?"

"Well most of the time I knew Spike he was either trying to kill me or else he was lusting after my best friend." Willow muttered, sounding bitter.

Lucy's head dropped and Willow felt like a major idiot. Of course Lucy wouldn't know about any of that, Spike wasn't going to let his new girl friend in on his past dirty laundry.

"I'm sorry about everything Spike did to hurt you in the past and Buffy too. He told me all about how horrible he was to Buffy and to all of her friends. I just want you to know that he isn't the same man anymore. He really has changed, I know you probably can't believe that but I just wanted you to know." Lucy replied sincerely.

Willow's mouth dropped open in shock. "He told you about all of the stuff that he did in Sunnydale?"

Lucy nodded. "He told me everything. He told me how Drusilla changed him and the things they did with Angelus and Darla. He told me about the time that he kidnapped you and Xander. He even told me about when he tried to rape Buffy."

"Wow I can't believe he told you all of it. He really has changed." Willow admitted.

The two women sat in silence while Willow continued to read through the book she was currently looking at.

"So do you like my office?" Lucy asked.

Willow looked around at the spacious office. "This is your office? It's amazing, I love these books. I'm thinking about stealing one."

Lucy laughed. "I'm sure Wesley would give you one if you ask."

"So if you don't mind me asking how exactly can you work in the research department if you can't see?" Willow asked.

Lucy leaned forward and pulled the book out of Willow's hands. "What are you reading right now?" She asked.

"The Philosophy of Time Travel by Roberta Sparrow." Willow answered, sounding confused.

Lucy repeated the title of the book and included the word 'Braille' to the end. She opened the book and passed her fingers over the raised dots that spelled out the title. She then handed the book to Willow who passed her fingers over the Braille as well.

"Oh, that's really cool." Willow exclaimed.

"Yeah it's great being able to read whatever I want now. It's hard to find a lot of titles in Braille usually." Lucy replied.

Willow again felt a wave of pity wash over her for the blind girl. She realized that Lucy probably wouldn't appreciate the pity, since she certainly didn't seem at all helpless.

"So I was wondering if maybe I could ask you a few questions. About the spell you did and the spell that's going to happen in England." Lucy asked, abruptly changing the subject.

"Oh sure, go ahead. I just hope I can answer them." She replied modestly.

"Well I was just wondering, um, Wesley said that the binding spell was what made me blind. Something about a sacrifice from the victim. I was just wondering why didn't I get my sight back when you undid the spell?" Lucy asked, sounding uncomfortable.

Willow realized how upsetting it must have been for Lucy if she'd believed she would be able to see again, only to have those hopes dashed. She wished she had better news for Lucy, but decided that after everything that she'd been through Lucy could handle a bit of honesty.

"Wesley was right, binding spells require something personal to be taken from the intended target of the spell. Sometimes it's physical, like your eyesight. Sometimes it's emotional. I read about an incident once where a man had all of his emotions taken away from him, it sounded horrible." Willow explained.

Lucy grimaced at the thought of not being able to feel anything. Being blind was definitely better than that.

"The reason you didn't get your sight back is because it's gone. Imagine if it was a person who was sacrificed for the spell. Even if the spell was reversed, they wouldn't come back to life. The energy of the sacrifice is what is used to work the spell. I'm really sorry that you thought reversing it would make you see again." Willow finished.

"So there isn't any way for me to see again?" Lucy asked.

"Not that I know of. I'm so sorry to be the one to tell you that. I wish there was something I could do." Willow replied, sounding genuinely sorry even though she barely knew Lucy.

Lucy shrugged. "Don't worry about it. Before I found out about all this magic stuff, I just figured I'd always be blind and I had accepted it. I guess I'll just have to accept it again. Besides now that I have these demon senses it's not that bad. My other senses are so good now that it really makes up for not being able to see."

"Yeah, Angel said you had a lot of power. He said that you could take out him, Spike, and Buffy put together if you wanted to." Willow said, sounding impressed.

"Maybe. I don't seem to have much control over any of the powers. I think Illyria has control of them and not me." Lucy mused. "That actually brings up my other question. After they do the spell to put Illyria back into her sarcophagus, what will happen to me?"

Willow considered this for a minute before answering. "I'm not really sure Lucy. It might turn you back into a human being, or it might just take Illyria's soul out of your mind and leave you a demon. I guess it just depends on if you've physically been changed into a demon or if the changes are all magical due to Illyria's soul inhabiting your body."

"So it could go either way then?" Lucy replied.

"Yes, I wish I could tell you more, but I just don't know." Willow admitted, she hated not knowing things.

"Well thanks for being honest with me, I appreciate it. So have you looked around Wolfram and Hart at all? It's pretty amazing. Fred's lab is especially interesting." Lucy asked.

"Fred has a lab? Like a science lab? Oh it must be so well stocked." Willow gushed, sounding envious.

"You want a tour? I could show you around." Lucy offered.

"Sure that would be great, my head is starting to pound from all this reading anyway." Willow answered.

Lucy grinned and stood up, waiting at the door for Willow to follow her. Willow wasn't exactly sure what to do. Spike had been leading Lucy, maybe she was supposed to grab Lucy's arm and help her around? Before she could do anything, however, Lucy turned and headed out of the office without any hesitation.

"Don't you need a cane or something?" Willow asked as she watched Lucy walk confidently down a hall crowded with Wolfram and Hart employees.

"Not anymore. I can hear everyone so well, I know right where other people are and I can hear my footsteps echo when I get too close to something so I don't bump into things much anymore." Lucy explained as she gracefully stepped around two lawyers who were having an argument in the middle of the hallway.

"But before when you came into the room, you were holding onto Spike's shoulder, like he was guiding you." Willow pointed out.

"I know. I didn't need help, but he's just being so overprotective since this whole Illyria thing. I didn't have the heart to not let him help me." Lucy admitted with a soft laugh, filled with love.

"Spike loves you a lot, I can tell." Willow confided as they walked. "He even loves you more than he loved Buffy and I didn't think that would ever be possible."

Lucy's face broke into a broad smile, which lit up her face. "How can you tell?"

"Just by the way he looks at you all of the time. The expression on his face is filled with love. I think I saw him look at Buffy like that maybe once or twice, but with you it's there constantly." Willow explained.

"Thank you for telling me. I have to admit it's a little intimidating knowing that the last person he loved was like a superhero and I'm just some blind girl." Lucy revealed.

"Well now you can be a superhero too." Willow pointed out.

Lucy nodded. "True, if I don't lose all these powers after the spell and if I can ever learn how to access them."

Willow wasn't sure what to say to that. She couldn't imagine wanting to stay a demon. But then again, she also couldn't imagine being blind and needing help with simple everyday things. Lucy must cherish the demon powers that gave her so much more personal freedom.

Lucy finished her tour with the science lab, knowing that Willow would probably like to stay for awhile.

"Lucy! Oh it's so good to see ya. I've missed ya so much." Fred giggled happily as she ran over and pulled Lucy into a tight hug.

Lucy laughed and returned the hug, realizing then just how much she had missed her friend as well. Fred ended the hug but trailed her hand down Lucy's arm so that she could give Lucy's hand a friendly squeeze. As she did it Lucy felt the cool smooth metal of a ring around Fred's finger.

"Oh my gosh, Fred is this an engagement ring?" Lucy asked, practically squealing.

Another laugh burst out of Fred and she pulled Lucy in for another tight hug. "I can't believe someone finally noticed! I've been walkin around here for a month flashin my finger at the boys and not one of em figured it out!"

Willow and Lucy both joined in on Fred's laughter as they all commented on how unobservant men were.

After much giggling and wedding talk, Lucy left Willow with Fred. The two of them had begun to discuss particle accelerators and Lucy grew bored with that quickly.

She was half way to her apartment when Spike suddenly ran up from behind her and pulled her into his arms. He held her so tightly that Lucy knew if she were still human she'd have been crushed.

"Spike what's wrong?" She asked, sounding worried and afraid.

"I've been looking for you for almost an hour, where the hell have you been?" He shouted.

Lucy pulled away from Spike and smacked into a wall, because she wasn't paying attention to her surroundings. She winced when she heard the plaster crack as she hit it and made a mental note to apologize to Angel.

"I was showing Willow around the offices and then we were hanging out in Fred's lab for awhile." She yelled back.

Spike's anger seemed to leak out of him when Lucy yelled and he slumped against the wall behind him. He ran a hand over his face and rubbed his eyes tiredly.

"I'm sorry love, I didn't mean to yell. I was just so scared when I couldn't find you. I'm not used to worrying about someone other than myself, guess it'll take awhile before I get the hang of it." He apologized.

Lucy felt her anger leave her as well and she quickly moved to pull Spike into an embrace.

"I'm sorry too. I know how hard these last few months have been on you, I shouldn't get angry just because you care enough to worry about me." She replied.

Spike grasped both of her hands in his and kissed the backs of them. Lucy sighed with pleasure and pulled Spike forward so that she could kiss him. Soon they became lost in the sensations of each other's lips and forgot that they were standing in the middle of a hallway. It wasn't until they heard a snickering that they pulled apart.

"Jeez you two, get a room much?" Harmony laughed.

The couple pulled away quickly and laughed nervously.

"Guess we forgot where we were at. Sorry Harmony." Lucy said. She still felt uncomfortable around Harmony, after all she was the last person to sleep with Spike before her. Luckily Harmony didn't seem to have any sort of bad feelings about losing Spike. Probably because she didn't have a soul to care about Spike with.

"See ya Harm." Spike replied quickly and pulled Lucy to the elevator.

Once they were in their apartment, they practically attacked each other. Spike ripped Lucy's t-shirt down the middle and flung the tattered fabric to the floor, her bra quickly followed in the same ruined fashion.

As soon as she was naked from the waist up Spike picked Lucy up and set her on the kitchen counter, kissing her the entire time. He moved his mouth down the length of her neck, kissing and sucking on her pulse point, making Lucy whimper with pleasure. When he reached her breasts he sucked her left nipple into his mouth and bit it gently before swirling his tongue around it. Lucy cried out and began to shake from the ecstasy of his touch, it had been so long since they'd been able to be together.

Lucy let out a frustrated growl when Spike pulled away from her nipple. He quickly unbuttoned her jeans and pulled them off of her in one smooth motion. Once she was naked Spike placed a hand on each of her knees and gently pushed her legs apart. Grinning wickedly Spike knelt down on the tile floor and began to pleasure Lucy with his tongue.

She jumped and let out a scream when his tongue touched her clit and swirled around it expertly. She began to cum almost instantly and before her orgasm finished Spike stood up and thrust into her. Their lovemaking was fast and hard, so hard in fact that it broke most of the glasses in the cupboard behind Lucy's head. Lucy raked her nails down Spike's back as he pounded into her over and over again.

Spike used all of his strength to make love to her, enjoying the feeling of being able to do it without fear of hurting her. Lucy held on tight to the counter as she came again, oblivious to the fact that the granite counter top was crumbling from her grip.

Spike's orgasm was one of the most intense he'd ever had in his life and when it was over he had to fall to the floor as his legs turned to rubber. Panting heavily Spike lay sprawled on the cool tile. Lucy hopped down from her perch and laid down beside him resting her head on his chest.

"That was amazing!" She panted.

"You got that right love. Don't know if we should ever go this long without sex again, we might kill each other the next time, or at least destroy the building." He joked looking up at the damaged counter and cupboard that had taken the brunt of their wild lovemaking.

They lay on the kitchen floor for a long time, neither of them bothered by the hard tile under them. When it began to grow dark outside Spike finally pulled himself up and then helped Lucy to her feet. Leaving the mess to be cleaned up another time, Spike pulled Lucy towards the bathroom and turned on the shower.

As soon as they were under the hot spray of water their mouths met again. Before long Spike's erection was aching painfully for Lucy's body.

As he entered her again Spike's last coherent thought was to wonder what kind of damage they were going to do to the bathroom.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**A/N- Sorry these last few chapters have been taking so long for me to post. There's so much I want to get in, it's been hard deciding what to write and when to write it. Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. Can anyone guess where the book that Willow was reading came from? You get a virtual cookie if you figure it out:) Thanks again for reading!!!!**


	33. Chapter 33

33

Spike woke up from a dead sleep and then chuckled a little to himself when he thought about the term 'dead sleep'. He glanced groggily around the dark bedroom and wondered what it was that had interrupted his sleep. A moan from Lucy then answered the question.

He snapped on the lamp beside his bed and turned to look at his lover. Lucy was lying on her side, curled into a tight little ball. Her long purple hair fell across her face so that he couldn't make out any of her features. She was trembling all over as she let out another moan and began to talk in her sleep.

"No, don't hurt them. They're just children, leave them alone." Lucy muttered, her words slurred with sleep.

"Love wake up. Lucy it's just a dream." Spike shook her gently and whispered into her ear, not wanting to jolt her awake and scare her further.

He brushed the hair out of her face and saw that although her eyes were tightly closed tears were leaking out and running down her cheeks. He shook her shoulder once more and watched as her eyes slowly opened.

Her blank blue eyes moved uselessly around the room as she tried to distinguish reality from the memories Illyria had forced into her mind. Blindly she reached out a trembling hand and searched until her fingers connected with Spike's chest. She ran her hand up to his face and traced the contours of his mouth.

"Was I dreaming?" She asked innocently.

"Yeah, sounded like a bad one." He commiserated.

Lucy nodded and wiped the tears off of her cheeks. "I just wish I could forget all of the stuff that she showed me. It was so horrible, so many living creatures that she wiped out just for fun. She destroyed entire planes of existence just because she was bored, millions of lives ended in agony for her amusement."

It had been three days since the spell had freed Lucy from Illyria's torments and so far this was the most she'd spoken about the things she'd seen. Spike prayed that removing Illyria's soul from Lucy's body would help bring her a measure of peace, but he knew that nothing could ever make up for the horrors she'd endured.

"What time is it?" She asked sleepily and rubbed her eyes as she yawned.

"Early, bout five a.m. You should try and get some more sleep before we have to get on the plane." Spike instructed.

Lucy let out a pained sigh and flopped over onto her back. "God I hate flying." She whined.

Spike laughed. "Didn't you use to fly all over the world when you were a dancer?"

"Yes, but that doesn't mean I had to like it. I hate flying, always have, always will." She stated stubbornly.

Spike ran a hand through her hair and kissed her forehead. "Just hang onto me and you'll be fine. Plus you know if the plane crashes you won't get hurt right?" He pointed out.

"Well that's a good point. I'm still not happy about flying though." She grumbled.

Spike laughed and pulled the blankets over them both. He was relieved when he heard Lucy's breathing even out a few minutes later as she fell asleep again. He watched her sleep and thought about how much he loved her. He really didn't think that there was anyone who could be more perfect than his beautiful Lucy.

Four hours later Spike was beginning to rethink his early morning thoughts about the perfection of Lucy. They'd been on the plane for two hours and he was seriously considering tying her up and gagging her until they landed in England.

She'd done nothing but whine about flying since they'd gotten onboard. He felt bad that she was scared of flying, but it was beginning to wear on his nerves. He just didn't get why she was so scared, not only was she pretty much indestructible but she couldn't even look out the freaking windows to see the ground.

Lucy was huddled in one of the large leather seats of the private jet, passing her hand over a Braille book, although Spike doubted she was actually reading anything. He put a hand on her shoulder to check on her and she jumped nearly a foot out of her chair.

"What?" She snapped angrily.

"Just thought I'd see how you were doing. Oh and also, remind me to never fly with you again." Spike replied.

Lucy gave Spike an annoyed expression. "Alex used to say that all the time too." She joked. "I'm sorry I'm being such a pain." She apologized.

"That's alr- Ahh!" Spike was interrupted when the jet hit a small air pocket and dropped slightly. Lucy let out a screech and grabbed Spike's hand, nearly crushing it in her super powered grip.

"Oh I'm so sorry Spike. I didn't mean to." Lucy cried anxiously.

"That's alright love, no worries." Spike assured her through gritted teeth.

Angel watched, with an amused smirk, as Spike dealt with Lucy. He felt a little bad for the blond vampire, but not badly enough to not be amused by the situation. Finally when he saw Lucy just about squeeze Spike's hand off during a bump of turbulence; Angel took pity on the younger vampire.

He removed his seat belt and moved to the mini bar at the rear of the plane. He fixed Lucy a stiff drink of Jack Daniels with just a splash of Coke.

"Here Lucy, try drinking this. It might help calm your nerves." Angel suggested and pressed the glass into Lucy's hand.

Lucy sniffed the drink suspiciously and wrinkled her nose at the smell. "Whiskey? I'm not sure about this, I'm not much of a drinker, all I've ever had is beer before and some champagne once."

Angel laughed and gave Lucy's back a friendly pat. "Well now you're dating an Englishman and your friends with an Irishman. Trust me, we know our whiskey and I'm telling you this will help. That is if you can even feel the effects of the alcohol, I'm not sure it'll have any effect on you."

Lucy shrugged and gave the drink a small sip, coughed, and nearly spit the liquor out. "Ew, that's gross!" She complained and held the glass out away from her.

"Hey now it might not taste the best but it gets the job done." Angel pointed out.

"I think I'm going to throw up." She complained.

Angel and Spike both laughed. "You can handle being turned into a millennia's old demon god, without complaining but can't down one glass of whiskey?" Angel teased. Spike laughed harder at Angel's comment.

Lucy squared her jaw when she heard the two vampires laughing at her. No way was she going to let them think she was just some prissy girl who couldn't drink a damn drink. She already looked enough like a wuss about the whole flying thing. Sucking in a deep gulp of air, Lucy held her breath and downed the entire drink without stopping. The alcohol burned as it coated her throat and settled in her stomach with a warm feeling that wasn't entirely unpleasant.

"Can I have another one?" She asked and held the empty glass out in Angel's direction.

Spike and Angel exchanged and impressed look.

"Love you sure you want another one? We were just kidding, don't think you need to prove anything." Spike assured her gently.

Lucy shrugged off the hand he had put around her shoulders. "I'm not trying to prove anything. That wasn't so bad and I do feel a little calmer. So can I please have another one?"

"Make that three!" Kennedy piped up from her seat across from Lucy. Willow smacked Kennedy's arm.

"Kennedy, whiskey? I don't think that's a good idea." Willow protested.

"Oh come on Willow, live a little, it'll be fun. Hey we should all play a drinking game!" The slayer suggested.

Two hours and about sixty mini-bottles of liquor later, the jet had become loud and rowdy.

"Shhpike I thought you shaid vampires couldn' get drunk off theesh little bottles?" Angle slurred and then promptly fell out of his chair.

"Well how's I shupposed to know that we had about a million of em on board? Thatsh a lotta liquor mate." Spike replied.

Lucy, Willow, and Kennedy suddenly burst into loud laughter from the back of the plane where they had moved. The two vampires exchanged glances and then both stumbled their ways back to find out what the girls were laughing at.

"Lucy I can't believe you drank! This is the best game of 'I never'!" Kennedy shrieked.

"Spike your girlfriend is crazy, you should hear some of the stuff she's done!" Willow giggled.

Lucy drunkenly fell forward and attempted to put a hand over Willow's mouth to silence her. Being both drunk and blind however made her aim way off and instead of covering Willow's mouth she missed the witch completely and fell off of her chair into Willow's lap face first.

Kennedy burst out laughing and pulled Lucy back into her chair. "Hey if anyone's face is going to end up in Willow's lap it's going to be mine." She protested.

Angel had taken a huge gulp of whiskey just before she said this and then proceeded to spit said whiskey across the plane at the mention of Kennedy's face in Willow's lap.

Spike picked Lucy up and sat back down with her on his lap. "So you wanna tell me what you've been tellin the girls? I wanna hear how crazy you are."

Lucy shook her head back and forth. "Nope, there are some things you don't need to know mister." She stated firmly and then collapsed into a fit of giggles. "Besides most of the stuff I told em was stuff I've done with you."

Spike smiled, "Guess me and you are a bit feisty."

He leaned over to try and kiss Lucy but only succeeded in falling on the floor in between the girls' seats. The girls burst out laughing when Spike fell, their high pitched giggling cut into Spike's head and made him groan.

"Sir? We'll be landing in just a few minutes, the captain requests that everyone return to their seats and fasten their seat belts." A timid stewardess whispered to Angel.

Angel nodded and wiped a hand across his face in an attempt to sober up. "Ok you heard the lady everyone back in their sheats." He ordered and then stumbled back into his seat.

Lucy grabbed the back of Spike's jacket and pulled the vampire up off the floor with one hand and deposited him in his seat.

"Wow Lucy you are so strong!" Willow exclaimed, obviously impressed.

Lucy shrugged as she fastened her seat belt. "Yeah, hopefully I don't lose it all when the Drogyn guy does the spell. I kind of like these powers. Although not being blue anymore would be a nice change."

"I think you look great bein blue. It's like you're my own personal Smurfette, it's so hot!" Spike joked drunkenly.

The entire plane cabin grew quiet and everyone turned to stare at Spike.

"Um Spike did you just admit that you get turned on by Smurfette?" Kennedy asked, trying hard not to burst out laughing. It however was a futile attempt and soon everyone was laughing hysterically.

"Wait no that's not what I meant." Spike protested, trying to be heard over the raucous laughter.

Lucy leaned forward and groped Spike in a way that was highly inappropriate in front of company. "Don't worry I like being your Smurfette." She giggled in his ear before kissing him deeply.

"Why did you let me drink that much?" Spike protested later that day as he lay in him and Lucy's hotel room and tried hard to stop the bed from spinning.

"Hey you're a big boy, plus I was drunk myself how was I supposed to keep track of your drinking?" Lucy asked brightly as she flipped through the t.v. channels trying to find something interesting to listen to.

"Ow don't talk to so loud." Spike complained and shoved a pillow over his head in an attempt to ease the pounding in his skull.

"Sorry." Lucy quipped sarcastically.

"It's not fair you don't have a hangover." Spike complained, his voice muffled by the pillow.

"I guess it's the demon in me. I feel fine." Lucy replied smugly.

"Yeah, well you don't have to brag about it." He snapped grumpily.

Lucy switched off the t.v. and threw the remote towards the bed, she was proud when she heard it lightly thump onto the blanket, her aim was getting really good with these new powers.

"Well aren't you a ray of sunshine? I'm going to take a shower, you try and get some sleep." Lucy ordered.

As Lucy stood under the hot spray of the shower she thought about what would happen that night when they entered the Deeper Well. She was scared of having another spell done on her, but she knew it was necessary. Even though the unbinding spell had disconnected her mind from Illyria's she could still feel the demon god inside her head. It was infinitely better than when she could actually hear Illyria but she could still feel her presence and it was getting stronger every day.

She hadn't told anyone that she could still feel Illyria, she didn't want to worry Spike anymore than he already had. But she was terrified that if they didn't get Illyria's soul out of her soon then the demon would take over and Lucy would be the prisoner, stuck inside her own mind.

No matter how scared Lucy was of more magic, she knew that whatever the outcome it would be better than sharing her body with Illyria's soul. Having seen the atrocities that Illyria had committed Lucy felt dirty all the time knowing that the demon god was inside of her. It made her feel even more invaded and defiled than she'd felt after Jason Richards had raped her, she didn't know if she'd ever be able to feel normal again. But she figured getting Illyria out was a good starting point to returning to normal.

With that thought in mind she finished her shower and got dressed, prepared for whatever lay ahead in the Deeper Well.


	34. Chapter 34

34

"Lucy you stay behind Willow and Kennedy." Spike insisted.

They were walking through a wooded area that seemed about as far from dangerous as Disneyland, but Spike and Angel were both on edge. They had prepared the three women for the horde of demons that had guarded the Deeper Well and attacked them when they'd come to seek answers about Fred.

"Spike I could help fight. I mean with Illyria's powers I could really help." Lucy protested.

Spike caught Lucy's hand and pulled her to a stop, allowing the others to move on without the couple.

"Love I know you want to help, but even with Illyria's powers we don't know that you're completely invulnerable. These demons might still be able to harm you. You've never been trained to fight and I'm sorry to point this out love, but you are blind. What if you accidentally took a swing at one of us?" He whispered, hoping it didn't hurt her feelings.

Lucy's face turned down in a frown, but she seemed to see the wisdom in what Spike was saying and agreed with a nod of her head. Spike took her hand in his and they continued to walk deeper into the woods.

"It seems like a nice night." Lucy whispered, trying to make conversation.

Spike inhaled deeply and let out a sigh. "It is a nice night. There's a big full moon in the sky, shining down through the trees, kind of makes everything a pretty blue color. The trees are just starting to change color for the fall too, there's lots of red and gold leaves blowing around on the ground." He described.

Lucy moved closer to Spike and hugged his arm as they walked. "Thanks."

"For what?" He asked.

"Being my eyes. You told me once that you would do that and I'm thankful that you kept that promise." She explained. "I love you so much Spike, I just wanted you to know that. You've been the best thing that's ever happened to me, I'm so lucky…"

"Don't!" Spike interrupted, snapping at her loudly making her jump. "Don't start saying goodbye Lucy. I know that's what you're doing. You're going to be fine, nothing is going to happen to you in there and I won't have you going in thinking that you won't be coming back out!" He insisted.

"Spike you don't know that. I just want you to know how I feel, just in case something happens." She explained.

"Yeah well I know how you feel love. And I don't want to hear it right now. When that spell is over and done with and I have you in my arms again, then you can spout goddamn Shakespearian sonnets to me if you feel like. But not right now, right now you've got to believe that this is nothing more than a walk in the park." He ranted.

Lucy giggled. "Well technically we are walking in a park right now." She pointed out and indicated the woods around them.

"Smartass." He grumbled.

They laughed softly and companionably together. A sudden menacing roar interrupted their laughter. Spike pushed Lucy behind Willow and Kennedy and quickly moved up to stand beside Angel.

"Saint Petersburg again?" Angel asked Spike.

"Well technically we've never been here before so I'm thinking they'll fall for it again." Spike replied.

Lucy wasn't sure what they were talking about, but it sounded interesting. She swallowed nervously as the one roar she'd heard became a chorus of grunts and guttural moans. She wasn't sure how many there were, but she could tell there were a lot of them. The ground under her feet began to vibrate as the creatures ran at them. She could smell them now, a dank sweaty rotted smell that made her eyes water and threatened to gag her.

All around her she could almost feel the others tensing as they prepared for the fight. In front of Lucy and to her left she could hear Willow chanting some sort of a spell quietly. To her right she could hear Kennedy drawing some sort of a metallic weapon. The noises and vibrations increased until Lucy felt like her ear drums would burst.

"Ready?" Spike asked.

"Ready." Angel replied.

Lucy heard a sharp twang of metal pierce through the rest of the cacophony, but she had no idea what it was. And then as suddenly as the noises had begun they stopped. It was so quiet Lucy could hear the wind as it blew through the branches overhead. She could hear many different types of breathing around her and the occasional creak of metal and leather.

"What's happening?" She asked fearfully.

"They all stopped." Kennedy whispered over her shoulder to Lucy.

"What do you mean stopped?" Lucy asked, frustrated with her need to have things explained to her.

"They all just stopped and kind of fell down to their knees. Now they're just looking at us." Willow explained.

"Angel did they do this last time?" Kennedy asked.

"No they pretty much just tried to rip us apart." He answered.

"I think it's' Lucy. Look at them. They're all staring at her." Willow mused.

Lucy felt Spike move beside her and take her hand. "She's right. Look at them, they're watching her." He said and took her hand, pulling her up to the front of the group.

She heard her friends all inhale at the same time. "What? What's happening?" She asked fearfully.

"They're moving to let you through. I think they must know that Illyria belongs in there or something." Angel explained.

"Well let's not give em time to change their minds." Spike muttered and pulled Lucy forward.

He held a hand over her head as they ducked into a giant tree trunk that made up the entrance of the Deeper Well. Lucy squeezed Spike's hand nervously, but made sure that she didn't hurt him when she did it.

"I'm scared." She whispered to him.

"I know love. Me too." He admitted.

"Abomination!"

Without warning Lucy suddenly felt the blade of a sword pressed to her throat. She wasn't sure, but from the sharp pain in her neck she had the feeling that despite her powers this blade could cut her if the person holding it wished it to cut her.

"Drogyn stop!" Angel shouted.

Lucy felt the blade pressure lessen just a fraction.

"Angel. What are you doing with Illyria? Do you not know who she is, what she is?" Drogyn asked, his voice dripping with disdain and hatred.

"I do, believe me. But this isn't Illyria. Well it's not just Illyria. It's complicated." Angel rambled.

"Explain." Drogyn ordered.

Lucy held perfectly still as Angel explained everything that had happened to her since Illyria had infected her. She kept a grip on Spike's hand and forced herself to focus on breathing steadily, even though she was terrified.

"You must have a strong soul little one. Most mortals could not survive the ravages of Illyria's mind." Drogyn complimented and removed the sword from her neck.

Lucy's ducked her head, embarrassment coloring her blue cheeks, making them turn purple. "Thank you." She mumbled.

"I know you don't remember it Drogyn but when we were here before you mentioned a spell that could put Illyria back into the Deeper Well. We're here to find out if that's still possible. We want you to pull Illyria's soul out of Lucy if you can." Angel explained.

Drogyn let out a harsh breath and seemed to consider. "It is possible I believe. Although nothing like this has ever been done before. It will not be without danger and it will not be easy."

"But you can do it?" Spike asked eagerly.

Drogyn moved forward then and took Lucy's free hand in his own. "This will be very difficult for you little one. Very painful. As Illyria's soul is pulled back into the Deeper Well she will fight to stay buried within you. You will have to force her out, while at the same time fight not to be pulled out yourself. If you fail, your soul will be pulled into the Deeper Well along with the demon's." Drogyn warned, sounding deeply sad for her.

Lucy nodded and tried to smile bravely. "That's alright. I can be strong." She replied confidently.

Spike pulled Lucy's hand out of Drogyn's grasp and gripped both of her shoulders. "Lucy you don't have to do this. I mean you can't hear Illyria anymore, just let the bitch stay stuck inside of you. It's what she deserves."

Lucy shook her head and put a hand on Spike's cheek, rubbing in comfortingly. "I can't do that. Spike I can still feel her. She's getting stronger. If we don't do this spell, she's going to take me over again. I know it." She revealed.

Spike pulled in a breath of air, Lucy could tell just from the sound of his breathing that he was angry with her. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want you to worry. I figured we'd come here and do the spell and everything would be fine. I didn't think you needed to know." She explained.

"You should have told me." He muttered.

"I know and I'm sorry. But look we're here, so let's just get this over with." She replied confidently.

"I'm ready." She said to Drogyn.

The ancient warrior nodded and turned to Angel. "It will take me a few minutes to prepare the spell. Wait here." He ordered and left them.

Lucy wrapped her hands around the rail of the bridge and leaned out with her ear tilted down, listening to the echoes that were so deep it confused her.

"How deep is this Deeper Well thing?" She asked Spike, hoping to get him talking to her again.

"It goes all the way through, all the way to the other side of the world. Kinda scary isn't it?" He explained.

Spike moved so that he was standing against Lucy. He rested his chin on her shoulder and inhaled her scent, the smell of apples reminding him of the first night they met.

"I am sorry I didn't tell you Spike. Please don't be angry with me. If I go in there thinking you're mad at me, I won't be able to do this." She pleaded.

"I'm not mad at you love. I still wish you had told me, but I ain't mad. I love you. You just gotta promise me that you're gonna hang on while he does the spell and force that evil fucking bitch outta you." He replied and hugged her tighter.

She nodded and turned so that they could hold each other. "I promise. Now kiss me."

Spike was happy to oblige. But all too soon Drogyn returned. "The chamber is ready."

"The rest of you may come, but once the spell begins you must not talk and most importantly you must not touch Lucy. If anyone touches Lucy they will be in danger of losing their soul to the Deeper Well just as she will be." He warned and began to lead them down a spiral stair case that wound down seeming to the center of the Earth and beyond.

They walked for nearly fifteen minutes, until Spike was sure they were deep beneath the Earth. He could almost feel the weight of stone and dirt above his head making him claustrophobic. Drogyn led them through a small door carved into the rock of the wall. The room he brought them into was large and circular, carved out of rock and lined with torches as the only means of illumination. The room was empty save a large stone slab carved out of rock in the center of the room.

"Lucy please remove your clothing and lay down on the stone." Drogyn instructed.

"Remove my clothes, as in like naked?" Lucy asked.

Drogyn looked confused as to why this would be a problem. "Yes, I'll need you in your natural state to perform the ceremony. Nothing must interfere with the magic."

"Maybe we should leave then." Angel replied uncomfortably.

Spike began to nod, but was interrupted by Lucy. "No please stay. I want you guys here. Besides I'm not that shy."

Spike really wanted to argue the point, he didn't want Angel seeing his Lucy undressed. But since it was Lucy who was facing a painful and potentially deadly spell, he figured she got to make the call as to who was around her while it happened.

Lucy swallowed nervously and hurriedly removed her clothing, shivering in the cold air of the cave. Once she was naked, Spike took her hand and led her to the stone slab although she could have found it on her own. He picked her up and set her down on the rock table, chuckling a little when she yelped at the cold stone under her bare butt. He put both of his hands to her face and cupped her cheeks.

"Remember that promise you made me, you keep fighting no matter what." He insisted passionately.

Lucy nodded and wiped away a stray tear that had slipped from her eye despite her best efforts not to cry.

"I promise. I love you Spike." She whispered into his ear and then kissed him deeply, knowing it could very well be the last time she got to do it.

"Love you too Lucy Valentine. More than anything else in this or any other world." He whispered back as he helped her lay down on the stone slab.

"If the rest of you would stand around the room against the wall we can begin." Drogyn instructed.

Lucy listened intently, hearing her friends move around the room. She felt comforted knowing that people who cared about her were all around her. For just a second she felt a deep longing for her brother and wished more than anything that he could be there with her.

She heard the sound of something being lit on fire and soon after a pungent smell of burning herbs filled the room, threatening to choke her. Drogyn began chanting, his melodious voice bounced around the stone cavern and actually had a calming effect on the pounding of Lucy's heart.

The calm feeling lasted only a few seconds and then Lucy felt the effects of the spell powerfully. A cold emptiness filled her stomach and began to spread out to her limbs. She felt as if ice water was slowly filling her veins. Soon her entire body felt painfully frozen from the inside out and she wished that the cold would just numb her so that she couldn't feel anything, but that didn't seem to be happening. The pain coursed through her body, like icy cold knives cutting into every inch of her body at once. It hurt more than anything she'd ever felt before. The pain in her eyes when she was blinded had been nothing compared to this, even the pain when Illyria had burned her body from the inside out had been a gentle breeze against her skin compared to the frigid pain which cut into her now. Part of her longed for death just to make the pain stop. The only thing that kept her fighting was Spike and the promise she'd made him.

Lucy tried to stay focused on the sounds of the room; on Drogyn's voice and on the heartbeats of Kennedy and Willow but those noises suddenly seemed to be coming from very far away.

She felt as if she were being sucked into a black hole of nothingness. In her head she imagined herself dangling from the edge of a cliff by her fingers. She gripped the stone with all of her willpower and strength, but no matter what she did she could still feel herself losing her grip, one finger at a time. Below her imagined feet she pictured a swirling black vortex of empty space, sucking and pulling at her.

_Just keep fighting. I promised Spike, I won't let go no matter what._ She thought to herself. Keep fighting, Keep fighting, Keep fighting. She chanted over and over.

She could feel Illyria clearly now, she could even hear her again. The demon god shrieked wordlessly inside her head, so loud that Lucy was momentarily distracted from the icy cold pain. Illyria fought so hard that Lucy could almost feel the demon god clinging to her very soul.

But just as Lucy felt herself slipping away she could feel Illyria slipping away as well. It gave her just enough hope to hang on for a little while longer. If she could just hang on until Illyria was gone then she knew the pain would end and she'd be free.

She could hear Drogyn chanting from very far away, it seemed as if his voice was coming from the surface of the ocean while she lay at the bottom of its freezing, crushing depths. The pull of the spell continued to increase as did Illyria's frenzy. Lucy felt another finger slip off the imaginary cliff in her head. She hung on with all her might and prayed that it would end soon.

With one final scream of rage Illyria was pulled free of Lucy's soul. Lucy felt a snapping inside of her as their two souls were yanked apart. The joy she felt was just the distraction that Illyria needed and with a final burst of demonic strength Illyria clutched onto Lucy's soul and pulled her out of her body.

Lucy's imagined hands slipped off the cliff and without warning she was falling into the black hole, falling into nothingness.

Spike watched as Drogyn performed the spell. When Lucy's body arched off the table in obvious pain Willow moved quietly to his side and took his hand in her own, trying to give him a little comfort as he watched his love suffer so much.

It lasted so much longer than Spike thought it would. He couldn't stand seeing Lucy in pain, it seemed like all he had done in the last few months was watch her suffer.

It ended without any type of warning. The blue color of Illyria drained out of Lucy, until she looked like herself again. Pale skin, dark red hair, and the bright green eyes he'd only seen in pictures.

Lucy's body relaxed back onto the table and she let out a gentle sigh. Spike watched as a small smile touched her lips and she closed her eyes.

"The demon has been returned." Drogyn whispered.

Spike watched Lucy anxiously for a few seconds waiting for her to cry or speak or do something. But after almost a minute she still hadn't moved and it was then that Spike realized Lucy wasn't breathing.

"Lucy? Lucy, please wake up love." Spike shouted. He ran to her, eager to pick her up off the stone slab.

"No! Don't let him touch her! The spell is still working, his soul will be pulled into the Well!" Drogyn shouted.

Angel and Drogyn both leapt forward to stop Spike before he could lay a hand on Lucy. Spike screamed and fought at them, desperate to reach Lucy. He placed a well aimed elbow to Angel's face and was able to twist out of Drogyn's grip at the same time.

He grabbed Lucy by the shoulders and shook her.

"Lucy breath!" He screamed into her face.

Lucy's body shook like a rag doll in Spike's arms, obviously lifeless. Spike's eyes suddenly widened in shock and he dropped Lucy as his body stiffened like a board. He let out one small whimper and then collapsed forward. He fell on top of Lucy his body covering hers and every bit as lifeless.

**A/N- So I'm really proud of how this chapter came out and I hope you guys enjoy reading it. We're coming up on the end of this story soon, although it's turned out way longer than I had originally planned on. I hope you guys are enjoying it and thank you so much everyone who has stuck with it for so long! A big special thank you to everyone who has reviewed, I appreciate it so much and getting reviews definitely makes it more fun to write and post! Thanks again everyone!!!**


	35. Chapter 35

35

Softly playing music was the first thing Lucy heard when she woke up. She recognized the tune as The Sleeping Beauty Waltz her favorite which was her favorite ballet. She was lying on something hard, but it didn't feel like the stone table she'd been on during the spell.

When Lucy opened her eyes she received the shock of her life when she found that she could see. Her eyes focused in on a ceiling high above her. She could make out a catwalk, ropes, and lights hanging above her head.

"It's about time you woke up." Someone said, sounding amused.

Lucy sat upright and stared in wonder at the person who was leaning casually against a brick wall.

"Alex?" She asked in a trembling voice.

"Hey baby sister, long time no see." He said with a small laugh.

He walked over and put a hand out to help pull Lucy to her feet. Lucy looked around in awe and saw that she was on the stage of a theater. The seats of the house were all empty spreading out before her into darkness.

"Alex you're dead." She stated and then felt slightly stupid. "Wait am I dead?" She asked, her brain finally catching up with the circumstances.

Alex pulled her into a hug and kissed the top of her head. "Yeah you are dead baby sister. Sorry, I know it's not fair."

Lucy held tight to her brother. She was torn between sadness over the fact that she was dead and happiness to be holding her brother again.

"I missed you so much Alex. It was so hard without you." She cried into his shoulder.

Alex nodded and rubbed her back. "I know it was Luce, but you were so brave. I'm so so proud of you."

"You saw everything that happened?" She asked.

"Well not everything. I mean you and Spike were screwing like bunnies, I definitely did not want to see that." He joked.

Lucy was amazed at how normal it felt to be talking with her dead brother.

"So where are we? Is this Heaven?" She asked as she looked around the empty theater.

"No it's not Heaven. Think of it more like a waiting room." He explained.

"Waiting room? What am I waiting for?" She asked.

"I'm not sure. I guess if we wait around long enough we'll find out." He replied with a nonchalant shrug.

Lucy looked down and noticed for the first time that she was dressed in dance clothes complete with toe shoes. Alex was similarly dressed in dance clothing. She walked around the stage looking at everything relishing in her ability to see again. She couldn't seem to stop staring at her brother.

"You want to take a picture?" He asked when he noticed that she was staring.

"Sorry I just haven't gotten to see anything for so long and I missed you so much." She explained and leapt forward to hug him again.

He caught her easily and picked her up into a graceful lift above his head. "I missed you too baby sister." He laughed as he held her in the air.

Lucy giggled as he dropped her down into a sweeping dip and then set her back on her feet. "You know you were only ten minutes older than me when we were both alive. Plus I lived for six years longer than you did so wouldn't that make me the older sibling now?" She teased.

"Nope sorry kid, you'll always be my baby sister." He replied smugly. "So you feel like dancing while we wait?" He asked and offered his hand to her.

She nodded excitedly and pulled up onto her toes. The music began again and they danced together like they had never been apart. Lucy knew it had to be something to do with the place they were it because there was no way they could have danced that well after so long if they'd still been alive.

The siblings laughed and hugged again when the music ended. Their laughter was interrupted by a single person's applause coming from somewhere out in the seats. Lucy looked at her brother questioningly her eye brows raised in confusion.

"Don't ask me I have no idea who it is." He said with a shrug.

Lucy put a hand over her eyes to shield them from the stage lights and tried to make out the person who was clapping. After a second she could make out a shadow moving towards the stage.

"That was beautiful love."

"Spike?" Lucy whispered, not believing what she was hearing.

Spike stepped into the light so that Lucy could make him out clearly. He was just like she remembered him from the brief time she'd been able to see when Illyria had taken her over. Lucy ran down the steps of the stage and threw herself into Spike's arms.

Spike held her tightly and spun her around in a circle.

"Spike why are you here? Are you dead too?" She asked worriedly.

"Think I am love." He answered.

"What happened?" She asked, she couldn't figure out what could have killed Spike.

"Remember when Drogyn said none of us could touch you until the spell was over with, yeah I sorta didn't listen to that." He replied sheepishly.

"Spike! How could you do that? Why would you kill yourself? That was stupid!" She shouted and smacked his arm.

"Well I wasn't trying to kill myself. I was scared, you weren't breathing. I was just trying to help you." He explained.

"Always trying to be my knight in shining armor." She whispered and kissed him.

Spike picked her up again and returned her kisses.

"You know I really don't need to see that." Alex called from the stage.

Lucy pulled away from Spike and laughed. "Come on I want you to meet my brother." Lucy gushed and pulled Spike up the stairs to the stage.

"Spike this is my brother Alex. Alex this is Spike." She introduced.

The two men shook hands. "It's nice to meet you Alex, Lucy has talked about you a lot." Spike said politely.

"It's nice to meet you too Spike. Thank you for loving my sister so much. You've taken good care of her." Alex replied sincerely.

"Well I don't know about that. If I'd really taken care of her, we wouldn't be here. I'm so sorry about all this love. It's my fault." He said sadly and pulled Lucy into a hug.

Lucy squeezed him tightly. "It wasn't your fault Spike. Don't blame yourself for anything." She stated firmly.

"So any idea what we're doing here, or where exactly here is?" Spike asked.

"Alex says it's some sort of waiting room." She replied. "Alex is there anything else you can tell us?" She asked and turned to her brother.

But Alex was no longer standing behind them. She scanned the large theater but didn't see him anywhere.

"Alex? ALEX?" She yelled, but received no response.

"Where did he go?" Lucy asked fearfully.

"I've got no idea love. But I mean he's already dead so what's the worst that could happen?" Spike pointed out.

"I guess you're right." Lucy agreed, although she was still worried.

Spike patted his coat and was surprised to find his pack of cigarettes still in the left pocket. He pulled one out and lit it. The cigarette tasted and felt the same as it always had. He sure didn't feel dead, he had previous experience with it after all and this was nothing like the first time.

"Can I have one?" Lucy asked and pointed towards his cigarette.

Spike pulled one out of the pack and lit it for her before handing it over.

"Guess I don't have to worry about these being bad for me anymore huh?" She joked.

"Guess not." Spike agreed.

"I'm sorry I couldn't fight hard enough. I tried I really did, but she was just so strong." Lucy apologized as she smoked.

Spike took a seat on the edge of the stage and pulled Lucy down so that she was sitting next to him. "We're together now love. That's all that matters."

Lucy turned so that she could look at Spike, she couldn't seem to get enough of being able to see. Spike was so handsome it took her breath away. She could have happily spent years looking at him.

Spike met her eyes and admired the deep green color. "I love seeing you like this." He murmured and brushed a hand over her eyebrows.

"I just love seeing you." She replied.

"You've got my baby sister smoking? Maybe you aren't as good of a guy as I thought." Alex said suddenly from behind them.

"Alex! Where did you go?" Lucy yelled as she jumped up and hurried over to her brother.

Alex laughed at her reaction. "I was called away, had to talk to someone." He replied mysteriously.

"Who?" She asked suspiciously.

"Let's just call him an advisor. Don't worry someday when you're ready you'll meet him." Alex assured her.

"So what'd this advisor have to say?" Spike asked as he joined them.

"Well he has a couple choices for the two of you." Alex explained.

"Choices?" She asked.

"About where you go from here." Alex explained.

"We get a choice? What are they?" Spike asked.

"Well your choices are to either move onto the next plane of existence or return to Earth. The choice is up to you." Alex revealed.

"What's the catch? There's always a catch to these things." Spike questioned.

Alex smiled and nodded. "Well not so much a catch, but there are a few things to keep in mind. If you move on you'll both be happy and you'll be together. If you return to Earth everything will be the same which means Lucy will still be blind."

"That seems like an easy choice. I say we move on and be happy." Spike voted.

"There is just one thing. If you two return to Earth you'll be major players for the side of good in the battle that is coming. I can't say whether or not your presence will make a difference, but there is a chance that it could." Alex revealed.

"Told you there's always a catch." Spike muttered under his breath.

"I think we should go back Spike." Lucy said firmly.

"You sure bout that love? I mean here you've got your vision and your brother and we'd still be together. I think we deserve it after everything that's happened. If we go back and fight with Angel and the rest of them, it probably means more pain." Spike warned.

Lucy nodded and although she looked scared she also seemed determined. "I know. But what if us not going back means that someone else we care about gets hurt or killed. I couldn't stand that."

Spike was again reminded of why he loved her so very much. She was probably the bravest soul he'd ever met.

"Alright if you're sure that this is what you want." Spike conceded.

"I had a feeling you would make that decision. I'm proud of you." Alex stated warmly.

Lucy looked at her brother sadly. "I just got you back and now I'm losing you again." She whimpered.

Alex hugged her tightly. "Hey there kid. You won't ever lose me. I'll be watching over you and someday you'll be here again when it really is your time."

Lucy pulled away and stared at her brother, determined to burn his image into her mind. "Will we remember this when we go back?" She asked suddenly.

"Of course you will." Alex assured her.

"Good I wouldn't want to forget seeing you. I'm so glad that you're alright." She cried and hugged him again.

Alex hugged her tightly and kissed her forehead. "Love you baby sister."

"Love you too big brother." She giggled through her tears and let go of him.

She turned to Spike and stared at him the way she had her brother. If she was going to be blind again then she was determined to always remember their faces as the last thing she saw.

"You sure bout this love?" Spike asked once more.

Lucy didn't have to think it over, she was sure.

"Definitely." She stated.

The next thing Lucy knew she was opening her eyes, only to find that they were blind once again.

"Spike?" She asked worriedly.

"Right here love. Right here." He assured her before pressing his lips to hers.


	36. Chapter 36

36

The cavernous room fell silent as Spike slumped over Lucy's body, his eyes wide and glassy. Angel was suddenly aware of the crackling of the torches against the wall and of the harsh breathing from Willow and Kennedy.

Willow's cry was the thing that broke the silence. A small strangled sob escaped her throat. It was more a cry of shock than anything else, shock at the tragic turn of events that had happened so suddenly.

Drogyn mumbled quietly and quickly under his breath. "The spell is ended." He whispered sadly.

Angel darted forward and grabbed Spike off of Lucy. "Spike? Come on Spike don't do this." Angel yelled into the blond vampire's face, shaking him the way just seconds before Spike had shaken Lucy.

It was obvious that Spike was gone. His body hung limply in Angel's arms, his eyes staring blankly towards the door. Angel put Spike's body down on the stone slab, arranging him so that he lay next to Lucy their arms close so that their hands were touching. With a level of tenderness that surprised even him Angel gently closed Spike's eyes.

Angel turned to look at the girls. Kennedy had taken Willow into her arms and was rocking her back and forth, whispering words of comfort into her ear as the witch cried. Willow let go of Kennedy suddenly and turned to hug Angel.

"I'm sorry Angel, I know you and Spike didn't always like each other, but well I'm still sorry." She mumbled clumsily.

Angel returned the hug gratefully. "I'm sorry too. I'm sorry for the both of them. Neither of them deserved this. I should have done more to help her, I mean that's what I do and Spike was finally becoming a good man… I- I should have done more."

Willow released her hold on Angel and shook her head. "It wasn't your fault Angel. You did everything you could to help Lucy. She knew how dangerous this was, she wouldn't blame you for anything."

Angel nodded and turned to look at the bodies. Lying side by side like they were it was easy to believe that they were merely sleeping. Angel prayed that wherever they had gone they were together as they would want to be.

"I'm sorry Angel. I did what I could, but Illyria's hold on the little one's soul was too great." Drogyn apologized, his voice thick with regret.

Angel squeezed Drogyn's shoulder with one hand. "Thank you for trying old friend. It wasn't your fault either."

"The bodies? We could bury them in the wood. I know a peaceful spot where they will rest peacefully." Drogyn offered.

Angel ran a hand over his face and rubbed his eyes tiredly. "That will be fine, thank you Drogyn." He agreed with a nod.

Angel turned to the table, ready to pick up Lucy's body and carry it from the chamber. It was then that Lucy twitched and inhaled a giant breath of air. Angel jumped and realized that if his heart wasn't already stopped it would have done so right then.

Behind him he heard Willow and Kennedy both draw in shocked breaths of air. On the stone table Lucy coughed and began to move. Beside her Spike began to move as well, although he didn't breath.

"How?" Drogyn whispered.

Angel shook his head in confusion, but couldn't seem to find any words. He watched in amazement as Lucy and Spike both opened their eyes, obviously alive.

"Spike?" Lucy asked in confusion and reached out a hand blindly.

Spike sat up and leaned over Lucy. "Right here love, Right here." He assured her before kissing her deeply.

Angel backed up until he bumped into the stone wall and nearly smacked his head into a flaming torch. He pulled his eyes away from the definitely not dead couple and looked at Willow, hoping maybe she had an answer. Judging from the shocked look on her face, Angel surmised that she was just as confused as he was. He then looked to Drogyn, but the immortal warrior looked both confused and slightly horrified.

On the table Lucy and Spike had broken off their kiss and were holding each other tightly. Lucy suddenly released Spike and jumped up from the table, completely forgetting the fact that she was naked.

She let out a delighted laugh and spun around in a circle. "Oh my god." She said quietly, sounding awed.

"What is it love?" Spike asked, obviously concerned.

"I still have her powers. But I can feel them not, all of them. It's amazing." She giggled.

Suddenly Lucy disappeared in the blink of an eye and reappeared on the other side of the stone slab. She laughed and disappeared again. In less time than it took to realize that she was gone she reappeared again at Spike's side.

"This is amazing!" She giggled.

Spike broke his gaze away from Lucy and noticed that the rest of the room was staring at her just as intently as he had just been. It also occurred to him then that Lucy was still naked.

"Angel you mind not staring at my girlfriend like that when she's naked. You too Drogyn." Spike growled. He didn't seem to mind so much that Willow and Kennedy were staring.

"Oh yeah sorry." Angel muttered and averted his eyes to the ceiling.

Drogyn looked confused but followed the vampire's example.

Spike picked up Lucy's clothing from the floor and pressed them into Lucy's hands. Lucy was still practically vibrating with happiness and barely noticed the articles of clothing in her arms.

"Love get dressed." Spike ordered gently.

Lucy blinked and nodded. "Sorry, it's just so overwhelming. There's so much…" She whispered and began to put on her clothes.

Once she was dressed Angel put his hands on his hips and tapped his foot. "Alright so now do you two mind telling me how you're not dead?"

Lucy hopped up onto the stone slab, amazed at the ease of the action. She explained everything that had happened in the theater and everything her brother had told them. If she'd been talking to regular people she figured her story would have been met with disbelief. This group however simply commented on her and Spike's luck, but didn't seem surprised by their miraculous resurrection. The biggest reaction they got was from Willow who hugged them both and declared that she was happy they weren't dead.

"Now that the demon Illyria has been returned it is time that you left. The demons that guard the Deeper Well will not be held off for much longer, it is best if you leave before they attack." Drogyn instructed and waved a hand towards the door, indicating that they should follow him out.

"Drogyn are you sure Illyria is really gone from me? I mean if she's not in me anymore why do I still have her powers?" Lucy asked as they began the long journey back to the surface.

"The soul of the demon is gone, but the body remains, the powers are in the body. It is a strange circumstance, if Illyria had been the only one inhabiting the body then when she was returned the body would have died and the powers would have died as well. Because your soul is still here, it means that the powers are still here as well. When Illyria was inside of you she controlled the powers, you were able to feel and use some of them because she couldn't contain the full extent of them. Now that she is gone there is no barrier between you and the demon body." Drogyn explained as they walked up the rickety stairs.

Lucy nodded thoughtfully as she followed behind Spike. She found it hard to process what Drogyn was saying. Her mind seemed to be moving at a million miles per hour as she tried to get a handle on her powers. Before when she and Illyria had both inhabited her body she could feel the powers warming her as if she were sitting outside on a warm day. Now it was more like flying straight into the heart of the Sun.

She was distracted by the emotions she could feel coming from the others. She knew exactly what each of them was feeling as they made their way to the surface, but she wasn't bothered even by the negative emotions. She knew what they were feeling but she wasn't forced to feel them herself, it was almost like mind reading. She could also hear and feel the roots of the plants that were growing in the dirt above their heads.

Her mind was also distracted by the sheer amount of energy coursing through her body. She'd never known power like this, it made her feel invincible. She knew that if she wished she could tunnel straight through the rocks without any effort.

"The demons will hold for a few more minutes under my commands, hurry and leave quickly and you can avoid a fight." Drogyn instructed when they reached the doorway.

Angel and Spike both shook Drogyn's hand and thanked him for his help. As Lucy passed by she pulled Drogyn into a tight embrace.

"Thank you for everything you did for me. I can't tell you how much it means to me." She gushed as she hugged him.

Drogyn patted her back awkwardly and grimaced uncomfortably. "I was only doing my job little one, your gratitude isn't necessary." He insisted.

"Well thank you anyway. You saved me and I'll always be grateful to you for that." She insisted.

Spike pulled on her hand to hurry her along. She let go of Drogyn and walked out into the crisp night air. She could hear the harsh breathing of the demons again as they walked by. They all quickened their pace and kept it up until they were well past the creatures.

Thankfully they moved past the demons without a conflict and were soon walking through the once more quiet nighttime woods. Lucy inhaled the sweet scent of the trees and smiled at the cool breeze that blew across her face, she couldn't remember the last time she'd felt so happy. It occurred to her as they walked that she didn't need to hold onto Spike's shoulder for guidance, nor did she need to concentrate on the sound of her footsteps to keep her from walking into things. It was no longer a chore trying to move around with her disability. It wasn't as ideal as being able to see, but Lucy realized that her powers were going to make so many aspects of her life easier.

Spike smiled happily when Lucy moved to his side and slid her hand into his, interlacing her fingers with his. He was used to leading her as they walked so they very rarely had ever walked and held hands before, it was a nice change. He glanced over to see that Lucy's face was lit with happiness, her mouth curved into a gentle smile that made her already beautiful face even lovelier.

"I missed seeing you like this." He commented.

"Seeing me like what?" She asked, her brow furrowing in confusion.

"Happy, smiling. It's the first time I've seen you look this peaceful since before all this started. Plus I missed your red hair." He joked and tugged on a lock of her silky hair.

Lucy stopped so that Spike's arm was pulled from the sudden lack of motion. "What do you mean missed my red hair?" She asked.

"Well I mean when you were all blue I just kinda missed your red hair, it's nice to see it again." He explained.

Lucy reached a hand up and touched her own face, although it made little difference. "I'm not blue anymore?" She asked her voice filled with hope.

Spike moved back to Lucy's side and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "No love. You look like you again." He assured her.

Lucy's smile grew even wider and she threw both arms around his shoulders. "I'm me again!" She exclaimed happily.

Spike picked her up off the ground and swung her around in a circle. He was just as delighted as she was to have her back to being just his Lucy once again. He set her down and gave her a quick kiss before they began walking again. Angel and the girls had quite a lead on them now, but Spike didn't hurry to catch up.

"What about my eyes Spike? Are they still blue or…" Lucy asked.

"They're green love. She ain't in you at all anymore." He assured her.

Without warning Lucy suddenly sat straight down onto her butt in the damp grass.

"Lucy?" Spike asked, his voice a mixture of confusion and worry. He grew even more worried when he noticed tears running down Lucy's cheeks.

"Love what's wrong? Should I get Angel or Willow?… I could go get Drogyn." He offered.

Lucy grabbed his hand before he could hurry away. "No Spike, I'm fine. Don't go get anyone. I guess I just realized that she's really gone. I- I don't think I really believed it until now." She whimpered.

It dawned on Spike then that Lucy wasn't crying because anything was wrong. She was crying because for the first time in so long, nothing was wrong. He took a seat on the grass beside her and pulled her onto his lap. She curled into him, the curves of her body melding perfectly to his. Her skinny arms wrapped around ribs and she buried her face into the crook of his neck. He held her for a long time as she cried quietly against him, finally letting out all of the pent up stresses and fears that she'd had locked inside of her for so long.

Spike pressed his lips to the top of Lucy's hair and inhaled her sweet apple scent that drove him so crazy. If he was honest with himself he had to admit that part of him had been absolutely convinced that he was going to lose Lucy to Illyria. He never would have admitted to having those doubts before, but now that she was safe it suddenly became clear to Spike just how close he'd come to losing her. As she cried against him Spike felt himself growing lighter and he realized that Lucy was crying for both of them.

"Hey not to interrupt whatever you guys are doing back there, but the sun is coming up." Angel reminded from far ahead in the trees.

Lucy laughed and climbed out of Spike's lap. She jumped to her feet, again surprising herself by how simple and effortless the motions were. She reached a hand down to help Spike up.

"Guess we better go before I'm stuck dating a bunch of ashes huh?" She joked as she pulled Spike to his feet.

"Yeah probably wouldn't be fun screwing a pile of dust would it?" He agreed with a laugh.

Hand in hand they hurried through the woods to the car that would take them back to the London Wolfram and Hart office and their waiting jet.

As Lucy felt the wheels of the jet leave the ground she smiled internally. She was leaving Illyria behind in England and moving forward with the man she loved. She remembered her brother's words about the coming fight between good and evil and knew that she and Spike's future would probably include fighting and pain.

The realization didn't scare her as much as she'd thought it would. She already dealt with more pain and struggles than most people could imagine and she'd come out the other side of those. She knew that as long as she had Spike by her side, it wouldn't matter what life threw at her in the future, she would make it through.

**A/N- Sorry it has been so long between updates. I wasn't quite sure if chapter 35 should be the end or not, but there is some stuff I want to add into an Epilogue and I needed another chapter to get there so here ya go! Hope you enjoy and reviews are awesome!!!!**


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